Move to DC...or Dulles?

[PK12]

Originally Posted by seiketsu

Thanks for wisdom and advice.

- This would be a change in career direction, more potential for higher salary / better job options in the future than in my current position. Hard to say whether I'd find similar in DC -- it was a matter of being in the right place at the right time (yay networking) than my actually seeking out this opportunity.

- There are more people in my dating demographic in DC than in either Alexandria or Dulles, but at least in Alexandria I can get into the city quite easily. I had terrible luck dating when I lived in Reston. That said, I posted not so long ago how surprised I was at the changes in Reston, so maybe living out that way wouldn't be so bleak this time?

- I don't LOVE my job but I'm okay with where I am professionally, so social life absolutely is my priority. I do not believe that a career makes up for not having anyone special to come home to. Especially now that most of my friends have their own families and limited time for me.

- I agree that it would be a good idea to make one choice at a time. If I were to take the job, I'd commute from Alexandria (30 miles and $$$ tolls - ouch!) at least for a couple of months. See how I do making friends out there. Then decide whether moving is worth it, actual location TBD.

I’m not going to recommend to you that you should potentially expand outside of your preferred dating demographic since that is your personal choice, and that’s perfectly fine.

But you could still pursue the Dulles opportunity since it entails a higher pay/position and relocate to somewhat of a midpoint between DC and Dulles, such as the Mosaic area in Merrifield, or somewhere else in the Tysons area. …wont be a horrible commute to work, and a fairly decent commute to DC for nightlife/social events. These areas in themselves have a pretty good bar/restaurant scene.

Based on the text highlighted in bold, it sounds like you are looking to settle down/want a serious relationship… I do not understand how being able to get into and around DC will help you with that, unless you really think that meeting men at a bar/club has a high chance of leading to a serious relationship. Would it not be better to pursue that through other social events sponspored by meetup and other such groups that cater to folks of all demographics, all over the DMV area? Would the higher pay and career advancement not enable you to better save, invest, spend/splurge on social activities?

Sorry if this sounds out of line, but I will stand by my recommendation to consider this opportunity – other than that, its totally up to you and what your gut feeling tells you is the right thing to do.

Best of luck!

[Carlingtonian]

Take the job.

Has anyone mentioned that will be a reverse commute? Especially if you can work early hours.

You didn't say who you're open to dating; if you're willing to date outside your race, the world is your oyster. If you're not, then I would think DC will have more eligible men for you. But maybe Reston has successful black guys too. I've never been there, so I wouldn't know.

[tysonsengineer]

Originally Posted by Carlingtonian

Take the job.

Has anyone mentioned that will be a reverse commute? Especially if you can work early hours.

You didn't say who you're open to dating; if you're willing to date outside your race, the world is your oyster. If you're not, then I would think DC will have more eligible men for you. But maybe Reston has successful black guys too. I've never been there, so I wouldn't know.

Partial reverse commute, youd be surprised how much west bound traffic there is from inner suburbs to Tysons/Reston now.

[seiketsu]

Originally Posted by PK12

I’m not going to recommend to you that you should potentially expand outside of your preferred dating demographic since that is your personal choice, and that’s perfectly fine.

[...]

Based on the text highlighted in bold, it sounds like you are looking to settle down/want a serious relationship… I do not understand how being able to get into and around DC will help you with that, unless you really think that meeting men at a bar/club has a high chance of leading to a serious relationship. Would it not be better to pursue that through other social events sponspored by meetup and other such groups that cater to folks of all demographics, all over the DMV area? Would the higher pay and career advancement not enable you to better save, invest, spend/splurge on social activities?

Originally Posted by Carlingtonian

Take the job.

Has anyone mentioned that will be a reverse commute? Especially if you can work early hours.

You didn't say who you're open to dating; if you're willing to date outside your race, the world is your oyster. If you're not, then I would think DC will have more eligible men for you. But maybe Reston has successful black guys too. I've never been there, so I wouldn't know.

My dating options have very little to do with who I'm willing to date and everything to do with who is willing to date me. (Sorry if this sounds snarky -- very tired of people saying black women need to be willing to date outside their race when no one is telling white or other guys that they need to be willing to date black women. And by date I mean LTR / marriage, not just short-term hookups while they play Ethnic Bingo.)

Having access to all the social options in DC =/= meeting guys at the club. I'm too old for that! It's having a variety of interesting restaurants and cafes to frequent. It's having entertainment / music / theater / etc that doesn't require a 45-minute drive. It's the reality that most 30/40-something single guys are living in and near the District. But yes, it's ALSO the reality that the 30/40-something single guys who want the urban playground are the same guys who are in eternal adolescence and never really want to settle down. So there's that.

Looks like the best option might be taking the job, giving it at least a year or two, and using it as a springboard to options beyond the East Coast if life doesn't look grand. Thanks, y'all.

[seiketsu]

Originally Posted by Middlin

Funny, I lived Alexandria and worked in DC and got a unique job offer in Tysons.

Hee. So, update. Bypassed the Dulles job but ended up with a contract in Tysons Corner. The commute is...well, you know. I've been debating whether to move to Tysons, but I haven't found a place I like enough as my current digs. Apparently the neighborhood vibe matters more to me than a painless commute, larger apartment, and cheaper rent. Seriously, Tysons, is a decent yoga studio too much to ask for??

[FindingZen]

Originally Posted by seiketsu

Hee. So, update. Bypassed the Dulles job but ended up with a contract in Tysons Corner. The commute is...well, you know. I've been debating whether to move to Tysons, but I haven't found a place I like enough as my current digs. Apparently the neighborhood vibe matters more to me than a painless commute, larger apartment, and cheaper rent. Seriously, Tysons, is a decent yoga studio too much to ask for??

Thanks for the update!

With the Silver Line's arrival imminent and several apartment/condo projects rising in the area, I'd predict that some of the more urbanish amenities will start to arrive. Best to keep an eye out while on lunch break and such.