How do people deal with so many kids (ideas, punish, allowance)
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Not one of us kids has more than 2 children ourselves. My Mom kept an immaculate house, kept us kids clean and fed, but money was ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS a problem. I think the stress of taking care of so many kids, and the worries about finances, made her fly off the handle constantly. Looking back, I'm filled with memories of her being angry a lot, and one (or more) of us kids getting into trouble for something on a daily basis.
I decided that things were going to be different when I became a mother. My 2 sons were planned for and very much wanted...I had NO desire to have 6 children based on my own childhood.
OMG... we're DEFINITELY sisters! Too many kids, never enough money, mom flying off the handle, and SOMEONE always in trouble, real and made up (IMO).
Only 4 of us have kids, 2 had 3 kids, 1 had 1 kid, 1 had 2.
i aint got no babies in my house.....i plan on spending time with them and disciplinong dem.i plan on takin em hunting fishin an shootin guns and drinkin with them at my house
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Originally Posted by Westerntraveler
It aint no joke.Im completely serious
Quote:
Originally Posted by Westerntraveler
I turn 21 in august i am in college.....i plan on writing mainly novels.
i aint got no babies in my house.....i plan on spending time with them and disciplinong dem.i plan on takin em hunting fishin an shootin guns and drinkin with them at my house
Don't tell me, you're also going to arrange a marriage with your first cousin's kids, too....huh?
I agree with others that the parents expect the oldest children to help raise the younger ones. A friend of mine whom I don't really talk to much anymore is pregnant with her 5th child. Financially she is a mess and the last thing she needs is to bring another baby into the world. I asked her how she was going to manage it and her response was that the older children will help out. Financially she takes advantage of any free program she can get her hands on. At Christmas she lets it slip to her kid's teachers about how things are tight and she usually gets some sort of assistance via Goodfellows or donations. The oldest boy is the only one that ever gets anything new. Whatever he outgrows goes to the younger kids.
I know one of those.
She has 4 kids and doesn't work. Her husband does. She just had a baby less than 6 months ago and wants another one. She often talks about how they are struggling and how they can't fix their car because they have no money. Yet she wants as many children as she can possibly have because "God will provide!" I guess that is a new name for taxpayers nowadays.
She has 4 kids and doesn't work. Her husband does. She just had a baby less than 6 months ago and wants another one. She often talks about how they are struggling and how they can't fix their car because they have no money. Yet she wants as many children as she can possibly have because "God will provide!" I guess that is a new name for taxpayers nowadays.
If she actually had to go out and get a job AND raise those children, she might feel a little different about popping out a new child ever year! The Duggers seem to be able to make it work...it's certainly not for me. I do find it disgusting when people are living off of the system and don't have enough sense to either use birth control or abstain from sex if they're unable to use BC. That's about as appealing as a woman having a half a dozen kids, all with different dads, or men who have a litter of kids with multiple women, and don't pay child support.
Even families with only a "few" kids usually have the older ones help out with the younger children. When children have NO responsibilities for doing anything--like helping take out the garbage, set the table, help with dishes, help with yard work, pick up after themselves, put their dirty clothes in the hamper, etc. they grow up thinking everything will be taken care for them. When there are many children, like half a dozen or more, the only way to manage that size family is with team work--everyone having their assigned duties and Mom and Dad being the benevolent dictators in keeping everything running as smoothly as possible.
Even families with only a "few" kids usually have the older ones help out with the younger children. When children have NO responsibilities for doing anything--like helping take out the garbage, set the table, help with dishes, help with yard work, pick up after themselves, put their dirty clothes in the hamper, etc. they grow up thinking everything will be taken care for them. When there are many children, like half a dozen or more, the only way to manage that size family is with team work--everyone having their assigned duties and Mom and Dad being the benevolent dictators in keeping everything running as smoothly as possible.
Yes and sometimes half the fun is in not having everything kept running as smoothly as possible.
Okay - so the house isn't immaculate, and the kids aren't always perfect and the parakeet is angrily mimicking the bickering kids and barking dog -- just adding to the noise and chaos. The kids learn to wear hand-me-downs and squabble and learn to work things out, become immune to bullying later in life. You sure do miss it all when the kids finally move out. My dad says he still can't stand a quiet house, and fondly remembers the clutter and noise.
My sister described her empty nest breakdown being the one thing she griped about for 20 some years -- just once she wanted every dish to be clean and in the cupboard. Then the day that it happened was the day after the last one packed up and left, the dishes were done and put away, and then when she came home from work the next day she saw they still were all put away and it made her cry. She said the irony was the thing that brought her to tears was the very thing she thought she would love to have but it was a clean empty quiet house that did her in.
The one way to handle a large family is enjoy your kids when they are little, and enjoy having them around when they are a little older and keep in mind they're going to be gone someday. You can never get those days back so savor the moments.
Nope, not confined to large families. But I think one shouldn't be surprised to find that this happens with people from large families.
But it happens with small families too. So the problem isn't the size of the family, it's the way the family functions.
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