Anyone up for a "Nonconformist Moms" group in Ashburn? :D (Manassas: fit in, HOA)

[Rainrad2002]

Hello everyone,

We are about to relocate to Ashburn after living out of the country for 15 years, and would love to find some other people who are not the typical "soccer mom" as I am not one. I think living away for so long has changed my outlook on what a Mom is, and my children fit into my life ... but as important and wonderful as they are not my entire world.

There are no "baby on board" signs in my car, I despise minivans and huge diaper bags with bears or winnie the pooh on them, and my kids will pick one or two activities to do during the week and that is it. None of this running around like a lunatic every day hurrying from thing to thing eating dinner in the car, my kids have lots of time to play in the back yard and be silly. And there are more interesting things to talk about besides kids, schools, house renovations etc.

Basically, I refuse to loose my identity just because I decided to have kids and I know there are others around like me but we are by far the minority (especially in Ashburn). Don't get me wrong, I ADORE my 3 children, they are the most wonderful little people. But I am still the same woman I was years ago and have interests that do not always involve kids.

I really really hope I am not the only one, and I am worried that I will have trouble finding other like-minded people. I don't want to be buried alive under the whole "I don't have a name, I am so and so's Mom" illness that seems to be so widespread. I am certainly not saying that is a bad thing, everyone is different and has every right to be a soccer mom if that is what they enjoy. I know many people who LOVE being a soccer mom and all the stuff that goes with it, that just isn't me though.

Are there any other Moms around in Ashburn/Sterling who are Non-soccer Moms?

Lorraine

[slduvall]

I don't live in Ashburn...but I wish you would move to my neighborhood. I'm surrounded by them! No offense to the soccer moms out there. We do activities...but my kid is on my schedule, not the other way around.

[normie]

I'd put a note up in the community gym. Ashburn's HOA has a pretty good newsletter, they'd probably let you put a notice in there too. That's how I put my walking group together.

A lot of the "nonconformist moms" in my community belong to a very active "green living" group. If AAshburn has a group like that, you might try going to a few meetings and seeing if you meet some likeminded moms.

Welcome to Nova. And don't worry, even though there are tons of soccer moms here you'll find people who aren't into that lifestyle, too. We have a little bit of everything here.

[Yankeesfan]

With that kind of condescending attitude toward women you haven't met yet, stereotyping an entire gender and not intending to look beyond the outer label of "Mom," maybe you should indeed be worried. Maybe people begin a relationship as "so-and-so's Mom" because that's the situation you're meeting them in (school, playground, sports) but if you bother to get to know them by talking about other things rather than writing them off, you'll find that many of them are as interesting as you find yourself to be.

[RVA-Jsn20]

Power to you rainrad. This is the 21st Century, time for the men to start picking up slack when it comes to taking care of kids, just as women picked up doing work back in the '40s.

[SweetAsRain]

RainRad, i've been looking for people like you too. I'm in Manassas, and surrounded by the soccer moms. They are nice, but I have nothing in common with them!

[springfieldva]

So the choice is to be a "Soccer Mom" or a "Nonconformist Mom?" Hmmmm....

In my experience, there just aren't that many purely one dimensional people in this area. Most moms (parents) are a their own unique morph of Soccer Mom (Dad)/Nonconformist Mom (Dad).

We love our kids/love doing things with our kids and have many outside interests/talents/desires as well.

[Caladium]

Originally Posted by springfieldva

In my experience, there just aren't that many purely one dimensional people in this area. Most moms (parents) are a their own unique morph of Soccer Mom (Dads)/Nonconformist Mom (Dads).

I totally agree. I get what the OP was trying to say, but maybe it was phrased a little awkwardly (that's ok, I do the same thing. )

I'm not sure if you'd call me a soccer mom, although I feel like a typical mom (if there is such a thing). I'm not at all interested in soccer or any other sports. I'm into getting a sitter and going to the theater and restaurants. I have activities that I do apart from my family, and I'm involved with a political group. Sometimes I even go out to a bar on my own (I like trivia night, but nobody else does). I also spend a lot of time doing things with the kids.

I don't have a lot of free time, but when I do I often hang out with the other people on my street, without worrying about how likeminded we may be.

So does this make me a nonconformist mom or a conformist mom? What about my neighbors, are they conformist or not? Who knows? To be honest, I'm a busy mom -- I don't have time to care.

[leighland]

I don't understand this whole "Soccer/Nonconformist Mom" junk.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but more that half of the employed population in America is now female with 60% of those representing mothers (single and married). So isn't the "Conformist' mom the one who works 40+ hours a week with her kids in daycare and few precious weekend hours to spend with family (playing soccer maybe?).

And why do I need to be labeled Soccer Mom/Non-Conformist Mom/Anarchy Mom/whatever Mom.? I love my son and I am very proud to be labeled his Mom.

Rainrad2002, Maybe what you need to find is a group of people who you have interests in. Meetup/Church/Moms Groups/etc.. See whats out there first.

[South Jersey Styx]

Originally Posted by Yankeesfan

With that kind of condescending attitude toward women you haven't met yet, stereotyping an entire gender and not intending to look beyond the outer label of "Mom," maybe you should indeed be worried. . . . but if you bother to get to know them by talking about other things rather than writing them off, you'll find that many of them are as interesting as you find yourself to be.

Originally Posted by leighland

I don't understand this whole "Soccer/Nonconformist Mom" junk. . . .
And why do I need to be labeled Soccer Mom/Non-Conformist Mom/Anarchy Mom/whatever Mom.? I love my son and I am very proud to be labeled his Mom.

Rainrad2002 I understand perfectly what you're trying to say -- any words that are used or any way it's packaged -- I think we all pretty much know what she's talking about.

I lived in Sterling for 20 yrs--raised my child and sure, she was enrolled in plenty of sports, activities, community groups, etc. That's all part of raising a well-rounded child. I did not consider myself a soccer mom (well, I didn't stay home either). But there are those moms who cannot talk about anything except their babies and children, nearly to an obsession. Even if you divert to a topic, they keep swirling back to their kids. It's the women who define themselves merely by their kids, spouses and homes. IMO,kids, spouses, and homes should be part of a woman's life, not her entire life.

There isn't anything wrong with expressing this. Regardless of how a woman wants to live her life, bottom line is (like many other things) -- there are just some things we have in common with others and some we do not, and Rainrad2002 is just being honest about sharing common interests with others.