Move to DC...or Dulles? (Arlington, Alexandria: home, salary, living in)

[seiketsu]

So I've been living in the DC area for a while. I used to live in Reston, hated life, moved away from the area, and now I'm back and living in Alexandria. Love it, but figured I'd love living in DC proper even more. Less of a commute, more options for socializing (30-something black woman here). So I've been planning a move into the District.

MEANWHILE, a job opportunity near Dulles has fallen into my lap. I have a few weeks to make a decision. It would be a welcome career move, but are the social tradeoffs worth the cost?

My options, as I see them:

A) Accept the job. Continue my plans to move into the District. Have an awful commute, possibly hate life. But get lots of dates!
B) Accept the job. Move close by (probably Reston). Not want to shoot myself on the road every morning, but be faced with a more Stepfordish social scene, have limited dating options, etc. I'm kind of a homebody, and one thing I learned from my previous years in Reston is that I'm not at all inclined to leave my couch in the evening unless I have solid plans.
C) Accept the job. Move not-so-close by (Falls Church, Tysons Corner). Have a longish commute, be a distance from the city, but at least have Metro as an option for drunken nights out.
D) Forget the new job, move into DC. Continue my current job (nice but I've been doing it long enough that I'm just bored with it), look for jobs within the confines of Metro, etc.

Any thoughts?

[ChristineVA]

Well, you know that you dislike Reston and the surrounding areas, so I'd rule that out. I think, at first, it might be okay with the excitement of the new job. But in time, you'd be right back to where you started.

I don't like the idea of the commute in from DC to Dulles either and I'm not sure that the "midway" solution is going to be any better than Reston.

I will tell you--as an older person whose kids are leaving the nest, moving to DC also appeals to me but for different reasons. I am enjoying the vibe of the areas that are being redone and I would love to be close to my job. I'd probably get irritated by the lack of good grocery stores close to my home....

Anyway, unless your current job is soul-sucking and dead ended, I might choose to stay in it and move/live where you are happy. Of course, there's no guarantee you'd be happy.

[stateofnature]

Just how big of a unique career boost would this Dulles job be and how confident are you that you could eventually find something as good in DC proper or close to it?

[Middlin]

I guess I'm not understanding the correlation between actually living in DC and getting dates. Is Alexandria that undesireable as a geographic location to be dateable?

[PK12]

Originally Posted by Middlin

I guess I'm not understanding the correlation between actually living in DC and getting dates. Is Alexandria that undesireable as a geographic location to be dateable?

Agreed, it seems like the OP is driven more by the desire to improve her dating situation (which is perfectly fine) as oppposed to what the Dulles opportunity would mean for her career and what kind of salary raise it would entail, if it did (more important factors in my opinion, and I am pretty sure common sense would dictate that too)

I haven't had a ton of luck with dating in the DC area, largely attributed to myself, but from the few ladies that I went out on dates with, there were two that lived in Fairfax City and Centreville respectively, while I was living in Arlington at that time.

[PK12]

I agree that Reston is a little too far out from DC, but otherwise it's a really nice place to live and the Reston Town Center is really neat, with an active singles scene atleast by NoVa standards.

[tysonsengineer]

@OP

I dunno which you shoudl pick, but you should absolutely not make two massive choices in your life like that at the exact same time.

Either make the move to DC and keep working and see if your feeelings towards the job gets better because of the change in home life. Sometimes the commute and not being able to do some afterwork stuff with people around the office because you gotta go back home is the cause of not enjoying the work environment

Or

Take the new job, stay in Alexandria and see if the new job (even with the roughish... though also sort of reverse commute) might be something you wanna keep doing.

Either way, if you aren't happy after one of those choices, then continue with whatever your second decision is, but both at the same times just asking for it I think

[mptesta]

I would make the move to Dulles and take the job if it means a major career advancement. However if you have a skill set that will enable you to get the same type of career advancement later on in life, then focus on moving into DC and focus on your social life more. But in this economy, I would seriously consider "movin' on up" in your career when the opportunity presents itself vice holding off.

[seiketsu]

Thanks for wisdom and advice.

- This would be a change in career direction, more potential for higher salary / better job options in the future than in my current position. Hard to say whether I'd find similar in DC -- it was a matter of being in the right place at the right time (yay networking) than my actually seeking out this opportunity.

- There are more people in my dating demographic in DC than in either Alexandria or Dulles, but at least in Alexandria I can get into the city quite easily. I had terrible luck dating when I lived in Reston. That said, I posted not so long ago how surprised I was at the changes in Reston, so maybe living out that way wouldn't be so bleak this time?

- I don't LOVE my job but I'm okay with where I am professionally, so social life absolutely is my priority. I do not believe that a career makes up for not having anyone special to come home to. Especially now that most of my friends have their own families and limited time for me.

- I agree that it would be a good idea to make one choice at a time. If I were to take the job, I'd commute from Alexandria (30 miles and $$$ tolls - ouch!) at least for a couple of months. See how I do making friends out there. Then decide whether moving is worth it, actual location TBD.

[Middlin]

Well, it sounds like you answered your own question. At this point, your social life IS the most important. Funny, I lived Alexandria and worked in DC and got a unique job offer in Tysons. I took the job, moved to the Vienna area and then all my married friends started having kids and moved just down the street. After working there a year, I met my (now) husband at the office. IMO, you just need to keep moving forward, whether it's a job or location change.