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A relative recently started sending out her family's Christmas wish list the past few years. This immediate struck me as tacky, and going against the theme of the Season. But, now that we have family, I now empathize with the thought process. You are in the best position to know your family's needs AND it takes the guess work for others. I'm firmly on the fence now.
Not surprised it's seen as tacky, but imo it's a good idea. Wedding gift registers were probably considered tacky by some when they first appeared. People mean well but just don't know what to give grown people who have everything they need. Not everyone has access to their family and friends Amazon wish list. I don't know if people use those for the holidays, but they probably should. Amazon or not, it doesn't have to be extravagant. Could just be a couple of books or DVDs you're interested in or restaurants you would appreciate a gift card for. (Looking at you, Texas Roadhouse ) I hope it catches on.
My husband and I do with each other and have for many years. There are always a few things we want or need no matter how big or small, but I do limit how many off the lists. That way it is still a surprise, in most cases. But it's easy for us two.
While saying what ones want is practical, the concept of wedding/bride/baby/bday/holiday/housewarming etc. gift lists/registries itself is tacky and mercenary. In most occasions it's forcing people to buy gifts, otherwise you can't attend the event.
While I never heard about this concept being popular in other countries, some already started to look into it. I guess it's the times we live in. Things and etiquettes change.
I have been to many of those "celebrations" where invited people tried to appear very generous, because gifts are opened and commented on publicly and no one wants to look like a cheapskate. So, often they spent way more than they could afford.
It also takes away the element of surprise, and the process of thoughtful selection of a gift that came from a heart. Nothing is coming from a heart anymore. Everything is commercialized and comes from a wallet. It is judged mostly on what is worth.
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What I found also very annoying, people put on those lists stuff that is expensive and they don't really want/need but plan to return and get the money.
Self made gifts or own selections are not appreciated anymore, no one has time for that or wants to occupy their mind. So they are sent a list to buy an item(s) and get over with it in few minutes. Few clicks with a mouse and done. No need to give the whole gifting process personal thoughts.
If that's my option, then why bother at all? Just give a gift certificate...
Not surprised it's seen as tacky, but imo it's a good idea. Wedding gift registers were probably considered tacky by some when they first appeared. People mean well but just don't know what to give grown people who have everything they need. Not everyone has access to their family and friends Amazon wish list. I don't know if people use those for the holidays, but they probably should. Amazon or not, it doesn't have to be extravagant. Could just be a couple of books or DVDs you're interested in or restaurants you would appreciate a gift card for. (Looking at you, Texas Roadhouse ) I hope it catches on.
Now of course I would never send out a wish list to anyone other than really close family with whom we all normally share gifts. My boys are in California but my daughter and her family (grandkids) included are here in same city. She came up with the idea last year so we all shared via email. I got my number one on the list which was a camera. So I'm willing and able to do it again this year.
P.S. Yes BJ ...Roadhouse will be fine!
To frame my scenario better, our holiday gathering is usually 4-6 families (our immediate families) - so it's not like my relative is sending a spam email to the entire family/extended family - only to those expected/usual attendees.
A lot of what elnina said resonates with me. All gifts are thoughtful and should be appreciated regardless. But what has me on the fence is the stuff is sparsely/not used and usually ends up in the Goodwill/Yard Sale piles. The wedding/housewarming registries are traditional to me; but yes, bjh, I imagine the responses were similar in onset.
Please feel free to share your thoughts!
Last edited by enTERPRising; 10-27-2018 at 04:49 AM..
My family has wish lists and I prefer it that way. I do not want to waste money on something that will end up in the trash or Goodwill or where ever. Wants and needs change over the years and I want to give gifts that are appreciated and used. I might give a gift card or small stocking stuffer type gift for an element of surprise.
I have noticed over the years that this is something that people feel very strongly about. They are either pro list or consider it tacky and bad manners. Not many are indifferent.
My parents used to send little letters to their grankids telling them Santa told them if he didn't find out what the grandkids wanted for Christmas he wouldn't be able to bring them anything. Then she'd put a second sheet with the letter with one through 4 listed. They were supposed to list 4 things they wanted and send it back in the already addressed and stamped envelope
A relative recently started sending out her family's Christmas wish list the past few years. This immediate struck me as tacky, and going against the theme of the Season. But, now that we have family, I now empathize with the thought process. You are in the best position to know your family's needs AND it takes the guess work for others. I'm firmly on the fence now.
Your thoughts? Thanks and Happy Holidays!
Yes yes yes! I want to see wish lists and I want to see long ones so it will be a surprise! To be fair though, I only have 2 family members and 2 others to buy for.
My BFF and I used to write out our wish lists for each other. Then one day we exchanged them in front of my sisters. Then they wanted a list from me, too. And then my mother wanted a list. What it came down to was everyone wanted to make their Xmas shopping simpler and faster. It's not something I would do with just anyone, but with people to whom I am close. If I am going to be buying them a present I might as well know what they'd like. For us it was usually inexpensive things and we didn't always stick to the lists if a better idea came to mind.
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) I hope it catches on.
