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You're right. The portfolio grade reflects the management of paperwork.
Normally we don't "punish" bad grades. He is a smart kid who tries to rush through work and studying to get to fun. (Who doesn't?)
The punishment aspect came up because, the night before he was turning in the portfolio make-ups (after he had gotten an original grade of 55), he did not seem very concerned about making sure he had all the paperwork organized. He kept blowing us off about it saying he was pretty sure he had all the worksheets, like he was "close enough."
That's when his dad said, OK, if you don't get a 90 on the make-up, you lose your laptop for a week. Then we had to follow through with the consequences at the same time he told us about the good test grade.
I guess I'm wishing we could separate the two grades and really congratulate him on the test grade, while still being able to follow through on our ultimatum.
The first time around when he got "close enough" to an A on the portfolio (which was a 75 even after make-ups), we had no consequences. This time we felt we had to have some kind of consequences to make him get serious.
I'm with your son. You are not being fair. There's no consistency in your expectations, rewards and punishments.
You accepted a 75 without consequences, then you turned around and punished him for an 80.
On top of it, he got a great grade on the test.
I understand that you were most concerned with his attitude. You should have punished him for his attitude, not his grade.
Seriously, think about it. If he had gotten a 90 with the half-assed effort, he wouldn't been punished.
As a result, your husband's threat wasn't an appropriate way to address your son's an attitude about effort.
Yeah, you messed up. How do you handle it? You admit that you messed up!
Parents should apologize to their children when they make mistakes. It teaches children by example how to apologize and take responsibility for their mistakes.
Because she realizes they are only focusing on the negatives, not the positives.
How so? IMO test grades are one thing but there is really no excuse for not turning in work. My son would be in trouble too. IRL turning in work is paramount. Having the ability to get an A on a test is not a substitute for turning in work as expected. The sooner he learns this the better. If my child comes home with a C because they struggle to understand something, that is one thing; if they come home with a B in a class that they totally get but just are too lazy to accomplish the basic requirements you can bet your *** they will be in trouble. No excuse for that.
Because she realizes they are only focusing on the negatives, not the positives.
The child got an A on the test and a B on the make-up portfolio, but he's grounded from his laptop for a week.
I would get more out of your suggestions if you left out the presumptuousness and these guys.
It bothers me because we were within our right to establish consequences. Whether we argue about whether they were for a bad grade or lack of effort is approaching pedantry here.
His attitude is what got him in trouble, even though I phrased it here initially as punishment for a bad grade. I can see that now after this online therapy session.
The grades perfectly reflect his MO. He is able to do great on tests because he can come through in the clutch, but he is not great at daily maintenance stuff. When we were trying to help him monitor it, he blew us off and indicated that "close enough" would be OK with him. That's when the laptop thing came up.
My REGRET and the reason I posted here is that BOTH grades came in at the same time, and when he finally got called for slacking off, he cried foul and said we don't appreciate his good grades, which is not true.
If I needed to apologize, I would. They've seen me do it a million times, thanks.
And on the third hand (yeah we got three, we're that awesome), if he's not too lazy, but is just overwhelmed because for the first time he's expected to perform up to standards and not just slide by on natural academic brilliance...
then a compromise is in order. Another thing the OP could do - to congratulate the kid on the actual test results, is give him a nice set of writing instruments (Parker makes decent sets at reasonable prices, under $20 for a ball-point and mechanical pencil in chrome). Reward academic achievement with academic tools. That's what my parents did. My grandmother bribed us with money, heh. Parents let us buy a new outfit for school, or new notebooks, new pens - I became an office supply junkie because I had good grades
I have a house of teens and preteens--a few of them struggle a little with organizational skills, although they're very bright. When my kids are having trouble keeping track of the work in a class, we usually sit down with them and help them work out a plan for how they'll improve the grade. It might mean getting a special folder for the work, checking in with us and showing their work once a week to make sure the papers are in place and the project is intact, keeping a planner to write down important due dates and test dates, setting daily and weekly goals for when pieces of a project will be completed, etc. I don't think punishing is all that helpful, unless he's point black just not doing the work because he doesn't feel like it. I doubt that's the case. If you can step in and walk him through the steps of keeping track of his work in an organized way, and then monitor his progress regularly, it should do the trick. It may take support for several projects, but eventually he'll start to catch on. Tell him good luck for me
- 80 in many classes is actually a mid-C, not a B like in college.
- Organization skills are essential. Your child's hand will not be held in high school. This teacher is trying to show the kids HOW to take a class. Plus, portfolios have a wide range of academic benefits such as study aids. It may be just an effort grade, but it is still important.
- Fit the punishment to the crime. For example, my son has organization issues, to put it mildly. We check his notebook together everyday as soon as he walks in the door. Right then, if he forgot anything or it needs work, we head to his locker to fix it. He is grounded each day that happens from playing with his friends. Two days in a row, and he looses his Wii, etc.
This only works as long as we are also teaching him how to be organized. It has been trial and error to find systems that work for him. But, we are getting there. As he racks up more days without problems, we'll start backing off on direct involvement.
- 80 in many classes is actually a mid-C, not a B like in college.
- Organization skills are essential. Your child's hand will not be held in high school. This teacher is trying to show the kids HOW to take a class. Plus, portfolios have a wide range of academic benefits such as study aids. It may be just an effort grade, but it is still important.
- Fit the punishment to the crime. For example, my son has organization issues, to put it mildly. We check his notebook together everyday as soon as he walks in the door. Right then, if he forgot anything or it needs work, we head to his locker to fix it. He is grounded each day that happens from playing with his friends. Two days in a row, and he looses his Wii, etc.
This only works as long as we are also teaching him how to be organized. It has been trial and error to find systems that work for him. But, we are getting there. As he racks up more days without problems, we'll start backing off on direct involvement.
I know in HS 80 was a B but in college, you often need higher than that. In my DD's program an "A" isn't until a 92 so I'm suspecting a B would be 82 or 85....She was one of those kids who worked hard for her B+ average in HS. Fortunately, she is super organized and in college it has really paid off. She has friends who are struggling because they depended on their exceptional test scores in HS. Everything came easy until college. In HS they were big fish in small ponds..they really had no idea how to really work hard. They are now paying the price. She, OTOH, is used to working hard and being organized and is doing very well in college. My son still struggles with being organized -but at least he realizes it.
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