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Like for example; I have relatives like my Aunt(who is like the 2nd mother), My uncle(my father figure), Great Aunt, and a few others that's been knowing that I can take care of myself(such as me knowing when to brush my teeth. wash my clothes, groom myself and a few other things) since I was 8 or 9 years old. Unfortentantly, my does not recognize that and even though I'm 23 she still is trying to be a mother to me like I'm back in elementary and despite a few others like my relatives or her friends suggesting to her(mom) that I'm not a kid anymore she always like to come up with any excuse to keep continuing this cycle. Sure, she is a mother however I believe that parents should "let go" their sons or daughters. Especially when they want their sons or daughters to become responsibile on their own.
Last edited by Blackandgold51; 03-22-2011 at 06:24 AM..
Well speaking as a mother sometimes we mother our kids when they are older. Are you in your own place? You speak of an aunt and uncle being like a 2nd mother and father. Maybe your mom feels pushed out? I don't know how your relationship has been with her over the years but I do know that if moms feel like their children have replaced them with someone else it makes them hang on. I did not have a particularly warm and fuzzy relationship with my mom growing up and she certainly had competition from others for my affection.
Yes, parents very often see their children as children until they move out and become independent adults.
Even if you're 50 and move back in with parents, they'll pick up where they left off and tell you it's time for bed and so on. The only solution is to leave the nest.
Well speaking as a mother sometimes we mother our kids when they are older. Are you in your own place? You speak of an aunt and uncle being like a 2nd mother and father. Maybe your mom feels pushed out? I don't know how your relationship has been with her over the years but I do know that if moms feel like their children have replaced them with someone else it makes them hang on. I did not have a particularly warm and fuzzy relationship with my mom growing up and she certainly had competition from others for my affection.
You know what, I think of what your saying is probably the reason why my mom needs to still treat me like a child even though I'm still doing some things on my own. Ever since 2000(during the time when I was in 6th grade before I went to 7th grade) I haven't been living with my mother and before 2000 I have been mostly living with my Grandmother and Grandfather since my mom kept moving so much she didn't want me to keep moving with her since she thought it would be better for me to be in one place while I was in elementary. I think it's probably that she's trying to make up for her motherhood since she missed out most of the time that she didn't have with me.
You know what, I think of what your saying is probably the reason why my mom needs to still treat me like a child even though I'm still doing some things on my own. Ever since 2000(during the time when I was in 6th grade before I went to 7th grade) I haven't been living with my mother and before 2000 I have been mostly living with my Grandmother and Grandfather since my mom kept moving so much she didn't want me to keep moving with her since she thought it would be better for me to be in one place while I was in elementary. I think it's probably that she's trying to make up for her motherhood since she missed out most of the time that she didn't have with me.
I think it's more likely that she still views you the same as you were when you stopped living with her. My sister was like that. She went away to college when I was entering the 7th grade. In her mind, I stayed in the 7th grade for eternity. It wasn't until I was in my early 30s, she suddenly realized I wasn't a kid anymore. We taking a walk together and she was talking about a problem she was having. When I offered advice, she turned and looked at me in amazement, like it was the first time she realized that I was an intelligent adult, and asked me, "When did you grow up and get so smart?" Give your mother time. Her mind is stuck in a time warp. She'll eventually realize that you're an adult now.
You know what, I think of what your saying is probably the reason why my mom needs to still treat me like a child even though I'm still doing some things on my own. Ever since 2000(during the time when I was in 6th grade before I went to 7th grade) I haven't been living with my mother and before 2000 I have been mostly living with my Grandmother and Grandfather since my mom kept moving so much she didn't want me to keep moving with her since she thought it would be better for me to be in one place while I was in elementary. I think it's probably that she's trying to make up for her motherhood since she missed out most of the time that she didn't have with me.
I think so but you know my mom is 75 and she still will give me advice... I try to just let it slide off my back. Moms really are always moms. My oldest is 16 and I still say stuff and he rolls his eyes at me.
Well speaking as a mother sometimes we mother our kids when they are older. Are you in your own place? You speak of an aunt and uncle being like a 2nd mother and father. Maybe your mom feels pushed out? I don't know how your relationship has been with her over the years but I do know that if moms feel like their children have replaced them with someone else it makes them hang on. I did not have a particularly warm and fuzzy relationship with my mom growing up and she certainly had competition from others for my affection.
I agree. Some of us were discussing this at work recently. We spent 18 years doing this parenting stuff; it's hard to stop abruptly. I don't mind my kids telling me to back off, but it's hard to break old habits.
Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute
Yes, parents very often see their children as children until they move out and become independent adults.
Even if you're 50 and move back in with parents, they'll pick up where they left off and tell you it's time for bed and so on. The only solution is to leave the nest.
Not in all cases, but yeah, leaving the nest helps.
I think it's more likely that she still views you the same as you were when you stopped living with her. My sister was like that. She went away to college when I was entering the 7th grade. In her mind, I stayed in the 7th grade for eternity. It wasn't until I was in my early 30s, she suddenly realized I wasn't a kid anymore. We taking a walk together and she was talking about a problem she was having. When I offered advice, she turned and looked at me in amazement, like it was the first time she realized that I was an intelligent adult, and asked me, "When did you grow up and get so smart?" Give your mother time. Her mind is stuck in a time warp. She'll eventually realize that you're an adult now.
That's a very valid point. My husband quit talking to his mom when he was 17. He's 35 now and they've recently started talking to each other again. I thought it was funnier than anything when we were getting ready to leave her house and she asked if he needed to weewee before we left.
I'm mean...every time he headed to the bathroom for a month after that I asked if he needed to weewee.
But I did make a point of showing his mom all the photo albums from the years she missed, so she'd see that he'd become an adult in the time they hadn't spoken. It didn't help though...she got really mad instead.
LOL, I am 49 and my mother still thinks I am a child.
kill me now.
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