Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I don't think it's really normal for a son to talk about masturbation with his mother. It sounds like he has a problem understanding that some things really can be and should be private. Too much info! In fact if a boy enjoys talking about every detail of his sexual life and his masturbation - especially with his mother, I would think at the very least, he's a momma's boy. Is he going to marry someday and tell momma all about the sex is with his wife?
U know I am wondering about how normal it is too... He talks about everything though it isn't just that. I think not having a man around he just doesn't know. He is a bit of a "mama's boy" I worry that about too. I must confess I kind of like that. He does like girls allot and always has since the age of 2. He likes um tall, slim, with long hair and a little junk in the trunk... I just want him to know he can tell me anything without telling me everything in detail. I don't know how to communicate that without compromising the openness we have. I think a wife will insist he keep somethings private
I have 3 sons, 19, 14, 13. All with very different personalities. I take a different approach with each one.
How old is he? And what is his maturity level?
Is he asking questions or sharing his experiences?
He's 16 and has lots of questions that I don't have the answers too. We don't really go into what he is experiencing per se. It's more mom "is this normal" or "what if" and "how do I handle this with the guys in the locker room" type stuff. I never knew boys were so complicated or had any issues other than needing a sandwich or to remember to put the toilet seat back down and flush
so who should these boys talk about masturbation with? She is a single Mom. Should she trust some man to do a better job than she is doing? This can be addressed in a very calm manner.
When my son was still in diapers, I would find him watching his kiddie shows with his hand down his pants. Was it masturbation? Of course not. All I said was "I know that might feel good to you but that is something you do only in private." I didn't say he was bad, he would go blind or anything alarming. As he grew older and we got into sex education, I tried to be as factual as I could again without judgment. He was old enough to know that somethings we do only in private. I certainly did not go into details about what to do. I'm sure most males figure that out themselves.
As an teenager, he knew he could go to me or his dad and ask anything and we would give him the truth. Sometimes he would relate things his friends told him and we had to set the record straight. BTW DH was not good at talking to our kids about things like that. Once he heard he talking to them about sex organs and he told me he was surprised I was so candid. Then I realized he thought I was talking about sex the verb while I was talking about sex the noun as in these organs determine which sex you are. We agreed he should be around when these talks were had but I was better at explaining things. We also agreed I was the better driving instructor. We all have our roles which should not have anything to do with sex-the noun-not the verb.
My grown kids talk to me about Everything. I was sure to encourage this when they were young because my parents never said a thing about anything. I had to learn the hard way.
My 29 year old single son is especially candid. I sometimes have to say "TMI" to him and we both laugh and he calms down a bit. But I really am honored they feel they can discuss things with me. I try not to be judgmental and give advice only when asked. If they tell me something I am uncomfortable with or disagree with I tell them "If you don't want my opinion on this we better curtail this conversation" But it turns out they like to hear what I have to say. They don't always agree but they like to hear what I think.
I was especially candid when discussing masturbation with them-yes the girl too- as I did not want them thinking it was anything wrong- just the kind of activity one does in private. Keep up the good communication even if you are uncomfortable and don't feel you need to get a male involved just because you have boys. Good communication is important about everything.
I feel the same way, but I would be better at it if he were a girl... I think And some of the details I just don't want to know... I guess I want to have my cake and eat it too. I want a happy medium. However, as a parent I don't think I have ever had that- not for long anyway. I am just looking for ideas. Sometimes I get some really good ones from cd posters.
My sons are the same way. I tease them sometimes and tell them I can teach them to lie.
My 17 year old didnt start talking until he was 4 now he wont shut up.
Keep the communication open your a very special mom with great kids.
Great job mom.
Jeepgirl, I thought u were just a teenager yourself... I didn't know u were an experienced mom. I thought that is what 27 meant Well u post very young and u must be a great mom too. Thank u for your feedback.
My oldest tells me everything (if there are details she is not sharing... I would be amazed). There have been so many times that I have been driving - clutching the steering wheel - chanting "don't react, don't react" in my head, while my 16 year old tells me things she's thinking or things she's done. At an age where most children don't tell their parents anything and hide what they are doing... my daughter has labeled me as "one of her best friends" and seems very comfortable talking to me. Would I rather have TMI (too much information), or not know what my teen is up to? I would, certainly, take the TMI. Even if it means I have to hear details that I really don't need to know...lol.
2 funny I can so identify. Why is it they want to reveal these details when u r driving I hold the wheel tightly while saying no big deal over and over. I am starting to feel a lot better. I just wondered if this was way out of the norm and what I should do to balance it. I never told my parents anything. "Don't ask don't tell" was always the we did it when I was growing up. Today's kids r really different...
so who should these boys talk about masturbation with? She is a single Mom. Should she trust some man to do a better job than she is doing? This can be addressed in a very calm manner.
When my son was still in diapers, I would find him watching his kiddie shows with his hand down his pants. Was it masturbation? Of course not. All I said was "I know that might feel good to you but that is something you do only in private." I didn't say he was bad, he would go blind or anything alarming. As he grew older and we got into sex education, I tried to be as factual as I could again without judgment. He was old enough to know that somethings we do only in private. I certainly did not go into details about what to do. I'm sure most males figure that out themselves.
As an teenager, he knew he could go to me or his dad and ask anything and we would give him the truth. Sometimes he would relate things his friends told him and we had to set the record straight. BTW DH was not good at talking to our kids about things like that. Once he heard he talking to them about sex organs and he told me he was surprised I was so candid. Then I realized he thought I was talking about sex the verb while I was talking about sex the noun as in these organs determine which sex you are. We agreed he should be around when these talks were had but I was better at explaining things. We also agreed I was the better driving instructor. We all have our roles which should not have anything to do with sex-the noun-not the verb.
Actually, this brings up a slightly OT point that I'm having an issue with. My dd (3.5) has found that if she um.. "balances" on a chair a certain way that she, well, let's just say she finds it fun. I'm at a bit of a loss as to how to approach it with her. I too have told her it's something to do in private - but I don't think she knows what she's actually doing, if you see what I mean. I don't want her to have negative connotations about it - yet it's not very seemly to do it in the dining room, either.
She's too young to have a proper conversation about it, obviously. Has anybody else had to deal with this? I am reluctant to start a thread because there are some really disturbed people out there who might get their jollies while reading it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I just want him to know he can tell me anything without telling me everything in detail. I don't know how to communicate that without compromising the openness we have. I think a wife will insist he keep somethings private
I guess I want to have my cake and eat it too. I want a happy medium. However, as a parent I don't think I have ever had that- not for long anyway. I am just looking for ideas. Sometimes I get some really good ones from cd posters.
I hold the wheel tightly while saying no big deal over and over. I am starting to feel a lot better. I just wondered if this was way out of the norm and what I should do to balance it. I never told my parents anything. "Don't ask don't tell" was always the we did it when I was growing up. Today's kids r really different...
