Daycare called CPS on me.....how do I handle this?! (day care, legal)
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Hello everyone! I need some advice. A little less than a week ago, my daughter (3 years old) was climbing onto her chair for dinner and she slipped and fell off. I saw a small scratch on her side and the next day I saw a bruise. I didn't think much of it after that because she was not acting as if it hurt her and was totally fine.
Today when I went to pick her up from daycare, they had a lady from CPS there to talk with me about what happened. I, of course, talked to her and have NO issues at all if they want to investigate further. I have nothing to hide and am not at all worried.
I do need some advice on how to handle the daycare. I feel very hurt and upset that they didn't say 1 word to me about the bruise. I felt like all eyes were on me as I went to get her from her room and felt like they all thought I was a child abuser. I am not sure how to handle this. I wonder how they would feel if I reported them to the authorities without talking with them or trying to work it out first.
I have not been overly thrilled with the daycare as it is, but I have stuck with them because they are very close to my work and home. My daughter seems pretty happy there, and that is the most important thing to me.
I have not talked with anyone at the daycare yet because I wanted some time to think it over and make sure I know what I want to ask/say to them before I do it. Any advice for me? Anyone else been in this situation? TIA!
If they have reason to suspect that something possibly happened, then I believe by law they are required to report it (I know that in my child-related jobs we were under legal obligation to do so); they can, however, also talk to you about it. I'll be curious to hear how others with more knowledge and experience suggest handling this; my inclination would be to tell them that you were embarrassed by the incident, that your child simply had an accident (as ALL kids do), and ask if they had any other reasons to be concerned. Maybe it's just a case of a recent training course, over-zealous daycare employees who do want to do the right thing, and no clear policy in place on their end to handle discussing it with the parents involved. I think some sort of conversation is definitely in order to clear the air, though. Good luck!
They had to do it, as a CYA for themselves. If they saw this, and did not report it, and then you said it happened at school, then you could sue them, and they have no proof that it was not them. Also, if you were an abuser, and continued this, it protects your daughter, because now there will be a file on you, and it again, protects the daycare, because if she is hurt, there is already documentation that she was injured before in your care.
Pretty standard, I can understand you being offended, but at the same time, from their point of view, they have to document and report all injuries to 'CPS, that could possibly come back on them.
Look at it this way, they are an excellent day care, obviously involved in taking care of your daughter, and paying close attention to her injuries.
Just the nature of business now days...no one can be too careful.
I'm a bit surprised it went down the way it did. Reports to CPS are usually confidential. That's why I'm surprised CPS confronted you there instead of at your home due to an annonymous report. Regardless, medical professionals, teachers, childcare providers are all required by law to report certain things. I'm not very knowledgable about specifics, but I believe bruises on certain areas of the body at certain ages are one of the criteria for reporting. Even if they had asked for an explanation, they couldn't have decided on their own to accept your explanation. A bruise on the side of a 3 year old is probably something that is mandated for reporting.
When my children were little, I always relayed any incidents to their childcare provider and the provider did the same to me. In other words, if my child was injured at home, I would inform the childcare provider when dropping the child off. If my child was injured while at childcare, they would inform me when picking up. It was sort of second nature for me to document injuries with caregivers. That way there was no confusion over where and how bruises occurred, etc.
I've never been in your situation, but I wouldn't quickly take your child out of daycare. Doing so might send up a red flag to CPS. Plus, she is happy there, and they clearly care about your daughter. If I were you, I would play this one cautiously and simply explain what happened and sincerely thank them for being concerned for your daugther. Getting upset with them could only make matters worse.
Moving your daughter while you are under CPS investigation will not be a good idea. CPS will show up at the next childcare providers location to continue the investigation. Then your new providers will be very concerned---because they won't know you at all and suddenly CPS is showing up at their childcare center.
I completely understand and am respectful of the laws regarding them having to report it. Although, I had never considered that as a protection for them!!
I actually told the CPS worker that I was not upset. I really do understand why they called and told her that I appreciated that they were keeping an eye open for her and felt that they were watching out for her. CPS there to make sure children are safe and to help them when they aren't safe.
I am just going to have to calm down a little about the situation and calmly discuss this with them. Maybe in the future they will feel more comfortable talking to me first and firing the big guns 2nd? Maybe they aren't able to do that due to company policies or even the law? I guess I won't know until I talk to them about it tomorrow.
Thanks for the responses so far! I look forward to hearing more from others!
Edited to add: The caseworker with CPS said that she will send the information to her supervisor who ultimately determines if further investigation is necessary.
I am just going to have to calm down a little about the situation and calmly discuss this with them. Maybe in the future they will feel more comfortable talking to me first and firing the big guns 2nd? Maybe they aren't able to do that due to company policies or even the law? I guess I won't know until I talk to them about it tomorrow.
I'm not sure if you posted this before you saw my post. I recommend asking them if they would like to be informed of any injuries whenever you drop her off. Perhaps the way my provider and I shared information prevents this sort of thing from happening. It was just second nature to us to exchange this information. Little ones get all sorts of bruises and I always wanted to know how my children got every one of their bruises. I think any good childcare provider would feel the same way and want to be informed of any bruises too.
From what I can tell about the situation, it simply seems like routine CYA by everybody involved. Daycare I think is required by law to report bruises and then of course it can't be anonymous. If it had been me I would clamly inquire what the procedure is for reporting bruises and if it is possible to let the parent be present when authorities come to check out the kid.
When I had my kids in daycare on a partime basis and they were hurt there, they would always write up the injury, point it out on the child, draw a picture on the body chart and I had to sign the paper. But I'm not sure what the procedure was for a kid showing up with bruises. Doesn't every kid have bruises at one time or another?
If something like this happens again be proactive and tell her teacher. Then at least your being upfront and they could question you if need be. I know as a parent I would always tell my childs teacher if he had anymark other than on his knees or shins.
Doesn't every kid have bruises at one time or another?
Here's a website that explains normal brusing in nonabused children compared to bruising in abused children: Bruising Key Messages (http://www.core-info.cardiff.ac.uk/bruising/key_messages.htm - broken link)
It sounds like the location and severity of the bruise is what got their attention along with the fact there was a scratch/abbraision inside the bruise too.
Thanks again, Hopes! That gave me a lot of insight into the things they look at/for. The injury happened right over her ribs. And, the bruise looks really nasty (ya know, turning all different colors, etc..)!
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I am not sure how to handle this. I wonder how they would feel if I reported them to the authorities without talking with them or trying to work it out first. 
