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Old 04-24-2009, 02:32 PM
 
767 posts, read 1,848,585 times
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Our situation is similar but opposite! I was born & raised in N.Cal, DH in So Cal. He & I settled in OC in our dink years and did well. Family all in the west...CA, NV, AZ. We aren't super close, but saw them at least 5-6 times a yr. But once the kids came, we still saw them, but there was no way I wanted my kids raised there...we had always agreed to leave before they were school age. Maybe thats something you could compromise on? So we moved near Raleigh NC about yrs ago, and we totally love it. Kids are in 1st grade & thiving...its safe & they roam the neighborhood with thier friends. But every now & then...especially around holiday...we long for the family. But once a yr is about all we can do. Someone usually comes out to see us once a yr too. But thats it. Its a trade off, but for now, we think we are doing the right thing for all of us.
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Old 04-25-2009, 08:12 PM
 
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post pics of yourself- I'll be able to tell you what to do based on your aura! seriously
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Old 04-28-2009, 04:19 PM
 
619 posts, read 2,168,637 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Michamee View Post
Hi, I'll start off saying we both feel like the luckiest people on the planet to have found each other. And want to work through this.

Currently we are living in Orange County, which we both agree to not raise kids in-but we just don't know where to go. The problem is this, he is born and raised on the water in orange county, loves to surf, play beach volleyball, etc (he does like to ski too) and I am from the east coast (I am also outdoorsy but can handle snow). I left Boston 5 years ago to live in Colorado (which I LOVE), than moved to Orange county for my-now Fiance. I'm having stronger feelings about being near family (could be anywhere on the east coast) but he is reluctant to try it. We are both flexible work wise. Any advice?

I'm getting to the point where it feels like I'm giving up my family to be with the love of my life in a place I hate OR live near my family in a place I like but without the love of my life. I'm trying to plan a wedding but I feel like this is a large speed bump to get over first.
Where`s Dr. Phil when you need him?
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Old 05-07-2009, 11:20 AM
 
Location: Atlanta, GA
25 posts, read 68,448 times
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I'm in a similar situation, I was a surfer/beach person in Orange County but moved to Atlanta with my fiance. Being so far from the ocean sucks big time. I would maybe suggest somewhere like Virginia Beach? It has ok surfing and would be much closer to your family in Boston. East Coast beaches aren't as nice as West Coast beaches but hey it's better than nothing and (as much as I love SoCal) I agree that raising a family in Orange County would be tough.
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Old 05-07-2009, 01:29 PM
 
1,156 posts, read 3,782,758 times
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Because everyone has his/her own personality quirks, finding a place to live can be tricky business indeed. In my case, I loved living in Orange County, Japan and South Korea and then moved up to Washington state, which I have grown to hate. The problem isn't the people here. It's me. The general atmosphere and character of the place turned out to not be as much of a match as I thought it would. But I'm more or less stuck because it would just be so expensive to get back into Orange County. To tell you the truth, if I suddenly won the lottery, I would split my time between Newport and Tokyo.

I like Donn's advice. If you truly can't commit to the gestalt you're in now then it may throw a monkey wrench into your marriage. You might put off the nuptials a little longer just to see how things evolve. You're going to have to decide where your tolerance ends and really listen to what your gut is telling you. Don't feel guilty if you feel you have to split the relationship up. Better to end it rather than stay in a situation where you feel there is a hole in your emotional life. Every relationship teaches us something new. So even if it ends it's valuable.
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Old 05-08-2009, 11:22 AM
 
5 posts, read 11,589 times
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Thank you for all of the opinions and advice. We are working on it together at the moment. Its true, spouse comes before family I just want everyone around. We are heading East in June, maybe we'll make a trip down to VA Beach and check it out, also need to fit the Carolina's in there.

Thank you!
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