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What annoys me the most are the holier-than-thou judgmental types who treat you like you're the worst parent in the world if you aren't co-sleeping, baby wearing, exclusively breastfeeding, cloth diapering, and making homemade baby food.
I have nothing against any of those things and do some of them myself, but come on... whatever happened to "you do what works for your family, and I'll do what works for mine."
Oh - and after my second daughter.... "So are you going to try for a boy now?"
Very few things annoy me as a parent more than hearing other parents say things like these to their (or any other) kids:
"Billie, you see that man up on the cross? He died for your sins."
"Billie, This man Noah took two of every animal and put them on a ship for 40 days and 40 nights."
What gets me is how people think they need to make a statement about your children if they appear not to be the same race. Adopted or otherwise, your kids are your kids.
Also as an adoptive parent why do people assume you can't "have children of your own"?
Some people just want to adopt. Why is that so difficult to understand?
And do you really think adoptive parents don't regard their children as their "own"?
What gets me is how people think they need to make a statement about your children if they appear not to be the same race. Adopted or otherwise, your kids are your kids.
Also as an adoptive parent why do people assume you can't "have children of your own"?
Some people just want to adopt. Why is that so difficult to understand?
And do you really think adoptive parents don't regard their children as their "own"?
Well don't get me started.
That is extremely rude, and would ***** me off as well. If somebody introduces their child as their son/daughter, even if they are obviously not blood related, for goodness sakes, if they say that's their child, that's their child. Don't ask any stupid questions.
I've had people come up to me and ask me if my daughter's father is white, or if she's biracial, (I'm black), because she's lighter complexion than me and has long curly hair. In fact, her father is as black as I am, and I don't know why people think all black people are supposed to look alike. The worst comments I get are, "Oh she's so cute! Her father must be white." Like two black people can't make a beautiful child. Don't even get me started on that, but the other things like unsolicited judgmental opinions from strangers, or strangers who feel like they can just walk up and touch your baby and coo all in her face, are pretty annoying as well.
my fiance and I have a baby, I am white male, she is Chinese( yes female ) our child looks Chinese, I always get "oh thats her child, are you going to adopt her?"
the child really does have some of my features, her eye color, nose and general facial look is white, like her mother she has almond shaped eyes , dark complection, and black hair.
I mean how many Asians do you see with a nose bridge or hazel eyes?
I love hearing all of these. I can relate to some of them. I thought this would be a good place to get it out and vent.
I have a very close friend who is like a sister to me. She doesn't post on here, so I will do it for her since I know this is a common issue. She was born to be a mom. It is just in her. She wanted kids sooooo bad. It would tear me up to hear her talking about wanting kids so bad, but all of her trying wasn't working. I could relate since I thought I wouldn't be able to have kids. They were trying and meanwhile they kept getting the question of "You have been together so long, when are you finally going to get serious and have kids?" Every time she heard that, it would destroy her. I would support her as well as I could, but every time I was with her when she got asked that question, I wanted to scream at the inconsiderate jerk who asked.
Slightly OT: When dd was about 6 months, we went to a family reunion for DH's family. I was feeling pretty good about myself because even though I had an emergency C-section and some issues after her birth, I was back down to my pre-pregnancy size except for a small pooch left over. At the reunion, I decided to wear a little black dress that fit me pretty well. A woman came up to me later in the night, rubbed my belly and said "oh! It looks like your DD is gonna get a brother or sister soon." Since I was at a family reunion, I didn't want to play along and have it spread around that I was having another baby, but I also didn't want her to feel bad by denying it. I was just frozen in place. Luckily, MIL walked up right then and when the woman repeated it, MIL just smiled and said "Oh. They will have baby #2 when they are ready. Unfortunately, since num1baby had those medical issues after having the baby she is feeling a bit tired. I am going to find a place for her to lie down for a bit. She is finally able to excersize and I am afraid she may have overdone it." The woman got the point. I don't think she has ever made that assumption again. I love my MIL for things like that.
Heh - when I would carry the baby while we were shopping, and someone would come up to us and coo and stay how adorable the baby is, and how we must be so proud to be his mothers (plural). And we'd roll our eyes and say no - she's not mine. She's HERS..and they would then murmur about how lucky she is to afford a nanny these days.
That was when my godson was born; it was inevitable that people would just automatically assume we were a lesbian couple. And then if that didn't pan out, clearly I was the nanny. I never understood why people would make these assumptions. Because obviously, it isn't even remotely possible that a woman could be capable of helping to raise her best friend's son, without the need to have sex with said best friend, or take payment from said best friend.
Thanks for the Reps whoever repped me. But I'm still not buying that one has more downtime when working than when not while raising children.
I was on the PTA board; the board of my son's swim team;volunteered at the school; taught Bible School and Sunday School ~ I did it all and with a full time job.
It wouldn't really be an issue for me if the people mentioned before didn't try the whole 'I'm busier than you" routine with me. First of all, I hate that routine. Second of all there is no way they can out 'busy' me. Especially when I call them at 10:00 am and they are still in bed and I've already put in half a day.
-When my son was a baby I rocked him to sleep every night to music. He didn't need it, I just wanted to. It was our quiet bonding time. My mother n law told me I would regret it. I would never be able to put him to sleep. For some reason me rocking my son to sleep really bothered her. She mentioned it a lot. I was making a big mistake blah blah. I continued this tradition well on into his toddler years. We have a big leather lazy boy chair and I would tuck him in next to me, turn the lights down and put on a music CD. We would just rock to the music. lol. Sometimes he fell asleep and other times he was still awake when I told him it was time for bed. He never fussed. He went straight to bed happy and tired. My son is now a teen and plays the drums, the trumpet and bass guitar. He still loves music and now rocks to his ipod in that same lazy boy chair. lol.
He is our only child. For about the first 5 yrs I was hounded on when I was going to have another. Some people were shocked when I said I wasn't. Some were actually cruel and said I was selfish. My mother n law (ya she has a lot to say over the years) said that you have the first child for yourself, you have the second child for your first. Whatever.
What gets me is how people think they need to make a statement about your children if they appear not to be the same race. Adopted or otherwise, your kids are your kids.
Also as an adoptive parent why do people assume you can't "have children of your own"?
Some people just want to adopt. Why is that so difficult to understand?
And do you really think adoptive parents don't regard their children as their "own"?
Well don't get me started.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. So true.
My DH adopted my sons from a previous marriage. So many people - including his own family! - told him and the boys that he "wasn't their REAL father". No, their biological father didn't want them, wouldn't support them, and abused them - their adoptive father was a REAL father who played ball with them, was their Boy Scout leader, taught them how to work on cars, treat women with respect, and he loved and supported them!
Both my DH and I were short dark-haired, dark-eyed Irish people. Later, the daughter we had together was a tall, thin blue-eyed blonde. (Hey, it skipped a generation, OK? My mom and his mom!) So people who didn't know DH had adopted the boys would say things like - "Well, you can't claim HER but the boys look, act, talk and walk like their daddy!"
We had to teach all of our kids that most people just have to run their yip, and not to let any of it bug them. We were and are a family, and that is that.
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For some reason me rocking my son to sleep really bothered her. She mentioned it a lot. I was making a big mistake blah blah. I continued this tradition well on into his toddler years. We have a big leather lazy boy chair and I would tuck him in next to me, turn the lights down and put on a music CD. We would just rock to the music. lol. Sometimes he fell asleep and other times he was still awake when I told him it was time for bed. He never fussed. He went straight to bed happy and tired. My son is now a teen and plays the drums, the trumpet and bass guitar. He still loves music and now rocks to his ipod in that same lazy boy chair. lol. 
