Meeting women in Hawaii (kailua preferably)

[R_Cowgirl]

In Hawaii you can go to family type activities, get invited to Luaus, go grocery shopping, go dancing without it being "clubbing" -- there are different types of places to dance. Like, take a contra or salsa class if you like caramel women (hahaha, love the description.) Women LOVE LOVE LOVE to dance. When you take a class, you get to put your arms around women you don't know and twirl them around the dance floor. When a woman is smiling and laughing and having fun, your chances of dating her go up exponentially.

Running on the beach every day in the same area would make you a 'safe' bet for a woman to talk with if she saw you every day and you don't look like a serial killer. Go to business mixers and to things like the First Night activities coming up for the holidays. Go listen to music - Hawaiian, Reggae, Salsa -- all those will have some ladies hanging out there. Go to the concerts at the Shell (assuming you are on Oahu.)

You didn't say your age - if you told us that, it might help a little. And remember, "outdoor activities" on the mainland are different than the same in Hawaii. EVERYTHING is outdoors. What helped me when I was new was that I was very friendly and got invited by co-workers and neighbors to all their family parties. I met a lot of people that way. I talked to people in my apartment complex and got involved in neighborhood activities. Go with the idea of being neighborly and not with the notion that you are on the prowl... The ladies will find you.

[Kawena]

She said she was a little on the bigger side.... I was going to meet her, just as friends.... turns out she was understating her size. She blocked out the sun!!! Internet dating id fun!!! lol

I met allot at the beaches I go.... the comments I get " thats a big dog!!!" Or " Can I pet" I get all excited till I find out that they are talking about my Mastiff whom I take waling with me.

Last chick I met at the club.... she was, is really nice.... we met at one of those clubs on Keomoku.... I think is was Sam's club

[OpenD]

Originally Posted by Dreaming of Hawaii

Don't disparage the Internet! I met my husband through an on-line dating site and we've been very happily married for 14 years

Lucky you two. You're the exception. Hey, I met someone online that I dated for a while in LA, then she moved to Seattle for work, so "oh well," but then after a while she asked me to join her in Seattle, and I did, and we lived together for a couple of years before our lives went in different directions... so there is that.

But in the balance the many, many others who were not a good match that I met that way threw the running average way over into the negative side of the scale. Nice people, mostly, just not a good match in one way or another. One in particular comes to mind, in which the vaunted "Match" effect seemed to work well for a complete year, as we explored everything there was to know about each other long distance, because we were many miles apart. Finally a long holiday weekend allowed me to slip away from work and travel to her home, where we discovered within an hour that we were as incompatible as we could be in regard to the one single topic we had never thought to discuss.

In another case I had a terrific online long distance relationship for months, and finally she flew to town to meet me, and it was a disaster, because there was just no "spark" in person. We really, really liked each other, but in a face to face meet, we were adrift in the "friend zone," with no physical attraction. There's no way to predict that.

After several years of this I went to a yoga retreat in upstate New York, and a woman picked me out of the crowd as a partner for the first pairs exercise, and stayed with me through the weekend, and rode back to the city with me at the end of the weekend, and we were together for years afterwards.

So finding someone special CAN happen any which way, but my experience is that since it ultimately comes down to a lot of non-verbal things that cannot be sussed out online, but only in person, like my examples above, the odds are that investing a lot of time in an online "relationship" is a risky gamble. Thus my advice... if you are a decent writer and communicate well it is a way to quickly screen a lot of people for the ones who seem most likely to connect, then arrange a f2f meeting as soon as possible, and in as low key a manner as possible... meeting for an hour for coffee in a busy cafe is ideal, with the possibility of going on to dinner or something else later if you hit it off, but both have an easy, graceful exit at the end of the hour if either wishes to move on.

I'll add something I recall hearing a psychologist talk about some time ago. I wish I could remember his name, because he said something that really stuck with me over the years. He said his research showed that if 100 men and 100 women with compatible profiles were to meet each other casually, face to face, one at a time , about 90 of the people each person met would be rated clear "nos," and maybe 10 would be "maybes" and possibly 5 would be "could bes," while only 1 or 2 would register as a "yes" in a quick, casually meet. And he said that whatever the impression was, it was pretty well baked in the first 7 seconds. There's a tremendous exchange of information, mostly non-verbal, that is exchanged between two people in that brief moment. So his advice... meet a lot of people, and don't get stuck with the "nos." Then the "maybes" will turn in to "yeses" or "nos" pretty quickly. Meanwhile they're all doing the same to you, so be very greatful if one of your yeses turns out to consider you a yes as well.

Originally Posted by whtviper1

I met my wife online so the everyone lies is a bit harsh.

Don't take it personally, and I didn't mean it harshly, but just to emphasize a simple truth I discovered... nobody seems to be able to write a description of themselves on a dating site that is completely accurate. One of the things that used to amuse me, when I was engaged in that scene, was listening to all the stories they told about things men said about themselves that were not true. And then when I met them I found out how many ways there were for them not to be 100% truthful either.

Whatever it is, from adding a 1/2" to their height, to subtracting 10 pounds from their weight or a couple of years from their age, exaggerating their title or responsibility at work (very popular among men), or whatever else people tell themselves and others in order to feel better, there are things that people exaggerate or leave out so routinely that they forget they are relating a story, not the facts. So when people who have met online first meet in the flesh, it's one story meeting another story, and it can take a while to wade through the shedding of the stories.

Ahh, well... the bottom lines is that it's more complicated than most people realize, and that therefore the best of all plans is just to find a way to be around a lot of people of the gender you're interested in. Go where they are, and do what they do, with no expectations, and just be open to whatever happens.

.

[Jonah K]

The Safeway in Kailua appears to be a good spot for meeting women…
https://www.city-data.com/forum/37317550-post142.html

[808usamerica]

Originally Posted by Jungjohann

I've never been to Hawaii, but, some bachelor buddies of mine just returned from a couple of weeks on Oahu, and they suggested that a very reliable spot to meet young, attractive, unattached, (well, not at the moment) ladies is either on Kalakaua or Kuhio Avenue, any night of the week! They said some of the wahines were a bit more 'wahine' than others, (whatever the heck that means?), but they did manage to have a great time!!! Anywhooo,



Hope this helps


(uuurrrrpppp,,,, scuze me)

....thanks for the advice but those are where the hookers hangout. I am looking for a more conservative women.

[OpenD]

Originally Posted by 808usamerica

....thanks for the advice but those are where the hookers hangout.

Yes, of course, that's what he said... but in his typical tongue in cheek way. That's what makes those uuuurping sounds.

He also said he's never been to Hawai'i, but those of us who have been here a while know he has actually lived in Hawai'i for more than thirty years. But he's really old, so he's forgetful about things like that.

[Jungjohann]

Originally Posted by OpenD

Yes, of course, that's what he said... but in his typical tongue in cheek way. That's what makes those uuuurping sounds.

He also said he's never been to Hawai'i, but those of us who have been here a while know he has actually lived in Hawai'i for more than thirty years. But he's really old, so he's forgetful about things like that.

At least I'm not in debt to Asclepius


Uuurrrppp, anyone seen my moa kane?


And just to add, I have lived here for almost 40 years, so, one can assume that I'm over 40. AND, I've lived in the Islands long enough to know that if you don't have a sense of humor over here, you're more than likely better off somewhere else.

[OpenD]

Originally Posted by Jungjohann

At least I'm not in debt to Asclepius

That's great, but I heard the real reason you moved here back then was that you got Hygeia in trouble and tried to get her sister Panacea to fix it, because you were dating her too, which caused such a scandal you had to hightail it out of Petaluma and stay away from Mt. Olympus for life.

I mean, that's the rumor...

[whtviper1]

Originally Posted by 808usamerica

I am looking for a more conservative women.

Republican-Dating | Dating Site for Single Republicans

[pj737]

Originally Posted by whtviper1

Republican-Dating | Dating Site for Single Republicans

Better make sure you double up on those condoms!