Should I get upset or mad about this? (Winchester: move to, to eat)

[The Dissenter]

Originally Posted by TechRider

OK..so it just happened that y'day we went to cafeteria to have lunch. We were 4 of them and no table (and sofas) that fit all of us.

I saw a lady, finished her lunch ( she wrapped up everything) and reading a Novel. Well, I understand, she has a right to sit there and do whatever she wants, but c'mon it is a cafeteria.
If she was with her friends having a chat even after lunch, I would be okay with that..but the fact that she was alone, finished her lunch and it did'nt occur to her that she is occupying a 4-seater and not letting anyone use the place.

I understand there isn't anything anyone could do. I guess it has to come from the individual itself.

Same thing in McDonalds or burger king etc.

I would (or have) never do such a thing. If I have to a take 4-seater because there are no 2 seaters available, I would move out as soon as I am done. (Though I don't have a habit of reading, I could still play angry birds sitting there)

Sorry..no intention to offend anyone, am just putting up my rants.

Did it occur to you to ask her if she was using the spot?

I dont think you have a right to be upset.

[TechRider]

Originally Posted by Alanboy395

Did it occur to you to ask her if she was using the spot?

I dont think you have a right to be upset.

What do you mean by if she was using the spot..she was sitting there..so I would assume she is infact using the spot.


I don't agree with you that I have no right to be upset. I certainly have a right to feel good or bad about anything I see or feel on this planet..enforcing my feelings on others is not something I can do, that I understand. (And that is one of the reason we didn't ask her anything other than waiting there..luckily a nearby table was vacated and we seated)

[JD984]

Originally Posted by TechRider

What do you mean by if she was using the spot..she was sitting there..so I would assume she is infact using the spot.


I don't agree with you that I have no right to be upset. I certainly have a right to feel good or bad about anything I see or feel on this planet..enforcing my feelings on others is not something I can do, that I understand. (And that is one of the reason we didn't ask her anything other than waiting there..luckily a nearby table was vacated and we seated)

You vented on a public forum, so you have to expect some people will react differently to your scenario than others.

This is a crowded area, and people can inconvenience one another in all sorts of ways that are both intentional and inadvertent. Case in point: I was standing on a jam-packed Metro car last week when a woman who was seated nearby tapped me on the arm, scowled, and told me that my shoulder bag had hit her four times. I apologized profusely, smiled, and then told her if she'd waited one more time I'd have given her a discount.

Had I been inconsiderate? Clearly, in the literal sense of the word. Had I been looking to inflict physical pain or suffering on a fellow Metro rider? Clearly not. Could she have spoken earlier or in a more pleasant tone of voice? Certainly I thought so, but then she might not have enjoyed her passive-aggressive tour de force quite so much.

In your case, there was an easy solution - you could have politely asked the woman "will you be leaving shortly" if it really mattered to you.

[car54]

It probably didn't even enter her mind to vacate the space after she was finished eating.

It's all about ME, ME, ME!

Just this morning I was picking up some kids (I drive a school bus) on a winding 2-lane country road and as I was greeting my students I heard an engine racing and some serious gears being shifted. I looked in the mirror and this clown was passing the 8 or 9 cars behind me and my bus....on a double solid yellow line and ON A CURVE. I estimate he was running at least 50 mph (in a 35) as he went by the bus. Fortunately, my patrol is excellent and he got the boarding students out of the way in time.

The hell with me and my 40 or so young charges....we were between him and his damned cubicle!

[katyusha25]

Originally Posted by TechRider

I don't agree with you that I have no right to be upset.

But...but...but...the title of this exact thread asks if you should be mad or upset about it...if you don't like answers that differ from yours, maybe you shouldn't ask?

[The Dissenter]

Originally Posted by car54

It probably didn't even enter her mind to vacate the space after she was finished eating.

It's all about ME, ME, ME!

Could it not have entered your mind, that she wasn't paying much attention to things outside of her book and may not have known what she was doing keeping a 4 seater for herself? That is more likely the case and not that she is inherently selfish.

After I eat lunch, I'm usually full in with my blackberry or a textbook and not paying attention to anything else. Now if someone else wants my seat for a reason I'll oblige provided they arent a punk about it.

[The Dissenter]

Originally Posted by katyusha25

But...but...but...the title of this exact thread asks if you should be mad or upset about it...if you don't like answers that differ from yours, maybe you shouldn't ask?

Word, if you can't take the heat don't go to the kitchen.

[Carlingtonian]

TechRider, I think you had every right to be annoyed. It's common sense not to sit there with a book in a crowded cafeteria. How could she not notice people hovering about with trays of food? Helloooo!?

Next time you go (or even before then) you could ask the management to post signs asking people to vacate tables when done eating, or to ask people in person to make space.

[TechRider]

Originally Posted by Alanboy395

Word, if you can't take the heat don't go to the kitchen.

It is difficult to not to go kitchen..it has been more than a decade..these kind of things never stop me from going to kitchen again

[TechRider]

Originally Posted by JEB77

You vented on a public forum, so you have to expect some people will react differently to your scenario than others.

This is a crowded area, and people can inconvenience one another in all sorts of ways that are both intentional and inadvertent. Case in point: I was standing on a jam-packed Metro car last week when a woman who was seated nearby tapped me on the arm, scowled, and told me that my shoulder bag had hit her four times. I apologized profusely, smiled, and then told her if she'd waited one more time I'd have given her a discount.

Had I been inconsiderate? Clearly, in the literal sense of the word. Had I been looking to inflict physical pain or suffering on a fellow Metro rider? Clearly not. Could she have spoken earlier or in a more pleasant tone of voice? Certainly I thought so, but then she might not have enjoyed her passive-aggressive tour de force quite so much.

In your case, there was an easy solution - you could have politely asked the woman "will you be leaving shortly" if it really mattered to you.

Originally Posted by katyusha25

But...but...but...the title of this exact thread asks if you should be mad or upset about it...if you don't like answers that differ from yours, maybe you shouldn't ask?

I agree with both of you..It is a public forum and I am certainly not expecting people to post things that I want to read.

My original intent to was to get the degree or measure of how mad/upset should I be or shouldn't be at all.


I am not sure if general public see a difference between,

"You should not get mad"

vs

"You have no right to get mad"

I thought they both are different and I was responding to later statement

PS: Alanboy..I don't/didn't mean(t) to put you on spot nor offend you.

BTW, I just had a fish sandwich from our kitchen..and right now I feel like a tsunami in my belly..(Will never eat that again)