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Hard to tell.
I have seen less severe cases where the woman was so in love, she was blind to the abuse, or trusted the man when he said he wouldn't do it again.. and again.. and again..
Others may have been abused themselves, and find hitting and red marks normal. Nothing like that is an excuse though.
This is why mothers should not date. When dh and I separated, I read that a child is 39 times more likely to be abused when mom starts dating. I think that's the stat for sexual abuse but I'm sure abuse goes up too. The child is baggage to the new lover and you have to ask yourself what kind of man is attracted to a woman with baggage?
For this reason, I would not have dated had dh and I gone through with the divorce. At least not anyone I hadn't known for a LONG LONG TIME and men don't tend to hang around if they ain't getting any so, probably not at all until the kids were out of the house and then I would have been too old...Oh well.
This is why mothers should not date. When dh and I separated, I read that a child is 39 times more likely to be abused when mom starts dating. I think that's the stat for sexual abuse but I'm sure abuse goes up too. The child is baggage to the new lover and you have to ask yourself what kind of man is attracted to a woman with baggage?
For this reason, I would not have dated had dh and I gone through with the divorce. At least not anyone I hadn't known for a LONG LONG TIME and men don't tend to hang around if they ain't getting any so, probably not at all until the kids were out of the house and then I would have been too old...Oh well.
Don't you just want to shout this from a mountain somewhere?
I agree. A mother's first duty is to her children. Sounds like she did not take care of hers.
I mean of course not to heap on the mother because she did not do this but come on...previous injuries, he has prior children taken..man I am just so upset.
This is why mothers should not date. When dh and I separated, I read that a child is 39 times more likely to be abused when mom starts dating. I think that's the stat for sexual abuse but I'm sure abuse goes up too. The child is baggage to the new lover and you have to ask yourself what kind of man is attracted to a woman with baggage?
For this reason, I would not have dated had dh and I gone through with the divorce. At least not anyone I hadn't known for a LONG LONG TIME and men don't tend to hang around if they ain't getting any so, probably not at all until the kids were out of the house and then I would have been too old...Oh well.
Yes, the stats are terrible, and women should not be parading man after man before her children. Consideration for children should always be a priority, BUT.... to say that a mother should never date is unreasonable; just as it is unreasonable to assume that ALL men think of children as baggage getting in the way of his sex life. Of course some do, especially the players, but that's not a fair generalization to make about all men. I'm sure glad my mom dated after she divorced her first husband, who she had 2 daughters with. I wouldn't have been born otherwise, and my sisters and I wouldn't have had the awesome dad that we did.
This is very tragic, but I don't think a blanket statement can be made that "mothers shouldn't date." The majority of men a single mom might date aren't going to do anything like this. I think a mom can date and be smart about it - like meet the man at the restaurant, not introduce him to her kids right away, not leave her kids alone with the guy.
Don't you just want to shout this from a mountain somewhere?
Yes. I really don't get mothers putting their love lives ahead of their children.
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