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i dont know what i would do since my son is only 4, but i would probably say something along the lines or "yes you are probably feeling ready for the physical aspects, but not the emotional ones"
I'd park them in front of the TV, show them the show Teen Mom or 16 and Pregnant and THEN say, are you sure this is what you really want?
Exactly! Many teens generally don't think more than five minutes into the future about the consequences of their actions. Your idea emphasizes the consequences of getting pregnant at that age. I am living this fear with my 16 yr old presently.
Exactly! Many teens generally don't think more than five minutes into the future about the consequences of their actions. Your idea emphasizes the consequences of getting pregnant at that age. I am living this fear with my 16 yr old presently.
Yep. I think that's a bizzare. My girlfriend had a friend whose parents were like that. It was freaky weird. She felt so uncomfortable around the family. They had two teenage daughters who were close to my friend's age. One night when she was over for dinner, the parents started a conversation about sex. And it was a detailed conversation with their daughters sharing details about their sexual relationships with their boyfriends. My girlfriend told me about this because she was horrified to be witness to such a conversation between parents and their children, not to mention they were having this conversation with a guest at the dinner table!
I think you're painting an inaccurate picture of most families that do recognize teenagers will have sex. I've never been told details and I've never wanted details.
The "don't use girl just for sex" talk comes much earlier. When a teen says he needs condoms, most parents would make sure the teen had condoms or knew how to get condoms! OMG, the result of just giving a lecture could be pregnancy or an STD.
I realize some parents feel so strongly about abstinence that they'd rather risk a pregnancy than the appearance of condoning premarital sex. That's just not me. I felt more strongly about avoiding teen pregnancy. I'm not the type of parent who would tollerate a teen pregnancy. Teen pregnancy is just utter and complete sheer stupidity IMO.
I considered calling the boy's mother (a single parent) and letting her have it but instead I decided to make my daughter realize how sissified I thought it was that the boy even went to his mother to complain or discuss this and that the mother would actually try to help her little sonny boy get some sex.
But I've known other parents who hand their sons condoms before any date and have the idea that any girl is meant to be a nice plaything for their little boys.
But yes it's a complicated issue and parents know their own teens and the values they're trying to instill in them. If a girl (or boy) comes to parents about having sex, I don't think the parents should be afraid to try to deter them because it may be just what the child is seeking.
Say a young girl is getting pressured and decides to talk to a parent about it and the parent just hauls her to the GYN to be put on birth control pills - what is that saying to her? That she must submit to sex even if unsure. Or the parent starts raving on about the glories of sex and orgasms, that won't help a girl who deep down wants to tell the guy she's not ready.
My feeling is when a teen child comes to the parent to discuss this, it's because they deep down want the parent to reinforce once again what they believe the parent believes - because they're being pressured into something they don't really want or are not sure about - even it's their own body pressuring them. It's like - tell me again what I should do. It's not the time to go wildly off course from what you've previously tried to tell them, warn them about.
I considered calling the boy's mother (a single parent) and letting her have it but instead I decided to make my daughter realize how sissified I thought it was that the boy even went to his mother to complain or discuss this and that the mother would actually try to help her little sonny boy get some sex.
But I've known other parents who hand their sons condoms before any date and have the idea that any girl is meant to be a nice plaything for their little boys.
But yes it's a complicated issue and parents know their own teens and the values they're trying to instill in them. If a girl (or boy) comes to parents about having sex, I don't think the parents should be afraid to try to deter them because it may be just what the child is seeking.
Say a young girl is getting pressured and decides to talk to a parent about it and the parent just hauls her to the GYN to be put on birth control pills - what is that saying to her? That she must submit to sex even if unsure. Or the parent starts raving on about the glories of sex and orgasms, that won't help a girl who deep down wants to tell the guy she's not ready.
My feeling is when a teen child comes to the parent to discuss this, it's because they deep down want the parent to reinforce once again what they believe the parent believes - because they're being pressured into something they don't really want or are not sure about - even it's their own body pressuring them. It's like - tell me again what I should do. It's not the time to go wildly off course from what you've previously tried to tell them, warn them about.
Lol, it always cracks me up when I see parents of daughters say things like this. I always gave my sons condoms, always. Better safe than sorry, and I hate to break it to you...but all your darling little girls (not you, specifically, the collective you) are not nearly as innocent as you would like to think.
My son (who died at age 16) would have never come to us with that kind of statement because he knew full well that my husband and I don't believe in premarital sex no matter how mature someone thinks they are. And if he would have, we would have both tried to talk to him about why our faith teaches that it's wrong.
And yes, my husband did discuss this kind of thing with him.
Lol, it always cracks me up when I see parents of daughters say things like this. I always gave my sons condoms, always. Better safe than sorry, and I hate to break it to you...but all your darling little girls (not you, specifically, the collective you) are not nearly as innocent as you would like to think.
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LOL
