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We have been seriously looking into moving to NEPA to spend the rest of our lives. We like the towns & surrounding forests, we like the climate, and the people we've met so far have been very nice. We hope to find a big chunk of land within 20-30 min of Milford, Honesdale, or Jim Thorpe. But here's our question: are locals open to befriending newcomers? Or does everyone just kind of do their own thing separately?
What leads us to this question is that we currently live in Harrisburg and have had an extremely hard time making friends since we moved here 7 years ago. I would have thought that our son going to an alternative (read:hippie) school and living in a neighborhood known for its sense of community would have provided us with many potential friends but that hasn't been the case. Everyone is friendly enough, but when we try to form deeper connections we get the feeling that people's lives are either too busy or too full for more friends. There is a feeling of closed-off-ness that seems to permeate social situations: people come, eat food, exchange pleasantries, and go home to get on with their lives. I can't tell if this is a problem with Central PA or just in general with the world now that social media is the main way people seem to communicate...
We have never had this problem before but in the past met people through work or school. Problem is, now we both work from home, are not religious or political, and we will most likely be homeschooling the kids when we move, so built-in avenues of befriending people are seriously lacking. We are very much DIYers and not afraid of reaching out to people or getting involved, but this constant subtle rejection has left us a little gun-shy. And because we want to put down roots wherever we move to next, we want to be sure we're welcome.
I'm originally from Chicago, my husband's from Maryland, and we lived a good chunk of our lives in LA. We're artists/musicians/techies/gamers/crafters/builders with VERY eclectic interests. My hope is that since the Poconos have many transplants from Philly & NYC that locals will be open to people a little different. But maybe we're just too weird for PA.
Anybody got any insights? Do any of the three towns (Milford, Honesdale, Jim Thorpe) seem like they would be a better fit for us?
We have been seriously looking into moving to NEPA to spend the rest of our lives. We like the towns & surrounding forests, we like the climate, and the people we've met so far have been very nice. We hope to find a big chunk of land within 20-30 min of Milford, Honesdale, or Jim Thorpe. But here's our question: are locals open to befriending newcomers? Or does everyone just kind of do their own thing separately?
What leads us to this question is that we currently live in Harrisburg and have had an extremely hard time making friends since we moved here 7 years ago. I would have thought that our son going to an alternative (read:hippie) school and living in a neighborhood known for its sense of community would have provided us with many potential friends but that hasn't been the case. Everyone is friendly enough, but when we try to form deeper connections we get the feeling that people's lives are either too busy or too full for more friends. There is a feeling of closed-off-ness that seems to permeate social situations: people come, eat food, exchange pleasantries, and go home to get on with their lives. I can't tell if this is a problem with Central PA or just in general with the world now that social media is the main way people seem to communicate...
We have never had this problem before but in the past met people through work or school. Problem is, now we both work from home, are not religious or political, and we will most likely be homeschooling the kids when we move, so built-in avenues of befriending people are seriously lacking. We are very much DIYers and not afraid of reaching out to people or getting involved, but this constant subtle rejection has left us a little gun-shy. And because we want to put down roots wherever we move to next, we want to be sure we're welcome.
I'm originally from Chicago, my husband's from Maryland, and we lived a good chunk of our lives in LA. We're artists/musicians/techies/gamers/crafters/builders with VERY eclectic interests. My hope is that since the Poconos have many transplants from Philly & NYC that locals will be open to people a little different. But maybe we're just too weird for PA.
Anybody got any insights? Do any of the three towns (Milford, Honesdale, Jim Thorpe) seem like they would be a better fit for us?
Thanks in advance!!
I live outside of Jim Thorpe for nearly 6 years now. We, initially, had some difficulty in meeting people/making friends. We do not have children, we both work demanding jobs far from home, are not religious, etc.
Our neighbors are great and friendly in the "hi-bye" kind of way. My other half is not a huge socializer, in general and we're playing catch up most weekends. Frankly, we don't have a lot of energy to expend on making a large number friends. Even before we came to PA our circle was small. We're ok with that. Quality over quantity.
But we've been invited to BBQs and have reciprocated. I became pretty friendly with my hair stylist-- she's invited us out and introduced us to her circle of friends. We're not out and about every weekend but we're friendly with folks. We also met several people through our HOA's community cleanups and things of that nature.
Anybody got any insights? Do any of the three towns (Milford, Honesdale, Jim Thorpe) seem like they would be a better fit for us?
Thanks in advance!!
Neighborhoods are what the people make of it...so in the same manner your choice of neighborhood will be what you make it be...you're going to encounter those who are open, welcoming, and friendly....you're also going to encounter those who will not acknowledge your existence at all...as mentioned before: the neighborhood is what you make of it....
I would just say to join groups of similar interest.
My job once moved me to Carlisle PA so I joined a hunting and fishing club. I would go over there two or three times a week to shoot skeet, sporting clays or fish.
So you might not be into hunting and fishing; go with what you are familiar with. Heck, if you like gaming, 'Steam' has a large community to discuss gaming. Maybe there are other places close for gamers? I like single player games so I'm not much help.
Your kids will have interest; even if they are home schooled. Maybe you might get into paint ball or kayaking? There are many ways to meet people if you have a shared interest.
...Milford, Honesdale, or Jim Thorpe. But here's our question: are locals open to befriending newcomers? Or does everyone just kind of do their own thing separately?...
... My hope is that since the Poconos have many transplants from Philly & NYC that locals will be open to people a little different. But maybe we're just too weird for PA. Anybody got any insights? Do any of the three towns (Milford, Honesdale, Jim Thorpe) seem like they would be a better fit for us?
... Thanks in advance!!
More Pocono residents seem to be transplants than natives. Although 75 to 100 miles away, certain Pocono neighborhoods feel more like New York City suburbs than they feel like "country", more so in Northern/Central Monroe and Southern Pike Counties. Accordingly, the resistance to newcomers is rather non-existent (nowadays). But what do you mean by "people a little different"?
Now semi-retired (wife is retired, husband is not but works from home,) having formerly been lifelong New Jerseyans, the places we looked to escape to ranged from New Hampshire to Florida. One deciding factor that brought us to the Poconos wasn't just "what place do we want to be at" but "what place wants us here." We are wanted here. My observation is that anyone who's a new asset to the community tends to be welcomed with open arms.
We have been seriously looking into moving to NEPA to spend the rest of our lives. We like the towns & surrounding forests, we like the climate, and the people we've met so far have been very nice. We hope to find a big chunk of land within 20-30 min of Milford, Honesdale, or Jim Thorpe. But here's our question: are locals open to befriending newcomers? Or does everyone just kind of do their own thing separately?
What leads us to this question is that we currently live in Harrisburg and have had an extremely hard time making friends since we moved here 7 years ago. I would have thought that our son going to an alternative (read:hippie) school and living in a neighborhood known for its sense of community would have provided us with many potential friends but that hasn't been the case. Everyone is friendly enough, but when we try to form deeper connections we get the feeling that people's lives are either too busy or too full for more friends. There is a feeling of closed-off-ness that seems to permeate social situations: people come, eat food, exchange pleasantries, and go home to get on with their lives. I can't tell if this is a problem with Central PA or just in general with the world now that social media is the main way people seem to communicate...
We have never had this problem before but in the past met people through work or school. Problem is, now we both work from home, are not religious or political, and we will most likely be homeschooling the kids when we move, so built-in avenues of befriending people are seriously lacking. We are very much DIYers and not afraid of reaching out to people or getting involved, but this constant subtle rejection has left us a little gun-shy. And because we want to put down roots wherever we move to next, we want to be sure we're welcome.
I'm originally from Chicago, my husband's from Maryland, and we lived a good chunk of our lives in LA. We're artists/musicians/techies/gamers/crafters/builders with VERY eclectic interests. My hope is that since the Poconos have many transplants from Philly & NYC that locals will be open to people a little different. But maybe we're just too weird for PA.
Anybody got any insights? Do any of the three towns (Milford, Honesdale, Jim Thorpe) seem like they would be a better fit for us?
Thanks in advance!!
I read your post and I saw myself in you. We are originally from NYS. We were attracted to NEPA because of it's natural beauty and relative proximity to NYC. The cost of living is low.
Yes. People are superficially friendly. However, if you are complining about a "closed off-ness" in Harrisburg, expect the same, or worse, in NEPA.
I have never experienced anything like this in my life. I know exactly what you are talking about - people exchange pleasantries, talk, eat and go home and go on with their lives. You discribed NEPA to a T.
They already have their friends and large extended families. There really not seeking new, meaningful friendships. In fact, I'll take that a step further - they are NOT INTERESTED in new friends. They are still friends with people who they went to HS with. In some cases, elementary school. They mostly do not go away to college, They attend locally. With people who they know.
Artists and musicians will have a hard time finding like minded people in NEPA. Are you a hunter? If so, you may meet some people, but they are not likely to ask you to go hunting with them. They are hunting with their relatives and friends from grade school.
We are not hunters, but hunting seems to be one of the main interests in the area,
People with eclectic interests will have a very hard time there.
You don't attend church? Well church is a major hobby in NEPA. Many people's lives center around church and church activities. We are members of a mainline denomination, and even though we attended church, volunteered quite a bit, and I served on the church counsel, I made only aquaintences. Not friends.
It's nothing personal. They already HAVE friends.
Honestly, NEPA is a horrible fit for you. Given that you homeschool and are not a church attender, you will especially feel isolated. However, even if you DID attend church, the people will accept your volunteer work, your cooking, your artistic talents - but they will not fully accept you.
We were invited to a few parties through church, that were not church related. I think we were invited out of social obligation. Relationships there NEVER go on to the next step.
I know people from NY who moved to Honesdale ten years ago. They still don't have any friends.
Jim Thorp is a cute little town, but it is notoriously insular. It's a pretty place to visit, especially in the Fall. While I have never lived their, I have heard enough to never want to live there.
Milford was one of the first places we checked out. Very pretty. Nice houses. But very, very insular. The best thing about Milford is it's proximity to NY. There is not much community there. The transplants there are happy with their large, relativly inexpensive homes. Some work in NJ or NY. so they have a reason to live there. Even the Real Estate broker we spooke to, warned us of this.
I really can not think of anyplace in NEPA that is open and warm towards outsides. The one casual friend we met lived out in the country, outside of Scranton.(can't think of the name) was originally from NYC and Westchester. She worked a lot and kept herself very busy with that and her horses. She was at first happy with the low cost of living and the abiity to keep her horse on her property. However, even that was not enough to sustain her. Her politics are quite conservative, but still, she was not accepted.
She moved last year to a college town in upstate NY and she already likes it better. She speant over a decade of her life in NEPA and she regrets it.
The Poconos are more transplant friendly, but they have their own set of problems. The property taxes there are very high, and people complain about gangs and crime.
Feel free to send me a direct message, if you want more information.
Being "Good People" will not change anything. Yes. They want people who are white, politically conservative,religious and conventional to move to the area. If you meet one or more of those criteria, they will be friendly.
I read your post and I saw myself in you. We are originally from NYS. We were attracted to NEPA because of it's natural beauty and relative proximity to NYC. The cost of living is low.
Yes. People are superficially friendly. However, if you are complining about a "closed off-ness" in Harrisburg, expect the same, or worse, in NEPA.
I have never experienced anything like this in my life. I know exactly what you are talking about - people exchange pleasantries, talk, eat and go home and go on with their lives. You discribed NEPA to a T.
They already have their friends and large extended families. There really not seeking new, meaningful friendships. In fact, I'll take that a step further - they are NOT INTERESTED in new friends. They are still friends with people who they went to HS with. In some cases, elementary school. They mostly do not go away to college, They attend locally. With people who they know.
Artists and musicians will have a hard time finding like minded people in NEPA. Are you a hunter? If so, you may meet some people, but they are not likely to ask you to go hunting with them. They are hunting with their relatives and friends from grade school.
We are not hunters, but hunting seems to be one of the main interests in the area,
People with eclectic interests will have a very hard time there.
You don't attend church? Well church is a major hobby in NEPA. Many people's lives center around church and church activities. We are members of a mainline denomination, and even though we attended church, volunteered quite a bit, and I served on the church counsel, I made only aquaintences. Not friends.
It's nothing personal. They already HAVE friends.
Honestly, NEPA is a horrible fit for you. Given that you homeschool and are not a church attender, you will especially feel isolated. However, even if you DID attend church, the people will accept your volunteer work, your cooking, your artistic talents - but they will not fully accept you.
We were invited to a few parties through church, that were not church related. I think we were invited out of social obligation. Relationships there NEVER go on to the next step.
I know people from NY who moved to Honesdale ten years ago. They still don't have any friends.
Jim Thorp is a cute little town, but it is notoriously insular. It's a pretty place to visit, especially in the Fall. While I have never lived their, I have heard enough to never want to live there.
Milford was one of the first places we checked out. Very pretty. Nice houses. But very, very insular. The best thing about Milford is it's proximity to NY. There is not much community there. The transplants there are happy with their large, relativly inexpensive homes. Some work in NJ or NY. so they have a reason to live there. Even the Real Estate broker we spooke to, warned us of this.
I really can not think of anyplace in NEPA that is open and warm towards outsides. The one casual friend we met lived out in the country, outside of Scranton.(can't think of the name) was originally from NYC and Westchester. She worked a lot and kept herself very busy with that and her horses. She was at first happy with the low cost of living and the abiity to keep her horse on her property. However, even that was not enough to sustain her. Her politics are quite conservative, but still, she was not accepted.
She moved last year to a college town in upstate NY and she already likes it better. She speant over a decade of her life in NEPA and she regrets it.
The Poconos are more transplant friendly, but they have their own set of problems. The property taxes there are very high, and people complain about gangs and crime.
Feel free to send me a direct message, if you want more information.
Being "Good People" will not change anything. Yes. They want people who are white, politically conservative,religious and conventional to move to the area. If you meet one or more of those criteria, they will be friendly.
However, they will NOT be your friends.
Yeah, besides the lousy colleges that only the (ignorant) locals attend, as Obama and Hillary said...the inbred, classless and tasteless deplorables just cling to their guns and Bibles.
We have had people that moved here and choose the wrong neighborhood. No matter where anybody moves; it only takes one bad neighbor to spoil anybody's experience. NEPA is a very large area. We have very diverse communities and some that are close knit. Sometimes even just a few houses apart can make all the difference in the world. Many of us recommend that people rent or vacation in our area first. Get some first hand experience. We also encourage anybody that plans on commuting to try that commute before they make a commitment (I know that the OP said they work from home).
We have other people that love our communities. We always loved our community and had no major problems. Plus I made enough to keep us out of debt. My area changed in my 71 years; but I have no complaints. I see wildlife every day.
I'm originally from Chicago, my husband's from Maryland, and we lived a good chunk of our lives in LA. We're artists/musicians/techies/gamers/crafters/builders with VERY eclectic interests. My hope is that since the Poconos have many transplants from Philly & NYC that locals will be open to people a little different. But maybe we're just too weird for PA.
Anybody got any insights? Do any of the three towns (Milford, Honesdale, Jim Thorpe) seem like they would be a better fit for us?
Thanks in advance!!
If you're intent on staying within the northeast, look into Brattleboro, VT. You will find many kindred spirits living there. There are reasonably priced homes on acreage across the Connecticut River in Cheshire County, NH. Acreage is hard to find in the Pocono area.
We have been seriously looking into moving to NEPA to spend the rest of our lives. We like the towns & surrounding forests, we like the climate, and the people we've met so far have been very nice. We hope to find a big chunk of land within 20-30 min of Milford, Honesdale, or Jim Thorpe. But here's our question: are locals open to befriending newcomers? Or does everyone just kind of do their own thing separately?
What leads us to this question is that we currently live in Harrisburg and have had an extremely hard time making friends since we moved here 7 years ago. I would have thought that our son going to an alternative (read:hippie) school and living in a neighborhood known for its sense of community would have provided us with many potential friends but that hasn't been the case. Everyone is friendly enough, but when we try to form deeper connections we get the feeling that people's lives are either too busy or too full for more friends. There is a feeling of closed-off-ness that seems to permeate social situations: people come, eat food, exchange pleasantries, and go home to get on with their lives. I can't tell if this is a problem with Central PA or just in general with the world now that social media is the main way people seem to communicate...
We have never had this problem before but in the past met people through work or school. Problem is, now we both work from home, are not religious or political, and we will most likely be homeschooling the kids when we move, so built-in avenues of befriending people are seriously lacking. We are very much DIYers and not afraid of reaching out to people or getting involved, but this constant subtle rejection has left us a little gun-shy. And because we want to put down roots wherever we move to next, we want to be sure we're welcome.
I'm originally from Chicago, my husband's from Maryland, and we lived a good chunk of our lives in LA. We're artists/musicians/techies/gamers/crafters/builders with VERY eclectic interests. My hope is that since the Poconos have many transplants from Philly & NYC that locals will be open to people a little different. But maybe we're just too weird for PA.
Anybody got any insights? Do any of the three towns (Milford, Honesdale, Jim Thorpe) seem like they would be a better fit for us?
Thanks in advance!!
Not sure about those towns. I live in north central PA, near Wellsboro. There are a lot of people (myself included) from other places that seem to fit in. Keep in mind those that grew up locally , whatever locality that is, will have a shared history no newcomer can have. Fact of life.
But I really don't understand what you want or expect. You homeschool, work at home, don't get involved in religious or political organizations. Seems like you're closing yourselves off which is fine if that's the lifestyle you want to live. It just seems like you want something inconsistent with that lifestyle.
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If You're "Good People", You're Wanted Here
