Move to Oregon? (Portland, Eugene, Salem: daycare, homes, safe area)

[Not Iowa]

I am a 26 year old single mother of one and am scowering the country for a city that meets my wish list. I hear all good things about Oregon, such as how green & liberal the state is, but have not been there yet.

I am looking for opportunity/education/culture/safety/etc.

However, living as a single mother is much different than living as a single person. Any advice on neighborhoods that meet my needs as a family, but are also liberal enough areas to accept that I am at the moment not married? (I am living in Iowa now and feel very ostracized).

Your advice is appreciated!

[DavePautsch]

Not Iowa,
There are lots of nice places in Oregon. In the mid-Willamette Valley (Albany, Lebanon) I know of quite a few single Moms. My daughters are both in school and a number of their friends are in that situation...I obviously can't speak for their experiences, but I've never heard any "talk behind their backs" in my circle of friends.

We found Albany an easy place to make friends and found a real sense of community here. If I can be so bold as to suggest this should also be part of your search. My sister-in-law is a single mother (daughter is now a HS senior) and having a solid support network was one of the biggest keys to her success over the years. For many of those years she lived near my wife and I, but always had friends close. If you're pulling up stakes in Iowa (I don't know where your family/friends are)...I hope that you can find a place to call home that includes a good group of friends to be a part of your life.

All the best,

Dave

[mdvaden]

Originally Posted by Not Iowa

I am a 26 year old single mother of one and am scowering the country for a city that meets my wish list. I hear all good things about Oregon, such as how green & liberal the state is, but have not been there yet.

I am looking for opportunity/education/culture/safety/etc.

However, living as a single mother is much different than living as a single person. Any advice on neighborhoods that meet my needs as a family, but are also liberal enough areas to accept that I am at the moment not married? (I am living in Iowa now and feel very ostracized).

Your advice is appreciated!

Liberal is a poor description for Oregon.

Maybe Portland, Eugene, Ashland and a few other urban spots could be considered liberal, but statewide geographically, that may not be the best word to describe it. On the other hand, a large percentage live in those urban areas.

As far as the liberalist effect on government, Oregon has been financially weak as a result of it. To the end that the Governor did not want to return tax return "kickbacks" to Oregonians that were legally due - etc..

There are almost as many conservatives in the state.

Either way, that's probably enough to make you feel comfortable.

If you are an outdoors person, its hard to go wrong here. I was reading a trip report on a hiking forum from a easterner who just returned from Oregon. He wrote that he was not sure how he would ever be satisfied hiking back east again after hiking among the trees and forests of Oregon.

[Silverfall]

Portland, Eugene, and Salem area for the most part tend to vote democratic, but the rest of the state of Oregon is highly conservative. It's an interesting dynamic here. Honestly if you stick with any decent sized city, you are going to be fine. I know many single mom's and I don't think there is any ostracization factor, BUT we are in an area of 180,000 (between Salem and Keizer).

Salem is a very family friendly area, has many safe areas, good schools for the most part, and it is close enough to Portland to go the broadway shows if you want that. We also have The Elsinore Theater here which does productions. We have historical museums and beautiful old homes as well.

If you are worried about the conservative vs. liberal factor, I would avoid some of the smaller towns as they tend to be more conservative.

Albany which Dave mentions above has some great areas, and North Albany schools consistently get excellent school grades from the Oregon Department of Education.

The mid-Willamette Valley would be your best bet for affodability, as Portland and Eugene are more expensive places to live. I would consider Salem, Keizer, Albany, and possibly Corvallis. The city of Salem's web site is City of Salem, Oregon - Official City Website and has a lot of great information on it about what Salem has to offer.

Hope this helps!

[Not Iowa]

This is all great information and helps me in my research. Nothing beats the ability to ask the locals.

Thank you all for your replies!

[NW Grandma]

Research is your best bet. Home prices are very high here. We are among those in the state who are not liberal, and it is not always easy to live here for that reason. Ashland ranks very high as a livable city for liberals but also about the most expensive city in the state to live in. The climate is great. Southern Oregon is a very livable area for climate as well as the outdoor activities and culture with the Ashland Shakespeare theater and Jacksonville Britt Festival. We would not live anywhere else having been here now for 30 years. The biggest mistake we see from people moving from other areas is they forget why they moved here and try to change what attracted them to this area into what they left behind.

We live in Jacksonville, and it is a much smaller community than Ashland (less than 3,000 population) and we love it, though the home prices are very similar.

[ladysrodgers]

Originally Posted by Not Iowa

I am a 26 year old single mother of one and am scowering the country for a city that meets my wish list. I hear all good things about Oregon, such as how green & liberal the state is, but have not been there yet.

I am looking for opportunity/education/culture/safety/etc.

However, living as a single mother is much different than living as a single person. Any advice on neighborhoods that meet my needs as a family, but are also liberal enough areas to accept that I am at the moment not married? (I am living in Iowa now and feel very ostracized).

Your advice is appreciated!

Having recently moved "from" southern Oregon, I would recommend (if at all) looking into communities in the northern part of the state. The southern part has few jobs (low paying), and the economy is much stronger in the north but even there, it's not all that hot.

[little peg]

Originally Posted by Not Iowa

I am a 26 year old single mother of one and am scowering the country for a city that meets my wish list. I hear all good things about Oregon, such as how green & liberal the state is, but have not been there yet.

I am looking for opportunity/education/culture/safety/etc.

However, living as a single mother is much different than living as a single person. Any advice on neighborhoods that meet my needs as a family, but are also liberal enough areas to accept that I am at the moment not married? (I am living in Iowa now and feel very ostracized).

Your advice is appreciated!

Not sure on the price of realestate in your area but prices have gone up in oregon over the last few years, check out the market, taxes have increased alot also, I only recently left after an entire life in oregon, cost of living issue, being on your own this might be a consideration.

[jm21]

Although pretty much all of OR outside Portland/Salem/Eugene is conservative, it seems odd that there'd be a stigma attached to being a single mom out in the smaller towns. Maybe if you were 15 or 16 and a single mom, you might get some looks, but where I grew up (McMinnville) there was a daycare program for high school students and it was pretty common to see single teen moms...no one ever seemed to care much (though finding a serious boyfriend who doesn't have kids is probably a bit difficult).

The NW is very "un-churched" as I've heard some people from the midwest say, so even though there's a lot of conservatives, it's a different breed than in some of the US. It's more of a libertarian live and let live, limited government, pull yourself up by your own bootstraps mentality, rather than a cram your beliefs down someone's throat mentality.

EDIT:
Basically, IMHO, if you're a single mom and live off welfare, conservatives here will grumble about you and disrespect you. If you pay your own way, they'll have a lot of respect for you.

As an anecdotal story...a good friend of mine has been dating a girl for several years who has 2 kids by two different boyfriends (neither of them his). She's been relying on him more and more as time goes on. Lately he's been wanting to get out of it as the kids are too much responsibility for him (he's 26). You would not believe how appalled some of his guy friends (myself included) were when they heard he wanted out after this girl had become partially dependent on him (she's been working less the last year or so). He's at least waiting for her to get well on her feet before leaving, but him knowingly taking on that responsibility and then shirking it looks real bad to conservative guys here. That's what conservative Oregonians are like, from my experience...take responsibility and you're fine. If you try to be a good mom and work hard to support your kids, you'll be well respected and welcomed.

Of course, as a guy, I don't know as much about how conservative girls here think.

[Not Iowa]

Originally Posted by jm21

Although pretty much all of OR outside Portland/Salem/Eugene is conservative, it seems odd that there'd be a stigma attached to being a single mom out in the smaller towns. Maybe if you were 15 or 16 and a single mom, you might get some looks, but where I grew up (McMinnville) there was a daycare program for high school students and it was pretty common to see single teen moms...no one ever seemed to care much (though finding a serious boyfriend who doesn't have kids is probably a bit difficult).

The NW is very "un-churched" as I've heard some people from the midwest say, so even though there's a lot of conservatives, it's a different breed than in some of the US. It's more of a libertarian live and let live, limited government, pull yourself up by your own bootstraps mentality, rather than a cram your beliefs down someone's throat mentality.

EDIT:
Basically, IMHO, if you're a single mom and live off welfare, conservatives here will grumble about you and disrespect you. If you pay your own way, they'll have a lot of respect for you.

As an anecdotal story...a good friend of mine has been dating a girl for several years who has 2 kids by two different boyfriends (neither of them his). She's been relying on him more and more as time goes on. Lately he's been wanting to get out of it as the kids are too much responsibility for him (he's 26). You would not believe how appalled some of his guy friends (myself included) were when they heard he wanted out after this girl had become partially dependent on him (she's been working less the last year or so). He's at least waiting for her to get well on her feet before leaving, but him knowingly taking on that responsibility and then shirking it looks real bad to conservative guys here. That's what conservative Oregonians are like, from my experience...take responsibility and you're fine. If you try to be a good mom and work hard to support your kids, you'll be well respected and welcomed.

Of course, as a guy, I don't know as much about how conservative girls here think.

This was really great to get a guys opinion. I am 26, my child is 2, and I earn a decent professional living in IA - nearly $60K. Here, that affords everything I want at the moment. I pay our own everything and do not (and I don't think ironically) support our welfare system. I also will likely not date again until I find "home" although I like your story if not only to be proud that I could not much relate.

I don't intend to move for two years. I would like that much time to plot out my course, and I really love my job and will need to find something equally satisfying before I leave. I think a lot of people misunderstood my "liberal" statement - by definition I meant "free from prejudice or bigotry; tolerant: a liberal attitude toward foreigners." Do you think that N. Oregon meets this definition?

Thanks again! If anything I would have to say that the posters in this forum are nice to go out of their way and shed light on their homeland for me