Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I don't particularly find anything weird or strange about it...they were talking about milestones and I think that:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Awesome50
The man that asked the question has a wife that still breastfeeds at 11 months.
Still is the key word....the guy was just looking for another perspective/experience.
Off the top of my head, I can't think of any other question/subject related to a young child's growth and development that might be considered 'off limits' for 'stranger' dads to talk about when it might be ok for 'stranger' moms....so, why not this one?
Having said that, I've never had a conversation about this kick off while I was in Aisle 6.
Hmm... I guess there are the two ways to read this. Option A, where the man with the 11 month old breastfeeding baby is worried that it's been going on too long, or Option B, where the man with the 11 month old breastfeeding baby is proud of that fact and is trying to show off. I immediately read it as competitive, but that's perhaps because in some circles if you don't breastfeed for at LEAST an entire year you're setting yourself up for people to be sorry for your poor, undernourished baby, who will inevitably be destined for a life of obesity and health problems as a result. But the very fact that breastfeeding is such a touchy subject among many people does make it a potentially hot topic to discuss with a random stranger you have just met. Men generally don't have to personally put up with the same level of public scrutiny of their parenting choices, though, so they might not be as sensitive as mothers who are hit with those sorts of questions or comments from more people and more places, so they probably are more likely to see it as an Option C -- simply a question, and not as a probing question with a "right" or "wrong" answer. (with a lecture to follow if the answer is "wrong." And I DID breastfeed for a full year, but still found those sorts of questions or the pat-on-the-head-type comments annoying!)
Last edited by uptown_urbanist; 11-19-2010 at 08:34 AM..
Other questions guys with babies discuss include
Breastfeeding - While the kid has em hubby doesn't
Breastfeeding - Encourage it because if you bottle feed then guess who gets up in the middle of the night.
Sex - Do you do it when she is pregnant.
What sort of fuel do you put in your lawn mower.
Sex
Do you put the 3 month old in the next room to have sex.
Why is it that 6 month old girls can negotiate with their eyes when they can't even speak yet.
Just how many diapers did you change today.
Sex.
My wife never got the hungry munchies. I felt like a let down I was never sent out at 2am for bla bla.
How do you hold the baby capsule in the car when the strap is not long enough.
Have you seen my 3 month old. I am sure I had him when I left home to do the shoping.
sex
chicks - You know if you want to meet chicks carry a baby around.
We have been given 2000 bags of baby clothes and still she wants to buy all new clothes.
Do you want some? No. Oh you got 1000 bags too.
We had to buy a new cot, stroller, pram, etc etc.
You too
sex
Not recently.
This!!
I've sat next to men I did not know at places like car races who have told me about their wife's 30 hour labor and delivery in exquisite detail.
Maybe I just have a sympathetic air about me that causes these confessions but sometimes I have to give them "the look" and excuse myself to go get some air.
Hmm... I guess there are the two ways to read this. Option A, where the man with the 11 month old breastfeeding baby is worried that it's been going on too long, or Option B, where the man with the 11 month old breastfeeding baby is proud of that fact and is trying to show off. I immediately read it as competitive, but that's perhaps because in some circles if you don't breastfeed for at LEAST an entire year you're setting yourself up for people to be sorry for your poor, undernourished baby, who will inevitably be destined for a life of obesity and health problems as a result. But the very fact that breastfeeding is such a touchy subject among many people does make it a potentially hot topic to discuss with a random stranger you have just met. Men generally don't have to personally put up with the same level of public scrutiny of their parenting choices, though, so they might not be as sensitive as mothers who are hit with those sorts of questions or comments from more people and more places, so they probably are more likely to see it as simply a question, and not as a probing question with a "right" or "wrong" answer. (with a lecture to follow if the answer is "wrong." And I DID breastfeed for a full year, but still found those sorts of questions or the pat-on-the-head-type comments annoying!)
Yeah, as a man, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say it probably wasn't 'competitive' and probably wasn't bought up as a 'hot topic'/touchy subject.
I would guess it was simply a question rather than a "wrong! you're wrong!" trap.
Yeah, as a man, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say it probably wasn't 'competitive' and probably wasn't bought up as a 'hot topic'/touchy subject.
I would guess it was simply a question rather than a "wrong! you're wrong!" trap.
I assumed it was more of a .."so..uh....how long does this go on?" kind of question....
It is an unusual question but it still deserves an honest answer. The other fellow asking may be in need of information about what is normal and maybe he is just shy to speak with his own wife on the subject. That's my opinion. Honestly I think the question just shows that he cares about his children to be brave enough to ask -- even a stranger for information he may know.
I've discussed BFing with other guys at work, who were expecting or just had kids. However, that is more of an acquaintance/friend at that point then it is a random stranger.
I would take this as a lot of people, men and women, who have just had kids or have very young kids are often dealing with what has rapidly become a much smaller and more limited social circle. You tend to give up a lot of the little freedoms like stopping for a drink after work or going to your buddies for the football game to invest more time in your family and your kids. Sometimes, these parents may be the only ones in their social circle who have kids. When they meet someone seemingly in the same situation, it presents itself as an opportunity to vent and get some adult conversation even if if is about the kids.
I've had a few of these myself. Two dads standing in the toy aisle at Target while their kids look at toys and one intitiates a simple conversation. Can't say it's ever been about BFing, that seems to be crossing the line into personal, but maybe this was the only opportunity this guy had to talk to someone who wasn't in his family or vested in his life.
I assumed it was more of a .."so..uh....how long does this go on?" kind of question....
haha.
My nephew, 19, who has been a series of nightmares, is becoming a father next year, he actually asked me recently, and I do not tell a lie, "so....uh....what's the deal with sex and pregnancy?"
"so...uh...have you looked into adoption?" Kid, I love you but I hope you can get yourself ready for this fatherhood thing...
Good for him for feeling so open with me (don't hold back)....And it was only later that I thought to myself, well, I assume he means sex post-pregnancy, and not 'explain to me in layman's terms how this pregnancy thing happens'.
(He is actually very bright, just....impulsive. I'm sure he'll be fine...ok, I'll babysit)
Of course there's nothing wrong with it. It's no more wrong than complete stragers coming up to me and asking if I am breastfeeding. It seems to be a subject that is open for discussion everywhere.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
