my daughter is 6 and she thinks she is smarter than her classmates
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i am aghast at the responses here. it is NOT OKAY for a 6-year-old to think she is smarter than everyone else. my problem is with her actual THOUGHTS, not that she would say this to her classmates: GOD FORBID!!!!! to my knowledge she has only said this to me.
my problem is that she actually has the thought, at the age of 6, that she is better than others.
i am all for building self-esteem, but i believe that i have an egomaniac in the making. i believe that what we have done is obviously praise her too much and celebrate her intelligence too much. i just don't know how you navigate the fine line of building self-esteem, and building an egomaniac.
i do not think egomaniacs are very well-liked at school. btw she is not an only child.
Why would you be aghast? Your daughter is going through a very normal developmental stage, in which she is seeking to categorize the world and her place in it. You may find her behavior horrifying, but she's totally normal. As someone else pointed out earlier in the thread, six-year-olds are a spunky bunch.
By all means, talk to her about the social difficulties likely to arise if she says these things to other kids, but don't freak out about it. Investigate whether or not she's appropriately challenged at school. If things are too easy for her, her teacher can direct you to the appropriate resources. A little difficulty with her school work may be just what's needed to temper her self-aggrandizing ways.
i am aghast at the responses here. it is NOT OKAY for a 6-year-old to think she is smarter than everyone else. my problem is with her actual THOUGHTS, not that she would say this to her classmates: GOD FORBID!!!!! to my knowledge she has only said this to me.
my problem is that she actually has the thought, at the age of 6, that she is better than others.
i am all for building self-esteem, but i believe that i have an egomaniac in the making. i believe that what we have done is obviously praise her too much and celebrate her intelligence too much. i just don't know how you navigate the fine line of building self-esteem, and building an egomaniac.
i do not think egomaniacs are very well-liked at school. btw she is not an only child.
Sure it is. Some people are smarter than other people - that's just how it is. Smarter doesn't mean BETTER, it simply means smarter.
A 6 year old can already start figuring out that some kids aren't the sharpest tools in the shed. There is nothing wrong with being smart - and it is a gift. Other kids might have other gifts - better looks, more charm, nicer clothes, more money, more pets.
A smart kid can put her gift to good use, she can help slower kids by explaining and showing them the classwork, she can realize that her eventual role in life may be different than someone else's. She can learn that she needs to be patient because others are slower or it takes them longer to learn.
I don't think a parent or teacher should praise the intelligence too much but praise the child for what they accomplish with it. It's a mistake to let them believe that being smart is the only thing that matters, it's what they do with their talents that matter.
Also there's nothing wrong with some healthy competitiveness.
i am all for building self-esteem, but i believe that i have an egomaniac in the making. i believe that what we have done is obviously praise her too much and celebrate her intelligence too much. i just don't know how you navigate the fine line of building self-esteem, and building an egomaniac.
i do not think egomaniacs are very well-liked at school. btw she is not an only child.
And maybe you have done that - I'd stop praising her too much and stop pointing out to her that she's intelligent - if she really is, she's going to start figuring that out all on her own. Bratty kids are the ones who hear it from others and get smug, but smart kids who figure it out on their own might still point it out to a parent because it's an observation. It's okay for a kid to announce he or she is average height, or lost their tooth first.
I agree that kids who are constantly told how wonderful they are - whatever it is - beauty, brains - are going to be obnoxious. The real problem is when they believe the parents think it and that it's very important to the parents but they begin to catch on that it's really not so. That's when insecurity sets in.
A smart kid who discovers him/herself that he or she is the one who catches on quickest, who doesn't find math at all hard, doesn't need the teacher explaining or helping finish work just know it - hearing parents tell him or her how brilliant he or she is, is a different matter.
Self-esteem doesn't come from praise, especially praise for internal characteristics like intelligence or beauty. Self-esteem comes from accomplishments. Encouraging a child is much different than praising them. You want to encourage self-awareness and self-evaluation.
When she does well with something academic, you can certainly let her know you noticed. Saying, *you got all the answers right on your math test* or *you got 100 on your spelling test* is entirely different from say *wow, you are really smart in math* or *you are a really good speller.* The first statements are objective statements of fact and allow her to evaluate her own performance. The second two statements are telling her how you perceive her personally. If she then does badly on the next assignments, it will effect how she feels about herself when you use these kinds of statements.
Note that kids do certainly have perceptions of themselves as smart. This is pretty normal. And often kids assessments are fairly good. Certainly, when I was in school, everyone knew who the good readers were and who the struggling readers were. That did not mean that the struggling readers had less friends though. Some of them were the best athletes.
What has to happen is to recognize that each child has value. Some of the kids who are in special education academically might still be amazing at music or art.
To me, it sounds as if the OP's dd is empathetic and doesn't want the other kids to feel bad, but she hasn't yet figured out that the kids who aren't as bright academically may have other areas they are good at. If I was talking to her, I might try to find out more about her classmates. Perhaps Susie is artistic or musical. Perhaps Johnny is a good soccer player. Try to point out her classmates strengths when you can. Try not to highlight anyone's deficits including hers.
Wow, 6 pages because a little 6 year old made a comment to her mother. That should tell everyone just how managed kids are these days.
You know what that child will learn if her mother makes this an issue with her? She will learn to not tell her mother about her own self-awareness and things that go on in school.
Children don't need to be analyzed all the time. It must be exhausting for them to have adults around them jump on every little teeny thing that comes out of their mouths and every little teeny thing they do.
OP, you don't know whether a dozen 6 year olds went home that day and said the same thing. They just came off summer. They only had kindergarten before. What do they have to compare? You don't know if a dozen other 6 year olds went home and said how 'that one girl thought she was so smart'. So what? It's ok for them to think for themselves.
Kids have a way (when they are allowed) of figuring things out. They create their own pecking order, or at least used to before adults butted in on their growth, telling them how to do it the adult's way.
Wow, 6 pages because a little 6 year old made a comment to her mother. That should tell everyone just how managed kids are these days.
You know what that child will learn if her mother makes this an issue with her? She will learn to not tell her mother about her own self-awareness and things that go on in school.
Children don't need to be analyzed all the time. It must be exhausting for them to have adults around them jump on every little teeny thing that comes out of their mouths and every little teeny thing they do.
OP, you don't know whether a dozen 6 year olds went home that day and said the same thing. They just came off summer. They only had kindergarten before. What do they have to compare? You don't know if a dozen other 6 year olds went home and said how 'that one girl thought she was so smart'. So what? It's ok for them to think for themselves.
Kids have a way (when they are allowed) of figuring things out. They create their own pecking order, or at least used to before adults butted in on their growth, telling them how to do it the adult's way.
I couldn't agree more. I've been checking in on this thread because I can't imagine how much more there is to say. Seriously. The kid was just being a normal kid, a normal person even. Heck, I'm an adult, and I frequently come home and say that I just spent two hours in a meeting with a bunch of idiots!
I was just thinking the same thing... .people saying "maybe she's not challenged enough in school"... "maybe you should have her tested to see if she's gifted" , etc.... Are you kidding me???? School just started. First grade, no less. Let's give it a semester or two and see how "gifted" the child is. Chances are, she's on grade level just like all her classmates.
According to the OP, the kid came home and said her classmates are dumb and she's so much smarter than them. A simple (although very rude) comment.
I couldn't agree more. I've been checking in on this thread because I can't imagine how much more there is to say. Seriously. The kid was just being a normal kid, a normal person even. Heck, I'm an adult, and I frequently come home and say that I just spent two hours in a meeting with a bunch of idiots!
Ditto. Someone sent out a flyer at work for an event that said 10:00am-12:00am instead of 10:00am-12:00pm. I said "It's ok most people are morons and won't notice". Sure enough not one person called or even came after 10:00pm.
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