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And you need to keep in mind that she has every right to change her mind.
If she changed her mind then why didn't she tell me that herself?
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Which it sounds like she's done. I'm sorry, but just reading how you come across on here to us....I wouldn't want you living with me.
And how do I come across?
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You might want to evaluate how you come across to people. It's possible it's affecting you being able to find a job as well.
When I apply for a job I dress well, answer the questions truthfully and honestly. I apply for a job, wait for an interview, then go to the interview, and hope I get a job. I don't take the proactive approach and be persistent as I would rather let HR do their job first.
You come across as very pushy and entitled. I'm just being blunt. It's very possible that they don't want to get in it with you over the phone and are just hoping you take a hint.
Why don't you just plan something else. If they want you that bad they will call and ask, "where are you - I thought you were coming?".
I can tolerate my family visiting for about 3 days max. I love my family but would I want to deal with anyone actually living with me? No. Moving in with someone is a whole different ball game than just visiting. So if I were you, rather than wasting energy on calling them and waiting around for an answer, I'd get on with my life and make another plan.
They already know you are calling them, so if they really want to get in touch they would call back. If they don't call back, you can assume you are not moving in. It sounds like they want to say "no" and don't know how to say it.
Just because they are related doesn't mean they are obligated to let you move in. I would be ok with someone staying with me for a few weeks under extreme circumstances but there is no way I would let my cousins who live across the country move in with me for 6 months for no real reason.
Oh, and I wasn't supposed to answer the door or phone as a kid when my parents were gone.
My cultural background is Polish/American and I'm white. I'm from the Generation Y era. And how am I already breaking the rules when we haven't signed anything yet? I'm still waiting on a phone call and if I don't hear back from them then I will unpack my things. Keep in mind my cousin's wife said yes.
You know OP, you've got so much to learn about life, you really do. I hate to say this, but you have some serious control issues here, to the point of compulsions. I've gone over a few of your different threads/posts and see the same trend, over and over again. You feel the need for things to be "the way you want them to be/the way you think they should be". You come on here trying to find reinforcement and validation for your ideas. I see that you're also asking questions, but you're attempting to lead the posters into answering the way you want them to.
I see can see that this is your problem in life, too. You've said that you can't get a retail job, because you can't pass the personality tests. Hon, that there is a big, BIG red flag! Are some of those tests ridiculous? Yeah, they are, but I'm telling you, they're not just basing their decision to not hire you, on the questions on the test. You've shown that through many of your posts, which show your need to compartmentalize everything.
These people were most likely badgered and guilted into letting you come stay with them. Clearly, they are having second thoughts. At best, they wanted to have a peaceful (as peaceful as you CAN get when you've got children the age of thiers) holiday before their houseguest arrived. As for how their son spoke to you on the phone? Let me tell you something. You are going to be dealing with much, much more of this stuff when you move in. Whether you know it or not, you are putting those kids out by coming to stay with them. When you've got specific sleeping/living arrangements in a home, it is a HUGE inconvenience, to have an "outsider" come into your home to stay. Very few households, with children, adapt well to changes such as these and you can BET that 13 year old is already making some huge waves about it, and you're not even there yet. He's the oldest "dependant" male in the home and you are about to take that role away.
You need to think about this move and about how much work you're willing to put into bending yourself to fit into this family's "dynamics". You are not going there to FIX anything, and you better not try, or you're going to find yourself being asked to leave, right away! For all you know, someone in that family is reading CD (hey, it can happen) and they already know that you see the family as "needing your help". Parents don't appreciate that attitude much. I wish you luck OP, I really do....but you need to look within, see what you need to work on it, and fix YOU, before you go trying to fix someone else. I'm not trying to be mean here, but you sound like a 13 year old yourself, sometimes. Oh, you have better grammar and writing skills, LOL, but I'm talking about mentality here....the way you view things. Fix yourself, take a good look at the other side of the fence. It's tough, because you're so young and you haven't had to deal with parenthood issues yet, but try to see the position you're putting your cousin, his wife, and their children in. If you don't, this will not work.
I promised myself I wouldn't respond to any more of your self indulgent, egotistical posts, but....
Welcome to the real world. It doesn't revolve around you and your wants. They did not want to talk to you. They did not answer. In your selfish response, you felt entitled to harrass your cousin's family until you frustrated them into being 'rude'. Then you get all indignant that this child spoke to you (I love his response btw) revealing the whole family's frustration with you.
-There are none so blind as he who refuses to see-
You come across as very pushy and entitled. I'm just being blunt. It's very possible that they don't want to get in it with you over the phone and are just hoping you take a hint.
Why don't you just plan something else. If they want you that bad they will call and ask, "where are you - I thought you were coming?".
I can tolerate my family visiting for about 3 days max. I love my family but would I want to deal with anyone actually living with me? No. Moving in with someone is a whole different ball game than just visiting. So if I were you, rather than wasting energy on calling them and waiting around for an answer, I'd get on with my life and make another plan.
^^^^ You might want to pay close attention to all the advice jkcoop has been given you. I'm not the only one here who's seeing some of these things. Heck, I've got a sister who STILL holds a major grudge, because she wanted to come stay with my family and I for a month. I told her no. It's been 3 years!! I discussed it with my family and they immediately locked up...the thought of having someone else here, especially someone with her personality, for even a month, set my kids into a state of stress and irritation. Just the very thought of having to completely change their lifestyles and share the house with another person was terribly upsetting to them. You throw someone with a "strong" personality into a home that has a way that they live, you're looking for trouble and some stormy seas ahead.
If you care about these people at all, you'll think about what you're doing here. I know you had plans, but again, it sounds like you've guilted them into making a decision that would only benefit you. They've got enough on their plates trying to make a living and raise their children.
Well, you asked OP, so I'll answer. You come off as obsessive and controlling. I've got an obsessive person in my family, and let me tell you, no one wants her around. Get some help. Forget about the move for now.
These people were most likely badgered and guilted into letting you come stay with them. Clearly, they are having second thoughts. At best, they wanted to have a peaceful (as peaceful as you CAN get when you've got children the age of thiers) holiday before their houseguest arrived. As for how their son spoke to you on the phone? Let me tell you something. You are going to be dealing with much, much more of this stuff when you move in. Whether you know it or not, you are putting those kids out by coming to stay with them. When you've got specific sleeping/living arrangements in a home, it is a HUGE inconvenience, to have an "outsider" come into your home to stay. Very few households, with children, adapt well to changes such as these and you can BET that 13 year old is already making some huge waves about it, and you're not even there yet. He's the oldest "dependant" male in the home and you are about to take that role away.
They already have one outsider living with them already and that is the neighbor who got kicked out and had no place to go and he's currently sleeping in the teenagers room and he is 18. The neighbor has been living there since Halloween and he can't leave the house until he finds himself a job and a place of his own as well. Yeah he maybe the oldest dependent in the house but I'm going to be independent. I've got my own entrance to the house, my own sectioned off area of the house, own parking spot, etc. I'm only living there until I find a job, and place of my own if I can't do that within 6 months I'm moving back here.
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You need to think about this move and about how much work you're willing to put into bending yourself to fit into this family's "dynamics". You are not going there to FIX anything, and you better not try, or you're going to find yourself being asked to leave, right away! For all you know, someone in that family is reading CD (hey, it can happen) and they already know that you see the family as "needing your help". Parents don't appreciate that attitude much. I wish you luck OP, I really do....but you need to look within, see what you need to work on it, and fix YOU, before you go trying to fix someone else. I'm not trying to be mean here, but you sound like a 13 year old yourself, sometimes. Oh, you have better grammar and writing skills, LOL, but I'm talking about mentality here....the way you view things. Fix yourself, take a good look at the other side of the fence. It's tough, because you're so young and you haven't had to deal with parenthood issues yet, but try to see the position you're putting your cousin, his wife, and their children in. If you don't, this will not work.
Actually they aren't technologically savvy so they wouldn't go to a website like this anyways.
They already have one outsider living with them already and that is the neighbor who got kicked out and had no place to go and he's currently sleeping in the teenagers room and he is 18. The neighbor has been living there since Halloween and he can't leave the house until he finds himself a job and a place of his own as well. Yeah he maybe the oldest dependent in the house but I'm going to be independent. I've got my own entrance to the house, my own sectioned off area of the house, own parking spot, etc. I'm only living there until I find a job, and place of my own if I can't do that within 6 months I'm moving back here.
The neighbor probably respects the rules of the house and isn't there to change the kids. Besides that, they probably know the neighbor a lot better than you.
Just because they already have someone there does NOT mean they want an additional person. I own 2 dogs and a cat; that doesn't mean that I am open to suddenly taking in more animals. Taking in a person is a huge burden and maybe they don't want another person in the house.
Yep, now I remember a post where you talked about this person...a thread, in fact. Wow, you think using a different door makes a difference?! Honey, you are clearly clueless and I really feel sorry for you. You have so much to learn about life. Someday, I hope you'll look back on this situation and be able to say, "Whoa....LOL, was I ever clueless!" A different door and your own parking space....no job, but independant. Wow...., just wow. LOL
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