Do you expect help from your parents?

[Kibbiekat]

I wouldn't let my parents pay for summer camps, but I'd let them babysit. I know they loved it when we lived near them, and I know they wish they could do it now. In all of these conversations that you are overhearing, how do you know that these parents "expect" help from the grandparents.

[hlsess]

some grandparents are wealthy and like to help their kids and grandkids so you shouldn't judge people- it isn't any of your business!!

[carolinacool]

Originally Posted by passwithoutatrace

However, I don't think it terrible to ask for help when it is needed and it's also fine to graciously accept any gifts that are freely given.

This I agree with. My parents are not rich by any means, but they bought my son's nursery furniture (within reason) and have been generous for the two birthdays and Christmases he has had. The live two hours away and still work full time, but I know if they lived closer, the would be happy to baby sitting a few times a month, but they are also young and active, too, and have things they want to do.

I DO think some people expect help. I was on a parenting board last week and this woman was complaining that her mother lived in town and didn't want to watch her grandchild full time so they didn't have to use day care. And there were even people agreeing with her, calling the grandma "selfish."

[NYMD67]

This is my OP... nowhere in my post am I judging anyone, or criticizing anyone. I simply said that I was PART OF A CONVERSATION (with yes,me,mainly listening) only because I didn't really have anything to contribute... and after hearing many conversations in recent months about things that other people's families do, it became very clear that some of these people just do expect things, kind of like this is the way that it always has been & will continue to be.
I was simply asking a question "Do you expect help from your parents?".
I wonder why people on here are so quick to judge & think that just because someone starts a thread that they are judging people. I am not doing that , that was never the intention of my post and if you re-read it, I think it is clear.

It.was.Just.a.question. Not.a.Judgement.Not.A.Statement about anyone.



At pick up at our children's school, there are many opportunities for parents to have idle chit-chat before the kids are dismissed and I hear many different things...
This time of year of course with Summer coming & school ending, many people are talking about Summer plans,etc....
After a conversation (well, me listening mainly ), it got me thinking about something that I hear quite often.

I am so surprised by the amount of "help" that grown people receive from their parents and more so surprised that it seems to be kind of expected.
We do not live near any family, so I am very use to doing most things on my own. We don't have "date" nights by our own fault of not getting a babysitter, but obviously don't have a "free" one available and we never do anything pretty much w/out our daughters.
We were talking about Summer camps the other day, and quite a few of the parents (mom's) remarked that their children were going to this camp or that camp, but that their parents were paying for it for them, as a "end of the school year congrats gift!". Wow. Has anyone checked out the prices of Summer Camps lately? not inexpensive and certainly not if you are doing it for more than 1 child.
More & more I hear about parents who help pay for their grandchildren's pre-school or buying them their "back to school wardrobe" or paying for this activity or that activity and I am amazed.
I think maybe more amazed that people actually "let" their parents take on these kind of expenses.
I don't know, maybe if I were closer (meaning distance wise) to my parents, I would be more apt to think differently, but I can't imagine my parents ever first of all, OFFERING to pay for Summer camp for our children and secondly, accepting it. I would not be comfortable at all with that , knowing they are on a fixed income,etc... the struggles with social security, things like that.
I don't know that my parents could offer to do such a thing anyway's, but it is shocking the amount of grandparents that seem to do so.
Many people talk about taking big family trips in which their parents are paying for, a gift to the whole family. My parents have never offered to do anything like that, and again, I can't imagine them doing so or us accepting it. (I guess it would be different if I knew that my parents were VERY financially able) but I would always still worry, what if something happened to their health or what happens when they can no longer take care of themselves and long term living is needed, things like that.
Knowing that my parents helped foot the bill for Summer Camp or my kids wardrobes would constantly be in the back of my mind.

One of our neighbors' parents even helped them re-finish their basement so that the kids could have a "nicer" play area in the Winter months? that seems excessive to me.

It is so obvious how people do the things they can do today if more people are getting "help" like that, but I guess I am just shocked that it seems to be a common thing & that the attitude is mainly very nonchalant like it isn't a big deal, kind of, expected?

I am assuming that the grandparents are obviously able to do such things and most are probably doing it because they really want to be. I think that is wonderful I just hope that it is appreciated as it should be.