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My oldest, he is 5, just started yesterday. It was a pretty miserable day for him and I keep telling myself that he will be okay. This morning was another morning of tears and begging for us not to make him go. He tells us that he has no friends and no one will play with him and I tell him that it will take him time to meet new friends and get used to his new routine.
On the flip side this has been pretty hard on us too. We feel really bad for him and are trying to assure him that all will be well. Yesterday was horrible when we had to drop him off. My wife said today wasn't much better. Anyone else struggling? Any tips to help us out? Thanks
In Canada kids start kindergarten at 4 yrs old which in my opinion is too young.
Give it a week and I'm sure he will get used to it. I was terrified of kindergarten. I hated being away from home and I cried so much the first day that my mom had to come and get me. Don't make the same mistake she did. My mom had to volunteer to help the teacher so that she could stay with me at school. Otherwise I refused to go.
In my opinion it really was not the best way to deal with the situation.
Just give it time. Your son will get used to it.
Be careful to not get too soft. Sometimes it takes a while to adjust to school for kindergarten age.
In one of the elementary schools I worked in, there was a girl who cried every single day for months. She happened to be the daughter of someone I grew up next door to. She was very attached to mom and did not want to go to school. The next year you couldn't keep her away from there. Her brother started and never cried one day.
If he knows he has to adjust and crying won't keep him home, he will be ok. It might help to talk about everything positive he experiences during the day and not mention or dwell on the negative. After a bit, he will do more focusing on the positive and look more forward to going.
In Canada kids start kindergarten at 4 yrs old which in my opinion is too young.
Give it a week and I'm sure he will get used to it. I was terrified of kindergarten. I hated being away from home and I cried so much the first day that my mom had to come and get me. Don't make the same mistake she did. My mom had to volunteer to help the teacher so that she could stay with me at school. Otherwise I refused to go.
In my opinion it really was not the best way to deal with the situation.
Just give it time. Your son will get used to it.
As usual, Lisa is right. Also, are you showing him ya'll are upset too?
""On the flip side this has been pretty hard on us too. We feel really bad for him and are trying to assure him that all will be well. Yesterday was horrible when we had to drop him off. My wife said today wasn't much better""
I don't let moms or dads get on the field when 'little Johnnie' gets dinged (Baseball game). An almost calm kid goes total BOO HOO, when his parents are right there scared.
Talk to the teacher. Ask them how long your child is crying for. Honestly, most of the time it's 5-10 minutes and then they're good to go for the day. If your child is hysterical for hours, that's a totally different ball game.
My mom is a kindergarten teacher, and the first week is filled with tears. By the end of the week, nearly everyone is over it. The only ones who aren't are the ones whose parents stick around or are having a tough time themselves.
Remember though, it was only the first couple days! It's scary as an adult to go to a new job or activity where you don't know anyone, so of course your child is going to be nervous for a while. That's normal
Be careful to not get too soft. Sometimes it takes a while to adjust to school for kindergarten age.
In one of the elementary schools I worked in, there was a girl who cried every single day for months. She happened to be the daughter of someone I grew up next door to. She was very attached to mom and did not want to go to school. The next year you couldn't keep her away from there. Her brother started and never cried one day.
If he knows he has to adjust and crying won't keep him home, he will be ok. It might help to talk about everything positive he experiences during the day and not mention or dwell on the negative. After a bit, he will do more focusing on the positive and look more forward to going.
That's what I was warning the OP about as well in my post.
I'm sure you know kids can so easily pick up on our anxieties and fear. Put on a happy face, steel your smile and take him to school. Don't baby him, make promises, offer treats and other bribes. He'll do fine. If he hears you two talking about it too much he will know he can manipulate the situation.
Give it some more time. Things often get better as they get used to their new routine, new teacher, etc. If it doesn't get better, talk to the teacher and/or go observe the class yourself to see what's going on.
My oldest, he is 5, just started yesterday. It was a pretty miserable day for him and I keep telling myself that he will be okay. This morning was another morning of tears and begging for us not to make him go. He tells us that he has no friends and no one will play with him and I tell him that it will take him time to meet new friends and get used to his new routine.
On the flip side this has been pretty hard on us too. We feel really bad for him and are trying to assure him that all will be well. Yesterday was horrible when we had to drop him off. My wife said today wasn't much better. Anyone else struggling? Any tips to help us out? Thanks
The first is always the hardest for mom and dad! Is this his usual reaction to new situations? Did he react like this when he first started preschool? Sounds to me like it there could be some separation anxiety for him. Very common at this age. Do you know any of the other children in his class? Maybe you could schedule a playdate with them to help foster a friendship. I wouldn't make a big deal of it with him...he will get used to the new routine, class, teacher, school, etc.
If it makes you feel any better my daughter cried the entire morning! She was apprehensive again today but the report was slightly better. Changes in routine are hard for her.
Some things that you can do to ease the transitions:
1. Get a copy of the Kissing Hand and read it to him. Then make your own ritual of giving him a kiss he can keep in his hand when he is at school and is thinking of you.
2. Give him a picture of the family he can keep in his backpack so he can take it out and look at it if he wants to.
3. If you can find one or two children that live near you who are in his class, you can arrange a playdate for the weekend with them.
4. Talk about what you will be doing while he is in school - cleaning the house or other boring things.
5. Remember that kindergarten is the *new* first grade. He may be a bit stressed if they expect a lot of academics even if he already knows a lot.
6. Talk about times when you were a little scared and when you got over it and had a good time.
7. If the teacher has given you the routine, talk about what will happen at school, so he knows what is coming.
8. Sometimes it helps if someone other than mom drops off in the morning.
Dorothy
Dorothy
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