Here is the flip side.
"I'M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION:!
I've used Microsoft Office.
"I'M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE!
I pilfer office supplies.
"MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES!
I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had.
"I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK!
I blame others for my mistakes.
"I'M PERSONABLE!
I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to co-workers.
"I'M EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL!
I carry a Day-Timer.
"I AM ADAPTABLE!
I've changed jobs a lot.
"I AM ON THE GO!
I'm never at my desk.
"I'M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED!
The minute I find a better job, I'm outta there.