northern virginia vs new jersey (Alexandria, Reston: credit, townhouse, neighborhood)

[normie]

Originally Posted by FairfaxGuy73

What part of town do you live in here? In at Arlington can be ok, and far west out in Loudoun. Mostly people are just about unbearable until you get into an environment that filters them out.

If I recall correctly, I think she lives in Sterling. Or maybe nearby. I agree that the people I've met in Sterling seem very pleasant, intelligent, and friendly. I've had some good conversations while waiting in line at the grocery store there. I'm not sure I'd call that "far west out in Loudoun" but maybe it seems that way to people who live closer to DC.

[Margery]

I moved to Sterling (Cascades) in 1992 and we downsized in 2004 and moved to a 55+ condo in Sterling (Lowes Island). Lovely people everywhere I have lived or maybe it is my attitude, I am a very friendly person, born and raised on a farm in West Virginia. I have all my teeth, both legs are the same length, and my husband and I are not blood relatives. (I thought I'd address most of the stereotypes up front.)

[normie]

Originally Posted by Margery

I am a very friendly person

That's why everywhere you move, you meet other friendly people. Friendly people attract other friendly people. It's one of those things you can sense about another person when you stand next to them in line.

Like attracts like--which means friendly people tend to talk to other friendly people, intelligent people tend to talk to other intelligent people, hysterical people attract other hysterical people, etc. etc.

[returning home]

Originally Posted by car54

I'd rather pay the car tax than pay for car insurance in Jersey, which has the highest rates in the ENTIRE COUNTRY! Friends up there tell me what they pay and it's absolutely ridiculous.

True, true. When I moved to NOVA from NJ my car insurance and personal property tax on my car were LESS than just the NJ insurance. Perfectly clean record too!!

[Nancy in Nokomis]

JEB77 - never thought of it that way - you are exactly right!
Normie - I AM friendly - I will even meet you for coffee - PM me.
I guess I just miss the "realness" of Jersey. I am one of those people who dont act fake - I am an open book - cant stand the fakeness of this area - I am sorry - that is just the way I see it and I have been here 6 years now -I have made some friends but not as many as I would have liked

Just letting the OP know that people are different here than in Jersey

[stpickrell]

Originally Posted by Fairfax Mom

JEB77 - never thought of it that way - you are exactly right!
Normie - I AM friendly - I will even meet you for coffee - PM me.
I guess I just miss the "realness" of Jersey. I am one of those people who dont act fake - I am an open book - cant stand the fakeness of this area - I am sorry - that is just the way I see it and I have been here 6 years now -I have made some friends but not as many as I would have liked

Just letting the OP know that people are different here than in Jersey

I'm assuming your conversation isn't dominated by "how much fun it was in Jersey" and/or "how horrible it is here." That'll turn off potential friends real quickly.

[JD984]

Originally Posted by stpickrell

I'm assuming your conversation isn't dominated by "how much fun it was in Jersey" and/or "how horrible it is here." That'll turn off potential friends real quickly.

I am guessing that's not the case, and that what drives Fairfax Mom somewhat crazy is a sense that people here are more likely than where she used to live in Jersey to:

Watch what they say;

Size up what other people have to say before they say anything;

Echo what other people have to say when they finally say something;

Arch their brow/crinkle their nose when someone says something that doesn't echo what other people have already said;

Etc., etc.

Maybe that's an exaggeration, but if that's how you perceive social interactions in this area, you tend to internalize it and become self-conscious, and it takes some of the fun out of socializing. Eventually you find some friends with whom you can let loose, but it doesn't mean that you don't miss being around more folks who from the get-go didn't seem so judgmental.

I'm also sure that there are plenty of folks/posters who don't have that experience, because they either don't care or don't notice how others may perceive them, and aren't the least bit self-conscious. I should add that it's not as if everyone from Jersey is cut from exactly the same cloth, but in general people feel a bit more liberty to speak their minds, have a second helping, etc.

[normie]

I think JEB nailed it. Fairfax Mom, thanks for the invite but this winter I'm recovering from a severe infection and I'm not allowed to meet up with people (and probably won't be for many months to come; I'm not even supposed to go on my walks right now. ). Have you tried any meetup groups?

[South Jersey Styx]

Have to agree with the posters who wonder where all this "super-friendliness" is coming from in NoVA? I do agree that parts of Ashburn-Leesburg and onward west--the people are far friendlier.

Originally Posted by JEB77

My take on NoVa is, and will remain, that people are friendly enough, but it takes a while. People come from all over the country, if not the world, to live here, and they don't necessarily know whether, and if so how, others want to reciprocate with them. So, as opposed to a big "melting pot," you get a "freezing pot" of people who are a bit cautious in their social interactions.

Describing a "freeezing pot" = cold and brusque approaches is not very inviting to a newcomer.

In Jersey, you're somewhat more likely to be surrounded by folks who just let it rip and don't worry about whether others approve of their behavior.

Yeah, it's called honesty.

[JD984]

Originally Posted by South Jersey Styx

Describing a "freezing pot" = cold and brusque approaches is not very inviting to a newcomer.

I don't think C-D posters have to function as a 24-hour, non-stop welcoming committee. Nor do I think people here are necessarily "cold and brusque," but compared to other places I've lived they are a bit more tentative.

Originally Posted by South Jersey Styx

Yeah, it's called honesty.

Well, you could call it lots of things. But I think it's largely a function of (1) Jersey having more communities that were well-established before people from all over the country or globe started pouring into them, and (2) how cosmopolitan our area literally is right now.

I'm not sure that it's the worst thing in the world that when a group of people originally from, say, L.A., Waco, Reston, Pittsburgh, India and Korea get together, they size each other up a bit before sharing their unvarnished opinions.