Fredericksburg to NYC homesickness (Orange: rent, live in, price)

[Alicia Bradley]

I would love to move to to Fredericksburg (the 'City of' part)... so I sorta know what you mean. Stuck in yucky NoVA proper, though.

[South Jersey Styx]

My daughter grew up in NoVA but went to NYC for college. We got an apt for her in Brooklyn (warehouse district) and it was great. but upon graduation, her best job opps were here in the DC-area.

We lived in the suburbs in loudoun co and moved out to Winchester. She prefers Winchester over NYC. she still visits nyc often b/c she has friends fr college there. We just prefer living in va.

"Home is where you hang your hat."

[NOVA_almost_native]

SonicYouth, of course it's OK. I admire you for knowing what's right for you and taking steps toward doing it, especially because it isn't the "cool" thing to do. It doesn't matter what most other people your age would do or want; it matters what you want.

I am ten years older than you, so it's probably more "acceptable" for me to admit that I am 100 percent suburbanite. I find NYC exciting to visit (and I was born there, so it's in my blood, in a way), but I couldn't live there for long. I need quiet and space.

[saganista]

There isn't really much sense to trying to live any part of your life as a stereotype. There may be some statistical median or standard in preferences or attitudes for your particular demographic group, but there is nobody in that group who isn't most significantly defined by his or her differences from that norm. Life may seem long when you're in your 20's, but it goes by quickly. There isn't actually enough time to be wasting much of it doing things you don't like to do, and that includes living where you don't feel like you belong. If happiness is a warm gun, set about finding a warm gun.

[FLgirl367]

You mean to say not all 20 somethings enjoy the hipster lifestyle. Of course it is ok that you don't like it. Whenever I grew tired of where I was living I moved. One thing I've learned is that every place has its positives and negatives. Enjoy what is there while you are there, but that doesn't mean you have to stay.
Just for fun:

YouTube - ‪Hipster Olympics‬‏

[loveautumn]

well, I'm lots older than you but I lived in NYC when I was your age (for 5 years or so) and then I was over it. Never been back. There really is no future there unless you have big $$$. I love the 'burbs

I think it's great that you realize where "home" is and where you are better off. and DC has plenty going on so it's not like you're far away from a major city.

Be happy!

[Alicia Bradley]

It would be funny if the NYer who was considering a move to Fredericksburg actually ended up there. She and OP could compare notes. (Wouldn't be quite like trading places, but still interesting!)

[steven r.]

Born and raised in Putnam/Westchester New York and now live in Orange Virginia. I know how ya feel,

[mcleanexec]

Originally Posted by SonicYouth

Hi, I'm just looking for some affirmation that I'm not insane. I grew up in Fredericksburg and graduated from Mary Washington, so I spent the first 22 years of my life there. After graduation, my girlfriend and I decided to move to Brooklyn, pretty much just for the hell of it. It felt like the thing to do, and once we visited, it was confirmed. Everything within walking distance, the hustle and bustle, arts, it was New York.

It's been almost two years now, and I miss VA so badly. Not just Fredericksburg, but Nova and DC as well. I miss driving and highway, miss box stores, miss parking lots, miss subdivisions and houses with basements and yards. I miss the whole suburban lifestyle that I knew. As you can imagine, the in your face culture of NYC gets extremely tiresome and it is very different from what I was used to. I feel like I've been exiled from my homeland.

I just feel like a bad early 20-something, like I should be all into NYC and the whole exciting culture. But now I'm just sick of it, and want a nice suburban life. I'll be applying to grad schools this fall/winter and plan on moving in the fall of 2012. I cannot wait, and want to return to either VA or Raleigh, NC (where my girlfriend is from and reminds me a lot of Nova).

Can someone please tell me that it's okay to listen to my feelings instead of forcing a square peg into a round hole? (which is very much what I feel like I'm doing). Saying you prefer Fredericksburg and I-95 to NYC and Fifth Avenue is pretty much sacrilege at my age...so basically, I'm just looking for any reassurance that it's okay to love Virginia and be homesick for it even after two years.

Huge culture change to go from Fredricksburg to NYC. Big city living to country suburia. I work in NYC a few times a year. NYC is in your face, NOVA not so much. I suggest rewatching seasons 1-3 of the Sopranos.

[ChristineVA]

There's nothing wrong with what you're feeling. You just don't like that lifestyle.

I do want to give you a "caution" though: Sometimes when we go to places that truly make us feel a "fish out of water", we can overglamorize home. While you miss some things from home, you may come back an in a year's time, get really annoyed with some of the positives that you describe. We tend to forget about the negative aspects when we are somewhere else. Just be prepared for that.