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confused, figure out how to get out of the house and start your life. sounds like your folks will never be kind and understanding with you, or will they leave your past in the past. you have nothing to be ashamed of nor have you done anything wrong, you were, are a teenager. part of growing up is making mistakes and learning from them. it is a hard transition from kid to adult especially without the love and support from your parents. sound like your life will be emotionally so much better once you are on your own. do you have friends you can live with? no anyone who needs a roommate?
Your mom is an abusive person. That's evident... Please don't listen to some of the posters meaness on here. Those people are acting just like your mother and some of the things said on here is just plain stupidity. A lot of people who post on here don't even know what they are talking about and take pleasure in being cruel to others.
I urge you to try and find a job so you can move out. You could try and find a roommate. Your parents will never change. You probably won't be able to count on them for emotional support.It's time to start being your own person and become independent. Could you possible move in with other family members by stating that you just want a change in your life? You can also tell them that you would pay rent,etc. You don't have to say anything about how your parents are. I don't think it is necessary to say anything and obviously it won't accomplish anything by telling your other family members how your parents treat you.
If it was an honest mistake then I apologize. I just found it strange is all.
The bottom line is that you are living in your parents house, eating their food and running up their bills so you are obligated to obey their rules.
There is no excuse for not respecting your parents. By disobeying their rules you are disrespecting them. If you don't like it, then get a job and move out. It's not that difficult.
You said that you don't have a job. Did you pay for the cell phone & laptop? Do you pay for the cell phone bill? If not, then those items are not yours. Why should you be rewarded with laptop & cell phone if you can't respect your parents & obey their rules? Do you expect life to be handed to you on a silver platter? If so, you are in for a for a shock. Life is not easy for anyone and you are setting yourself up for future failure.
There's no excuse for an 18 year old to not to have a job.Why don't you have a summer job? Are you looking for one? Quite frankly, if you are not responsible enough to have a job, you have no business having a boyfriend. What if you get pregnant? How would you support the child? Will you expect your parents to pay for it?
Instead of blaming others for your problems you need to take a hard look at yourself and grow up and make changes. Everyone makes mistakes but it's just completely foolish to continue to make the same mistakes.
Go get a job and take steps to further your education. sign up at a temp agency if you can't find something permanent. Find a place to volunteer at. Helping others will help you to build your self-esteem and get your mind off your problems.
Change is hard but you must do it if you hope to be successful in life.
OP, I think this person might be your mother undercover.
OP, are you graduated from high school? If I missed your answer on this I apologize. I think you need to get out of that house. I am only guessing here but are you the child she was pregnant with at 17? If so, she may harbor some bad feelings and passing those onto you. I moved out of my mother's home at 17.
Here are some suggestions for your escape. Think about college as well.
Location: Currently I physically reside on the 3rd planet from the sun
2,220 posts, read 1,878,203 times
Reputation: 886
Quote:
Originally Posted by confused&pained
I am an 18 year old girl living with her parents, but doesn't know how to handle it anymore.
My parents, while they aren't horrible, are very rude and mean to me.
When I was 16 I made the mistake of losing my virginity. I thought the guy was trustworthy, but he wasn't. In fact the next day he tried to sleep with
my best friend. He also didn't tell me about a "little" problem he had.
About six months later I had a pretty bad sinus infection and cold. After I was recovering I noticed a little bump on my bikini line. It worried me because at the time I didn't shave. I went to my gynecologist a few weeks later and she informed me that I had HPV. It was hard hitting news and I knew I had to tell my parents. That same day I told them. They were both angry and disappointed. I understood that.
What I don't understand is that my mom will rub it in my face many times.
A few weeks after, she was mad at me and yelling that I was lazy and spent all my time on my backside.
She also has asked me at least fives times, "Who would want you?"......
Recently I have gotten a new boyfriend, who knows about it. We spent the weekend together while my parents were away, and they found out. They were very angry, which I understand, but my moms has started her scathing comments again. About how I "need to get tested because who knows what that boy has", "you need to go to the health department"....and many other unnecessary and hurtful remarks.
While I realize I made a mistake then, I don't understand why she feels the right to degrade me and use that against me when i do something wrong. It really breaks me a little inside every time she says something like this.
I'm the one who has to live with this condition and the one who is living with it. I don't ***** my self about and act or dress sluttily.
There are also times when she just acts so hateful. She'll yell. Take my cell phone and laptop when she says I "talk back". Which I really don't do.
I just don't know what to do?
I can't move out because I don't have a job and even if I did I couldn't afford an apartment. I can't move in with anyone else like family because they wouldn't take me in and think my parents are just so nice and caring.
I'm just tired and would really like some advice, can anyone help?
Miss, I would just like to say 2 things.
1. You are responsible for your situation regardless what anyone else says. You made your choice, own it, accept it and move on.
2. Your parents are abusive and there is no excuse for their behavior.
That said, your life is not over and you are not a bad person.
Someone gave you some good advice, talk to a social worker, college counselor, therapist or someone that can make sure you have the medical and social resources you need to be safe. Many, Many, Many people live normal, happy, productive lives with similar situations.
Your parents have issues. Realize those issues are their issues, not yours. You are not a bad person. You made a mistake. Someone please show me a person who has not made mistakes in their lives. We learn, grow and move on.
Focus on your education, that is what will put you in a position to be independent of your abusive parents. Also, an educated young lady who knows her value and her values and is self-sufficient will attract a different class of young man.
Along the same lines, actively choose good friends. Those are friends that typically have some quality, habit or conduct you admire. Surround yourself with friends you respect and admire. People you would like to be like.
Best of luck.
Again, you are probably an awesome person who deserves the best out of life. I'm sorry your parents act the way they do, but don't let their bad behavior limit you or your future.
I am an 18 year old girl living with her parents, but doesn't know how to handle it anymore.
My parents, while they aren't horrible, are very rude and mean to me.
When I was 16 I made the mistake of losing my virginity. I thought the guy was trustworthy, but he wasn't. In fact the next day he tried to sleep with
my best friend. He also didn't tell me about a "little" problem he had.
About six months later I had a pretty bad sinus infection and cold. After I was recovering I noticed a little bump on my bikini line. It worried me because at the time I didn't shave. I went to my gynecologist a few weeks later and she informed me that I had HPV. It was hard hitting news and I knew I had to tell my parents. That same day I told them. They were both angry and disappointed. I understood that.
What I don't understand is that my mom will rub it in my face many times.
A few weeks after, she was mad at me and yelling that I was lazy and spent all my time on my backside.
She also has asked me at least fives times, "Who would want you?"......
Recently I have gotten a new boyfriend, who knows about it. We spent the weekend together while my parents were away, and they found out. They were very angry, which I understand, but my moms has started her scathing comments again. About how I "need to get tested because who knows what that boy has", "you need to go to the health department"....and many other unnecessary and hurtful remarks.
While I realize I made a mistake then, I don't understand why she feels the right to degrade me and use that against me when i do something wrong. It really breaks me a little inside every time she says something like this.
I'm the one who has to live with this condition and the one who is living with it. I don't ***** my self about and act or dress sluttily.
There are also times when she just acts so hateful. She'll yell. Take my cell phone and laptop when she says I "talk back". Which I really don't do.
I just don't know what to do?
I can't move out because I don't have a job and even if I did I couldn't afford an apartment. I can't move in with anyone else like family because they wouldn't take me in and think my parents are just so nice and caring.
I'm just tired and would really like some advice, can anyone help?
Was your Mom different before this incident? Did you have a good relationship before telling them about the hpv? Is she totally different from what she used to be like?
Not too much different...I mean they told me before it happened that they didn't trust me....I guess that just sort of made them bring up their distrust more....
My mom has never been the loving or trusting type. She's always been the one to discipline and flip out angrily over the tiniest things....
Like yesterday we were talking about my aunts wedding that's coming up in September and she turn something stupid into something big...
I'm going to be a bridesmaid so I've been helping my aunt think of things she wants..I went shopping with her and she found some invitations she really likes and she said those were the ones she wanted to show her fiance.
Well my mom picked up these invitations that were pink and black when we were shopping at hobby lobby. I told her my aunt had already decided which ones she liked and my mom said "she told me she hadn't decided anything", and then when I told her my aunt called me to ask where we saw the invitations she liked and I told my aunt she said," you just don't like it because I found them on sell, I can't trust anything you say because you lie so much. Go away I don't want to look at you."
I mean sometimes she's nice and we can laugh about something but most times she's being hateful and mean.....
Events like the one above happen a lot
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It was hard hitting news and I knew I had to tell my parents. That same day I told them. They were both angry and disappointed. I understood that.
