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Honestly? And I truly don't mean this in my usual witchy manner. You sound ridiculously needy. You don't like sports because your brother and sister had the nerve to do something they loved. You insist on a marriage coming first before children. You seek out weekly! affairs. The whole family has to cuddle together every night in one bed. Your kids go nowhere without you. You have to unschool them and have no desire to prep them for college. On and on and on
Attachment issues. You have them. And your kids are the ones who are going to pay for them.
Actually my whole family had issues with my brother and sister and it caused many a lot of friction that in some ways never was healed. My kids have friends....and go over their houses....i don't recall saying that i had them on a leash. If my kids want college we will prepare them for it. The learn....just what they would like to learn is all. My son spends time with his daddy learning how to do carpentry....my daughters spend time learning about history and i have taught them how to make things like candles. When they get the age that it comes up we will discuss what they want to do and act accordingly. And if they want to go to school at that age we won't be against it either, just a private school most likely It's not like we pop on the tube and say learn as you please. I am finding out that we are perhaps less like unschoolers then i thought and closer to home schoolers. As for the cuddling go back reread my statements....i said the kids can do as they please. Sure i enjoy it....but i'm not going to break down if they decide not to either. Perhaps i do have issues as we all do....i am learning to moderate them...and do see that perhaps i am a bit too extreme.
When kids are little, team sports take 3 maybe 4 hours a week. That is too much???
That's if you only have one kid or if they are on the same practice/game schedule. Take that 3-4 hours and multiply it by 2-3 kids and in total, yes, it is too much. When our kids had soccer they had practice on different days, games on Saturday. With just 2 kids that meant practice 4 days a week and 2 games every Saturday (not always at the same time). Now we're up to 8 hours of just practice and games. Add in travel time (we lived only 10 minutes from the practice field) and it's another 2 hours a week...back and forth.
I don't get why parents have to attend practices all the time either. When I was a kid parents dropped kids at practice and picked up after. Maybe if we didn't have to stay at practice the time spent wouldn't be such a big deal. I HATED soccer for that reason, it was not only time for the kids but it was my time too. I'd have been happy to drop them at practice and show up to watch the games. I still let them do it but I was very glad they didn't want to do it for another season.
That's if you only have one kid or if they are on the same practice/game schedule. Take that 3-4 hours and multiply it by 2-3 kids and in total, yes, it is too much. When our kids had soccer they had practice on different days, games on Saturday. With just 2 kids that meant practice 4 days a week and 2 games every Saturday (not always at the same time). Now we're up to 8 hours of just practice and games. Add in travel time (we lived only 10 minutes from the practice field) and it's another 2 hours a week...back and forth.
I don't get why parents have to attend practices all the time either. When I was a kid parents dropped kids at practice and picked up after. Maybe if we didn't have to stay at practice the time spent wouldn't be such a big deal. I HATED soccer for that reason, it was not only time for the kids but it was my time too. I'd have been happy to drop them at practice and show up to watch the games. I still let them do it but I was very glad they didn't want to do it for another season.
I know. I had 2. One soccer, one baseball. All I did was drive and slice oranges. But during the week we were usually home by 6:30, I didn't think that was so bad.
I didn't mind going to practice. I liek to watch the kids learn. It helps that I am a sports nut, I suppose.
I didn't just "drop my kids" off at practice. My husband volunteered as a coach and I cheered. Self-appointed #1 encourager. And that goes back to my own pre-Title IX childhood when girls weren't allowed to play. I spent a TON of hours watching my brothers practice and play ball. A TON! It built up our family and I did the same with mine. You cheer each other on no matter what they are doing: sports, choir, art. (Plus I learned the fine points of baseball, basketball, football myself. I do not bring the "guys" beer during the games. I'm watching!)
And I don't think there is better preparation for life than being part of an organized team. You learn sportsmanship, discipline, working together as a unit, how to win, how to loose. You can't get that going to the park and playing on the swings.
If I was the OP, in the OP's situation, and was wondering how to find time with my significant other, my first choice would be to ditch those insignificant sex objects that I previously insisted on being with once a week, and make the choice to spend that time with my significant other instead. Of course that means you would have to give up your playthings, but there comes a time in every person's life, when they have to say goodbye to their toys and hello to being a responsible adult.
If I was the OP, in the OP's situation, and was wondering how to find time with my significant other, my first choice would be to ditch those insignificant sex objects that I previously insisted on being with once a week, and make the choice to spend that time with my significant other instead. Of course that means you would have to give up your playthings, but there comes a time in every person's life, when they have to say goodbye to their toys and hello to being a responsible adult.
Oh for god's sake read the first post. I never said i was looking for more time to spend with my husband....stop skimming things.
Actually my whole family had issues with my brother and sister and it caused many a lot of friction that in some ways never was healed. My kids have friends....and go over their houses....i don't recall saying that i had them on a leash. If my kids want college we will prepare them for it. The learn....just what they would like to learn is all. My son spends time with his daddy learning how to do carpentry....my daughters spend time learning about history and i have taught them how to make things like candles. When they get the age that it comes up we will discuss what they want to do and act accordingly. And if they want to go to school at that age we won't be against it either, just a private school most likely It's not like we pop on the tube and say learn as you please. I am finding out that we are perhaps less like unschoolers then i thought and closer to home schoolers. As for the cuddling go back reread my statements....i said the kids can do as they please. Sure i enjoy it....but i'm not going to break down if they decide not to either. Perhaps i do have issues as we all do....i am learning to moderate them...and do see that perhaps i am a bit too extreme.
You should be preparing them for college by the time they hit middle school age. You can not get anywhere without a college education now. Unless you want your children working at retail stores making $8.00 an hour for the rest of there adult lives. (Which wouldn't suprise me)
The only rule I have with sports or activities..(since this thread seems to have evolved into sports discussion) is that if I pay to sign you up and buy the stuff for it you have to do it for a year/season/ect. In other words if you want to do soccer, you finish this season. If you want to do dance, a year. Tae Kwon Do complete a year. Soft ball... this season. Band was a school year for each of the girls.
So far they liked Tae Kwon Do enough to have done it 5 years and Band enough to be starting on the third year and High School Marching Band for the youngest. The oldest couldn't keep her grades up high enough and was on the probation list all the time so band was out for her, of her own doing.
I don't do the whole "Flitting from one activity to another" thing. This stuff costs WAY to much to sign up for and buy supplies/uniforms/ect for to do it for 2 weeks or a month and drop it. AND if they don't stick with it a reasonable amount of time how do they know they really don't like it? If they don't like it after one sign up I guarantee you they will be a bit more thoughtful of if they will like the next thing ENOUGH to do it a year/season.
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But during the week we were usually home by 6:30, I didn't think that was so bad.
