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When I lived in New York City, I used to hum the line from "New York, New York" - "if I can make it there, I can make it anywhere."
When I moved back to Fairfax County, I noticed that a lot of the office parks and buildings seemed pretty generic. I came up with a new line "if I could be anywhere, I can make it here." Worked for me.
If other things in your life are going well, it's a fine place to live with plenty of opportunities. If they aren't, there's plenty here to set you on edge.
I don't think I would have been very happy living in Fairfax in my early 20s (and it was a lot less crowded then than it is today). So I didn't - I lived in other states and cities instead and only returned to the burbs when Mrs. Jeb got fed up with city living (as only those who survived the Marion Barry era in DC can appreciate).
In my book, it's sad that there are so many people here now who really are only here now for jobs, and spend a lot of time obsessing over how they could have a better life somewhere else and assuming they could earn a similar or only slightly lower salary in the other location. Unfortunately, Fairfax happens to be the place where some have to come to terms with the fact that those ideal job/residence combinations don't always exist these days. Reality does bite sometimes, but you should try and make the best of it.
Best post ALL day!
I am also a "native" that left this area in my early 20s and didn't return until my late 20s. After being away and living in some smaller towns and then overseas, I was happy to come back. My career was stalled elsewhere.
I am 99% sure I could not earn what I earn or even be employable in my field in a smaller area. Wouldn't happen. That's my reality and that's why I stay.
None of the things that others have issues with here ever even hits my radar. That doesn't mean that I don't think they are true--everyone has their own perceptions, but I do start to believe I must be clueless when I read these "hate" threads.
Having said all that and read all of these negative experiences, I will agree that the area has changed so drastically since the 1990s, that, to me, it's not even the same place. I don't even know who to blame it on but I don't think it's the "natives" or locals. They are rare birds these days. I think it's a conglomeration of "Yanks", southerners, natives, west coasters, and Latinos that, for the life of them, cannot meld in to one community anymore. As far up as the 80s and 90s, it really wasn't all that transient.
I live in Woodbridge and it is SO different now from when I moved here in 1994. Back then, while no longer rural, it was still filled with good 'ole boys and pick up trucks. The redneck factor seems to be gone--probably farther south or to the west and the tone is completely different here now.
When I lived in New York City, I used to hum the line from "New York, New York" - "if I can make it there, I can make it anywhere."
When I moved back to Fairfax County, I noticed that a lot of the office parks and buildings seemed pretty generic. I came up with a new line "if I could be anywhere, I can make it here." Worked for me.
If other things in your life are going well, it's a fine place to live with plenty of opportunities. If they aren't, there's plenty here to set you on edge.
I don't think I would have been very happy living in Fairfax in my early 20s (and it was a lot less crowded then than it is today). So I didn't - I lived in other states and cities instead and only returned to the burbs when Mrs. Jeb got fed up with city living (as only those who survived the Marion Barry era in DC can appreciate).
In my book, it's sad that there are so many people here now who really are only here now for jobs, and spend a lot of time obsessing over how they could have a better life somewhere else and assuming they could earn a similar or only slightly lower salary in the other location. Unfortunately, Fairfax happens to be the place where some have to come to terms with the fact that those ideal job/residence combinations don't always exist these days. Reality does bite sometimes, but you should try and make the best of it.
I'm indeed the type you reference in your final paragraph, but in my defense I'm by far not the only one who still always wonders if the "grass is greener..." I'm starting to just try to make the best of things here. I'm going to work 70 hours a week now at two jobs to pay my bills. I've stopped tailgating the "left-lane lolly-gaggers" and just go with the flow in the right-hand lane now.
I'm not the only one who moved here purely for a job, though. Times are different. We've been in a recession for what feels like practically a decade now, and some people, like me, were frightened by the prospect of being underemployed, so we graciously accepted the first career opportunity we were offered that was commensurate with our qualifications, regardless of the location, out of fear that nothing else would turn up.
I understand the way "market forces" work and that while it's a crying shame there is very little "lower-middle-class" housing available in desirable places like Arlington County for those of us "squeezed" (too rich for subsidized housing yet too poor for "market-rate") I also don't believe I should have a "right" to housing there. Nobody "owes" me that. However, Arlington will sadly continue to become a place for the rich or the poor exclusively, especially as the Columbia Pike Corridor, one of the last remaining areas of the county with an abundance of relatively affordable rents, continues to gentrify and "yuppify" itself in the coming years.
I just worry sometimes I'll look back on my early-to-mid-20s and feel "jipped" by living in Fairfax County the way I feel like I was "jipped" having grown up in the suburbs in a household in which both parents worked, leaving me home alone and unable to get anywhere on my own (breeding me into the boring drone I am today as I constantly read and researched). This is why I'm biting the bullet in May 2011, finally, and am getting roommates to live in Arlington. It's finally worth it to me.
I just worry sometimes I'll look back on my early-to-mid-20s and feel "jipped" by living in Fairfax County the way I feel like I was "jipped" having grown up in the suburbs in a household in which both parents worked, leaving me home alone and unable to get anywhere on my own (breeding me into the boring drone I am today as I constantly read and researched). This is why I'm biting the bullet in May 2011, finally, and am getting roommates to live in Arlington. It's finally worth it to me.
RR,
I don't think you'll feel jipped. I think what you are doing now, even though you aren't overly happy, is going to give you invaluable experience and insight many years down the road. I think this is good experience for you.
As I said earlier, I am a native here and when I was very young, before I moved out of state and out of the country, I took a low-level job in the government--basically a clerk. But you know what, to people outside this area, they were very impressed with that. When I went out of state and applied for other office-type work, I had experience that looked better (and was better) than many of my peers. While these people were very smart, their exposure to different levels of a corporation was nil. It was like they worked under a mushroom. I found that even in the remote areas, I was getting jobs and one thing always mentioned was that they were impressed with the DC "government" experience.
Times have changed and perceptions have changed and this might not work today but the things I did here early on in my career made a huge difference when I left.
As far as what you've experienced in your living situation and your many disappointments--while they SUCK, these experiences will absolutely get your head on properly down the road. Living in an area like this is not for everyone but I think it is good for you that you have lived it, are learning from it, and apparently are adapting. That doesn't mean you have to love it or make it your own, but you are certainly getting to know yourself!
My family moved here near the top of the housing bubble. It was insane to try to secure a home for rent. Many people, particularly moms, were *giddy*, elitist, and vicious. It was UGLY.
I do think there are some pleasant areas to live here. There was a gorgeous, serene Frank Lloyd Wright style home tucked in 5 acres of woods for sale in Clifton. That might have persuaded me.
Don't let anyone talk you out of moving to Arlington, and make sure you're near the Metro. Arlington can have it's own version of the exburbs if you aren't careful. It will be one of the best moves of your life.
Edit: not if you want to get away from the fast pace. I'm just saying that if you want to meet single people and go to bars, enjoy the lifestyle that young people do. My time in Arlington and DC would be hard to trade.
I'm specifically targeting North Arlington neighborhoods that would be within a 40-minute walk of a Metrorail station (still somewhat close, yet just far enough away to have rents that I could swing with a roomie). I'm interested in places like Cherrydale, Waverly Hills, Lee Heights, Lyon Village, Williamsburg, Yorktown, Westover, East Falls Church, etc. I'd stay in great shape with all those hills, too! I'm hoping I might even be able to just find an efficiency basement in a single-family home here with its own bathroom and kitchenette for an affordable price, but that may be a stretch. I know these neighborhoods seem much more "exurban" than the immediate Ballston/Rosslyn Corridor, but I really don't think I could comfortably afford most 2-BR apartments right on the Orange Line, even with a roomie. I'd be in the same situation I am right now financially.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChristineVA
Best post ALL day!
I am also a "native" that left this area in my early 20s and didn't return until my late 20s. After being away and living in some smaller towns and then overseas, I was happy to come back. My career was stalled elsewhere.
I am 99% sure I could not earn what I earn or even be employable in my field in a smaller area. Wouldn't happen. That's my reality and that's why I stay.
None of the things that others have issues with here ever even hits my radar. That doesn't mean that I don't think they are true--everyone has their own perceptions, but I do start to believe I must be clueless when I read these "hate" threads.
Having said all that and read all of these negative experiences, I will agree that the area has changed so drastically since the 1990s, that, to me, it's not even the same place. I don't even know who to blame it on but I don't think it's the "natives" or locals. They are rare birds these days. I think it's a conglomeration of "Yanks", southerners, natives, west coasters, and Latinos that, for the life of them, cannot meld in to one community anymore. As far up as the 80s and 90s, it really wasn't all that transient.
I live in Woodbridge and it is SO different now from when I moved here in 1994. Back then, while no longer rural, it was still filled with good 'ole boys and pick up trucks. The redneck factor seems to be gone--probably farther south or to the west and the tone is completely different here now.
As I said it's all just a matter of perspective in the end. To you having upward career mobility is very important. For me? Not so much. I don't crave driving a luxury car, taking exotic vacations, having the latest gadgets, etc. As long as I can pay my basic bills I'm happy. Fairfax County indeed attracts a disproportionately high number of people lured here for work and work alone, and that's when you get those like me who begin to sputter out after 1-3 years because we realize we're living to work instead of working to live.
I also agree you can't pinpoint any one specific group for the drastic change in the structure of the area. I've met more fellow Pennsylvania transplants here than any other state (especially from the Pittsburgh area), but I've seen nearly all 50 states represented here via license plates since moving to Reston. I've also met a half-dozen Californians and roughly a dozen Puerto Ricans.
P.S. This isn't a "hate" thread. The other one was. It was closed. However, I saw some valid replies in there that I wanted to touch upon and was not able to before that thread was given the ax, hence why I started this one to let people speak freely without thread closure. So far so good, except for one reply. I don't "hate" this place. I'm very disappointed that my early-20s have gone to waste in Reston, but I'm going to correct that next year.
I spent too much time in a South Arlington duplex. My wife's specifically asked me not to get into the details -- no, it wasn't anything bad I did. We just didn't pursue passions the way we might've elsewhere.
Agree. If restonrunner feels like he was gypped, he probably was. Everyone knows the feeling. It's that hollowness inside, and what you're thinking about when you wake up in the middle of the night. If a person feels like they're missing something in life, they probably are. It's critical that they find out what it is and do something about it while they can. Too many women find out that they wanted to have children, for example.
Having lived both the urban lifestyle and the suburban, I can say that for many, the lights just turn on in your life in urbania. People go to lunch with you, you're having beers after work, you're getting party invites, you wish you could divide so that you could spend time with more friends. In exburbia, people are afraid. Going to lunch is pushing their comfort zone, and out at night is a big risk. They don't want to talk on the phone, just by e-mail. Ok, I'll stop.
It's sad that people can live such different lives. There's a happy world out there for restonrunner, and I'm glad that he has the courage to pursue it.
Agree. If restonrunner feels like he was gypped, he probably was. Everyone knows the feeling. It's that hollowness inside, and what you're thinking about when you wake up in the middle of the night. If a person feels like they're missing something in life, they probably are. It's critical that they find out what it is and do something about it while they can. Too many women find out that they wanted to have children, for example.
Having lived both the urban lifestyle and the suburban, I can say that for many, the lights just turn on in your life in urbania. People go to lunch with you, you're having beers after work, you're getting party invites, you wish you could divide so that you could spend time with more friends. In exburbia, people are afraid. Going to lunch is pushing their comfort zone, and out at night is a big risk. They don't want to talk on the phone, just by e-mail. Ok, I'll stop.
It's sad that people can live such different lives. There's a happy world out there for restonrunner, and I'm glad that he has the courage to pursue it.
Your middle paragraph really rings true to me. Granted, though, there are some exceptions in the suburbs/exurbs here. For example, CDMurphy champions her Barmbleton neighborhood as being a place where neighbors really seem to look out for neighbors and where everyone wants to get to know everyone. That's the environment I seek. Here in Reston I only experienced camaraderie and neighborliness during the blizzards in February when everyone had nothing better to do and nowhere else to go beyond standing in the middle of the parking lot scratching their heads wondering how a place this far South got three feet of snow. I shoveled out roughly 8 vehicles for people whom I didn't even know just to be "nice." One came out and offered me an extra gallon of milk she had purchased when I mentioned I had walked over to the nearby Harris Teeter, and they were sold out. Another came out with a slice of hot pizza and an ice cold beer, figuring I'd be hungry (I also think he had an "interest" in me, but my gaydar has never been all that good). I met roughly a dozen people that day, and we all felt a strangely intense bond to one another as we fawned over one another's toddlers and dogs. I hadn't experienced "neighborliness" like that before the blizzards, and I probably won't again until we get more blizzards (fingers crossed) this upcoming winter.
I wouldn't necessarily consider the suburbs to be "boring", though. It's shocking to me that Reston, DC's largest suburb outside the Beltway, doesn't even have a single night club due to its weird "crunchy" yet conservative nature, but I did enjoy renting a kayak at Lake Anne for only $6/hr., which was much cheaper than I paid at the Thompson Boat Center in Georgetown. It's a royal shame 90% of the businesses are soulless corporate chains, but the few independent businesses we do have in Reston (i.e. Cafesano, Mama Wok, Reston Used Book Store, Kalypso, Wine Cabinet, etc.) are very nice to have. You can go ice-skating in the middle of our fake..errr..."faux" downtown in the winter or get some fresh produce at one of two different farmers' markets. For all the complaints I have lodged against Reston "boredom" is not one of them. It's mostly the orientation of the community towards families and upper-middle-class DINKs that irks me as a single young lower-middle-class professional who either has no interest in the "family" stuff or can't afford the "DINK" stuff.
For me my major frustration with Fairfax County is just that you need to have your car chained to your hip at all times. Beyond Georgetown, which is interminably congested, I actually find most surface streets in Fairfax County to be more clogged, on average, than surface streets in DC and Arlington. However, any initiative to correct this is fought tooth-and-nail by the NIMBYs who live here, so it's like they're masochists who'd rather complain about the traffic than accept solutions. I'll never understand how someone can simultaneously say "traffic sucks" AND "Expanding Metrorail is a boondoggle", but such is the case with the Reston NIMBYs, none of whom have any better solutions to offer.
Agree. If restonrunner feels like he was gypped, he probably was. Everyone knows the feeling. It's that hollowness inside, and what you're thinking about when you wake up in the middle of the night. If a person feels like they're missing something in life, they probably are. It's critical that they find out what it is and do something about it while they can. Too many women find out that they wanted to have children, for example.
Having lived both the urban lifestyle and the suburban, I can say that for many, the lights just turn on in your life in urbania. People go to lunch with you, you're having beers after work, you're getting party invites, you wish you could divide so that you could spend time with more friends. In exburbia, people are afraid. Going to lunch is pushing their comfort zone, and out at night is a big risk. They don't want to talk on the phone, just by e-mail. Ok, I'll stop.
It's sad that people can live such different lives. There's a happy world out there for restonrunner, and I'm glad that he has the courage to pursue it.
Actually -- my life became better in suburbia (Vienna to be precise.) I "kept it real" in a park of Arlington blissfully untouched by gentrification.
Not having a furnace in the basment that was chugging out carbon monoxide helps.
It also helps having neighbors that talk to us for reasons other than demanding we move our car (all the public spots near me were taken, so I parked halfway down the road in front of these people) or trying to bum money off of us.
Room for Rent for Nudist Household (http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/roo/1949127237.html - broken link)
Think I just found my place!
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Wanted to add...
I'm hoping I might even be able to just find an efficiency basement in a single-family home here with its own bathroom and kitchenette for an affordable price, but that may be a stretch. I know these neighborhoods seem much more "exurban" than the immediate Ballston/Rosslyn Corridor, but I really don't think I could comfortably afford most 2-BR apartments right on the Orange Line, even with a roomie. I'd be in the same situation I am right now financially.
I met roughly a dozen people that day, and we all felt a strangely intense bond to one another as we fawned over one another's toddlers and dogs. I hadn't experienced "neighborliness" like that before the blizzards, and I probably won't again until we get more blizzards (fingers crossed) this upcoming winter. 
I'll never understand how someone can simultaneously say "traffic sucks" AND "Expanding Metrorail is a boondoggle", but such is the case with the Reston NIMBYs, none of whom have any better solutions to offer.
