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One main attraction for private schools is the educational component, because some of the public schools are so under-performing. If you move to an area with decent public schools, you'll be ahead of the game. As for bullying, a well-run school (private or public) will offer some insulation. In other words, bullying is not the primary problem with public schools ..... it is the level of education offered that is of concern.
Since you know where your husband's job is going to be, I suggest that you post asking people where to live within a certain distance or driving time from there and within a specific budget. You've probably read threads on here about no lining up housing sight unseen. You can also starting asking specific questions about schools that people recommend within those areas that you are narrowing down. There have been several similar very helpful threads on here from people who have first-hand experience with the schools. I totally agree with CyberCity's comment about the level of education here in Hawaii.
I'll just address your concerns about your kids education since I grew up in Hawaii and went to both public and private schools here. Since you seem like you'll be sending your kids to public schools, I'll just say that each school is different. This goes for the education as well as the social aspect. Each school has a different racial, economic and educational makeup. Even if you live in a district with a public school that isn't that good, from what I've been told by friends, getting a district exception to attend a better public school isn't that hard.
As for the bullying, yes I have seen white kids, especially newcomers from the mainland get bullied by locals but I've also seen mainland kids fit right in with the local kids. In general if you're kids are well liked at their previous school, they should be able to make friends here. If they play any sports, it'll be even better for them. Being that Hawaii is so diverse, there's a good chance that where ever your kids go to school there will likely be kids in their same situation attending school with them. That link R Cowgirl provided sounds like a good starting point.
Thanks again, all of these comments really do help:-) I don't know why I'm so worried about this... my kids reminded me that they have made friends with local kids on the beach even when we have been on vacation. Last year my 16 year old son saw some local boys riding what we call skim boards? and doing flips into the waves. He was impressed, walked up to them and introduced himself, and several attempts later was flipping away with their help
If schools and bullying are your concern, I wanted to make a suggestion that's very doable: homeschooling. Don't panic, it's a really doable option. Your four oldest are at an age where they'd practically do the homeschooling themselves. (You'd help them set a schedule and you'd oversee but you wouldn't need to micromanage.) Only your ten year old would need some hand holding.
My understanding is that HI has a huge homeschooling community -- because of the school situation. Please feel free to PM me if you'd like specifics. Homeschooling is super attainable -- and, btw, we do spelling bees, Shakespeare theater classes, tennis etc. etc. My kids aren't being neglected at all. When we were thinking seriously about moving to HI the fact that we homeschooled just made it so much easier.
Also, I don't work, but I know moms who do work and they are still able to homeschool. And I can point you to excellent forums where the parents are all homeschooling high school kids so you could easily get great ideas for curricula.
I do not know if this is the same as it was years ago, but it is something to check out before you take the home-school plunge. Years ago, students could switch between home school and public school years/grades without problems during the elementary and middle school grades. BUT, the state of Hawaii would NOT recognize "home schooled" grades in High School to the extent that you could NOT go back into the public school system and have home schooled grades count towards graduation. Yes, you could graduate as a home-schooled student, but you could not switch back and forth during High School.
So, it is something to check out carefully before you pull your children into a home-school environment, especially during the high school years.
Like I said, I do not know what the current rules are.
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