Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Every time I take my two-year-old son to the community park, the white people (not everyone, but no accident either)almost treat us as transparent, even if you greet their children, They won't say a word, always the grin and smirk on the face without even look at us. Perhaps they think people like us tend to cause trouble, perhaps they think they earn their spot here? These people have children themselves, have they ever thought about what if it's their children who have to live through such toxic environment?
I've never lived in the area (lived in Montreal a couple years, visited Ottawa 3 times) but I wanted to apologize. Those people sound like jerks.
I really hope this is just a case of social anxiety or something, rather than treating you different based on colour (but if you say it is then I believe you). That's just what I hope though
speaking as a white middle aged guy who works in Gatineau, lives in Ottawa I can say I dont think Gatineau is any worse than any other area in the region
speaking as a white middle aged guy who works in Gatineau, lives in Ottawa I can say I dont think Gatineau is any worse than any other area in the region
Yes, I'd agree it's about the same.
These things are often hard to gauge. Are the people in the park only talking to the other white people because they already know each other, or for some other (racist) reason?
There is of course an added edge in Quebec which is language, and some people may be a bit more standoffish or non-talkative if you don't speak French, or even if they assume you don't based on what you look like.
Though I am a white guy who audibly spoke French to my kids when I took them to the park, and the range of behaviour I got from people (other white francophones) was quite variable. Some totally ignored us, some said a simple "bonjour" and then proceeded to ignore us, and some struck up a conversation.
Every time I take my two-year-old son to the community park, the white people (not everyone, but no accident either)almost treat us as transparent, even if you greet their children, They won't say a word, always the grin and smirk on the face without even look at us. Perhaps they think people like us tend to cause trouble, perhaps they think they earn their spot here? These people have children themselves, have they ever thought about what if it's their children who have to live through such toxic environment?
"Toxic environment" sounds a bit too harsh. Strangers don't all talk to other strangers, even when they are with kids in a park, anywhere in the world. Gatineau, Quebec, Canada is not unique in this respect.
My kids are teenagers now and we travelled with them all over the world when they were younger and often went to parks in foreign places to let them run around, and generally speaking people would ignore us too, and one of the reasons was probably because we were speaking a language that was foreign to them (in our case French).
That said, I don't know what language you speak to your kid or your wife in (I assume its not French) or what language you use to address their kids in (which could be French or could be English).
This could be a factor. Then again it might not be - see my other post.
I've never lived in the area (lived in Montreal a couple years, visited Ottawa 3 times) but I wanted to apologize. Those people sound like jerks.
I really hope this is just a case of social anxiety or something, rather than treating you different based on colour (but if you say it is then I believe you). That's just what I hope though
How can the OP be sure of this? Can they read other people's minds?
I've never lived in the area (lived in Montreal a couple years, visited Ottawa 3 times) but I wanted to apologize. Those people sound like jerks.
I really hope this is just a case of social anxiety or something, rather than treating you different based on colour (but if you say it is then I believe you). That's just what I hope though
Thank you Waffle, I always reluctant to label some behavior easily as whitish or etc. but in this case based on observation over fairly long time, I can't help but speaking out. The situation I'm describing is not like we are begging for a conversation. But when you are stuck in close proximity with people for a prolonged period of time, when there are only you and me, isn't it a social code that you acknowledge the existence of people, especially with children all around when people are supposed to behave nicer and less on guard?
What made me particularly sad is that this is the kind of social code I started to learn and observe only after arriving in Canada. But right now it's no longer like the country I've known since we all know when.
There are other very nice white people, black people or Asian people, I always remind myself to regard others on individual cases every time I meet someone. I just want to know for sure if there is a pattern in certain communities in Gatineau. Because this is city forum where people discuss livelihood, and people can vote by their feet always based on their observation and discussion.
These things are often hard to gauge. Are the people in the park only talking to the other white people because they already know each other, or for some other (racist) reason?
There is of course an added edge in Quebec which is language, and some people may be a bit more standoffish or non-talkative if you don't speak French, or even if they assume you don't based on what you look like.
Though I am a white guy who audibly spoke French to my kids when I took them to the park, and the range of behaviour I got from people (other white francophones) was quite variable. Some totally ignored us, some said a simple "bonjour" and then proceeded to ignore us, and some struck up a conversation.
I guess in the case of Quebec, it does have an added layer of language. Majority of people I meet would switch to English the second they detect French is not your native language, the kind of English which they presume they can master better than you would master french. And I totally understand people don't want to engage with strangers in a meaningful conversation. Especially when you are not sure if the other one can converse in your language in a functional way to avoid embarrassment. But when you stand along with each other within 1.5 meters and swing your kids side by side for fair amount of time, simply return a " bonjour" or wave at the kid when you received the same, isn't too hard.
I don't know about you guys, but it's certainly not the way we behaved towards each other even in my own communist country where people fear and hate each other so bad.
Last edited by ArthurW; 03-22-2021 at 07:18 PM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
