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My only question for the OP is; at what age will YOU think it's "weird" to have you kids sleeping with you? 10? 15? 20? Do you have a goal age in mind when you absolutely want them in their own rooms? Or are you just winging everything? The same for "unschooling" as they get older and maybe should be learning things they can't learn from you or on their own (everyone has limits).
If you don't have a plan then you will have a problem.
and I'm guessing the OP is well aware that cosleeping with a 7 yo is not the norm, and shouldn't have been surprised at her friends' reactions.
Most of the time by the child is 2 or 3 years of age, they want their own space and will spend much of the night at the foot of the bed. By the age of 6 or 7, most kids will sleep in their own beds but in bigger families, the kids will still share a room with each other. By age 12 or 13, almost all kids want their own room or at least their own bed and don't even want to share a room with siblings.
Often in co-sleeping families, the kids sleep with parents until around 2 or 3, then they sleep with older siblings who have already moved into the kids' rooms.
Kids that co-sleep will see kids in cribs and wonder why someone put a baby in a cage and think that's weird. A child that has never been kept in a cage would find all the idea of being caged rather difficult to accept.
Most of the time by the child is 2 or 3 years of age, they want their own space and will spend much of the night at the foot of the bed. By the age of 6 or 7, most kids will sleep in their own beds but in bigger families, the kids will still share a room with each other. By age 12 or 13, almost all kids want their own room or at least their own bed and don't even want to share a room with siblings.
Often in co-sleeping families, the kids sleep with parents until around 2 or 3, then they sleep with older siblings who have already moved into the kids' rooms.
Kids that co-sleep will see kids in cribs and wonder why someone put a baby in a cage and think that's weird. A child that has never been kept in a cage would find all the idea of being caged rather difficult to accept.
A cage has a lid, a crib is more like a bed with a side rail, and nobody really thinks it's a cage unless they hear a grown up refering to it as such.
I am thinking that your kids might start to feel funny about their sleeping arrangement once they realize not everybody sleeps like that, so it's probably better to start gradually changing the situation now before they start to feel ashamed or different. This might not happen if you lived in a country where it was the norm, however, it's not the norm in this country.
I also want to add that I am not judging. I co-slept with one of my kids (my first son) until he was 4 years old. However, I started gradually changing the arrangement at 18 months, and he was sleeping and falling asleep by himself by the time he was 4 (we moved when he was 18 months so I took advantage of the situation and lied with him in his room instead of my room, and then gradually stayed there less and less).
One more thing to add, my husband sleeps on the couch because he snores, so my son slept with me only. My son also had some stomach and gagging problems when he was a baby so I worried less with him next to me (and he would hold onto my nose or try to lie on my head to make sure I didn't sneak away....lol!).
My inference finster, is that _this particular set_ of waitress/car mechanic was not educated. If they're feelng lazy and therefore have sex in bed, then it means they're already in bed. Because if they were lazy, they wouldn't leave somewhere else to go to bed. Lazy = already there and too lazy to leave for the childrens' sake.
Then there's the whole education thing. Unschooling, if done by -educated- parents, might be an interesting and useful experience for the children. But when presented by a waitress and a car mechanic? And not just any waitress and car mechanic - a waitress and car mechanic who think it's a good idea for the kids to be in bed with them while they have sex, and one of them *definitely* old enough to ask some pretty intense questions if the grunting wakes her up.
LMAO!
Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus
You know I love you, AnonChick, but I have to take issue with this part. What makes you think a waitress and a car mechanic can't be educated?
There are a lot of highly educated waitresses around today, can't get their educated asses into an educated job that doesn't exist. Car mechanics are pretty skilled as well. Do you eat in restaurants and get your car fixed? If you do, then I would propose these professions are valuable to you as well as society and that these parents are not necessarily unqualified in raising their kids in the way they see fit, even if the blessed general public disagrees with them.
Whoa! Why so defensive?
AnonChick said: "NOT JUST ANY waitress and car mechanic who think it's a good idea for kids to be in bed with them while they have sex."
Anonchick isn't judging ALL waitresses and car mechanics! She's concerned about this specific couple baised on what the mother has shared here!
My inference finster, is that _this particular set_ of waitress/car mechanic was not educated. If they're feelng lazy and therefore have sex in bed, then it means they're already in bed. Because if they were lazy, they wouldn't leave somewhere else to go to bed. Lazy = already there and too lazy to leave for the childrens' sake.
This is what you said "Unschooling, if done by -educated- parents, might be an interesting and useful experience for the children. But when presented by a waitress and a car mechanic?" which infers that a waitress and a car mechanic cannot educate their children. She said she was a "part time waitress" at one time, and I would submit to you that a large number of college students have been part time waitresses, as have many other people, myself included. She hasn't given her educational backround, it seems like you made the leap to waitress = uneducated. Same with her hubby. She doesn't state his educational career either.
She may have had sex with hubby while the kids were in the bed, I don't know, but I'm saying she did not say anywhere in her posts that they were actually in the bed at the time. Everyone has just assumed that's the case. The kids have their own rooms and sleep in them for days at a time according to the OP, so perhaps that's the case when the OP has sex in her bed.
This is what you said "Unschooling, if done by -educated- parents, might be an interesting and useful experience for the children. But when presented by a waitress and a car mechanic?" which infers that a waitress and a car mechanic cannot educate their children. She said she was a "part time waitress" at one time, and I would submit to you that a large number of college students have been part time waitresses, as have many other people, myself included. She hasn't given her educational backround, it seems like you made the leap to waitress = uneducated. Same with her hubby. She doesn't state his educational career either.
She may have had sex with hubby while the kids were in the bed, I don't know, but I'm saying she did not say anywhere in her posts that they were actually in the bed at the time. Everyone has just assumed that's the case. The kids have their own rooms and sleep in them for days at a time according to the OP, so perhaps that's the case when the OP has sex in her bed.
it was implied. She didn't say they stay in bed for sex because the kids are in their own rooms. She said they stay there "if they're being lazy."
This is what you said "Unschooling, if done by -educated- parents, might be an interesting and useful experience for the children. But when presented by a waitress and a car mechanic?" which infers that a waitress and a car mechanic cannot educate their children.
You're taking that sentence out of context. The following underlined sentence is vital to the overall meaning of anongirl's post:
"Unschooling, if done by -educated- parents, might be an interesting and useful experience for the children. But when presented by a waitress and a car mechanic? And not just any waitress and car mechanic who think it's a good idea for kids to be in bed with them while they have sex[/b]."
You're taking this waitress/car mechanic point way too personally!
Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus
She may have had sex with hubby while the kids were in the bed, I don't know, but I'm saying she did not say anywhere in her posts that they were actually in the bed at the time
You're taking that sentence out of context. The following underlined sentence is vital to the overall meaning of anongirl's post:
"Unschooling, if done by -educated- parents, might be an interesting and useful experience for the children. But when presented by a waitress and a car mechanic? And not just any waitress and car mechanic who think it's a good idea for kids to be in bed with them while they have sex[/b]."
You're taking this waitress/car mechanic point way too personally!
It was strongly implied.
I'm not taking it personally, it was worded in the way that infers that anonchick thinks waitresses and car mechanics are uneducated. I simply asked what makes her think that. She makes the disctintion herself by stating first that it may be ok to unschool your children if you are an educated parent but questions how useful an experience it will be for the children if presented to them by a waitress and a car mechanic, and follows that by saying not just any waitress and car mechanic but ones that think it's ok to have sex while their children are in bed. I'm asking her why she thinks that, when she has no knowledge of whether the parents are educatied or not, apart from their occupations.
If anonchick (who I have great respect for, btw, I'm was just asking for some clarification), doesn't think waitresses and car mechanics are unable to school their own children, because they are not educated, why were their professions relevant to her opinion at all?
That's how I took her post, because to me it was strongly implied, and I would like to graciously concede that I was wrong, anonchick having cleared it up. However you guys are quite merrily taking something that was strongly implied, not stated, and are taking it as fact, just like I did. See how that happens?
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