Breaking News...., Mental Health Alert. (phone, kids, strange, city)

[JD59]

::: BREAKING NEWS :::

In 2009 the government will start locking up all the mentally ill people.


I started crying when I thought of you.

Run little friend, run!

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.


Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.


If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.


If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.


If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want,
stay on the line so we can trace your call.


If you are delusional, press 7 and
your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.


If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully
and a little voice will tell You which number to press.


If you are manic-depressive, hang up.

It doesn't matter which number you press,
nothing will make you happy anyway.


If you are dyslexic, press 9-6-9-6.


If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep
or before the beep or after the beep.

But Please wait for the beep.


If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.


If you have low self-esteem, please hang up.

Our operators are too busy to talk with you.


If you are menopausal, put the gun down,
hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry.

You won't be crazy forever.


If you are blonde, don't press any buttons.

You'll just mess it up.


This coming week is
National Mental Health Care week.

You can do your part by remembering
to contact at least
one unstable person to show you care.

[Magnum Mike]

LOL...

There's another one

If you're a member of the City Data forums, hang up, there's no hope for you..

[country pride]

Originally Posted by Magnum Mike

LOL...

There's another one

If you're a member of the City Data forums, hang up, there's no hope for you..

Hey who let you out of your room???

[Granny Sue]

The voices in my head are all trying to read this at the same time.....out loud!

[Magnum Mike]

Originally Posted by Livewire

Hey who let you out of your room???

LOL.. I'm not sure, but it was somebody who was a compulsive door opener..

[Clay Lady]

One of the great things about being an artist is that people give you a pass for all of your strange behavior!

I tell kids all the time that "everyone is an artist"....that info should help some of us not have to dial all those numbers.