How are kids supposed to behavie when they are visitors? (average, game)

[Woundedknee]

Originally Posted by Momma_bear

School aged kids should not need adults to entertain them. Kids that age should be able to behave themselves while the adults visit with one another. These are not toddlers.

I remember the "be seen not heard" attitude. Sit up straight fingers crossed eyes forward...blah blah blah.

I believe this is the reason I'm often a bad cup of coffee away from having a misanthropic day

[Kibbiekat]

Originally Posted by Woundedknee

I remember the "be seen not heard" attitude. Sit up straight fingers crossed eyes forward...blah blah blah.

I believe this is the reason I'm often a bad cup of coffee away from having a misanthropic day

there is a lot of room between what you describe and what the OP described.

[auntieannie68]

Originally Posted by chapter119

Well the problem is that I don't think that my brother/sis in law think that the kids are behaving all that badly. In fact, I think they think they are actually behaving pretty well "considering that they are out of their element and wound up", as they put it.

This last visit, my brother approached me and said "What is John's problem? Why is he being such a jerk?" This was in response to my husband John telling the kids to stop running around the house, terrorizing the dogs, banging on the doors, etc.

So I have my husband pissed off because these kids are not behaving properly in our house.

I have my bro/sis in law pissed off b/c my husband is getting angry/in bad mood with their kids.

And I am hiding in a corner with high blood pressure.

I don't think my brother and sis-in-law "gets it".

sounds like they need to get to a hotel----i have asked guests to leave
when they have refused to follow house rules and if that upsets your brother so be it---feeling sorry for the kids-----how much worse will it be if they destroy something really expensive and your bro refuses to replace it???

[omigawd]

Originally Posted by Woundedknee

I remember the "be seen not heard" attitude. Sit up straight fingers crossed eyes forward...blah blah blah.

I believe this is the reason I'm often a bad cup of coffee away from having a misanthropic day

Well, this situation is completely different. No one is saying they should be "seen and not heard". people are simply stating the brats should have RESPECT for someone else's home.

I wonder what you would do if a relative brought their kids to your home and the kids tore it up, smeared food on your furniture, broke things, etc etc etc..... Gee, would you just smile and say "kids have to be kids"? I don't think so.

[pythonis]

when i was a kid my parents rule was simple: Dont make us regret bringing you.

[pythonis]

to the op id have no problem telling them to get their kids and not return until both their kids and themselves can show some common courtesy. id even hold the door open for them to let them know i wasnt playing.

[sheena12]

NOT NORMAL!!! No one needs to entertain these children! I can't believe one poster even suggested that!

kids who act like this either have - homes where they are not permitted to do anything so they go wild in other people's homes
OR Parents who let them go wild everywhere, because NOT PARENTING is easier than parenting.

I would tell them that the fun is over. If they can't behave the way young guests should behave, see them in a neutral place or at their home. Not yours.

You husband is right and you need to understand that this is his home. You should have respect for your own home and not permit this nonsense to continue.

[dr74]

Directed towards the OP..

I am sorry but I have to side with your husband on this one..
I am all for getting dirty to learn and fostering a healthy and exploratory learning experience..I.e. planting and getting filthy..doing a painting with chocolate pudding..finger painting with feet and allowing a child a learning experience however this is a question of ettiquette and this would not be tolerated anywhere let alone a preschool..

There must be order..and for safety reasons..as well as respect..
No running indoors at high speeds, save running for outside
no slamming doors this is just rude
no smearing food stuff everywhere, there is a designated place for eating (grazing) should be discouraged whenever possible
plus choking hazards can be a safety issue

Last but not least...no throwing anything at doors!!!!!!!!!!

[City_Viewer]

I am so sympathetic to this woman's plight, because my brother and his kids are the same way. To be honest, I think that they are worse behaved. Relatives who have objected how my neices behave are told by my brother and sister-in-law that they are cruel and materialistic because they do not allow the kids to freely "explore" their home, and overly value the integrity of their material items. It should be noted that everything in my brother's house is in shambles.
Since my bro and sis-in-law take everything personally, whether I say it or other relatives, and they think that their kids should not follow other peoples' rules, I don't tell them anything. Instead, at the start of their visit, I tell my neices the house rules. I say that I am very particular, but that is how it it. When they start to misbehave, I don't rely on my brother and sister-in-law, because as I said, they have screwy views about "rules." Instead, I try to nicely discipline them. I also plot to have them stay as little time as possible in my house, and instead go to the playground/restaurant/arcade place.
All of this is easier said than done. It is very hard to deal with people who have weird views (I guess they would say alternative views) of children's behavior.

[aklapps]

the things you say that they do are things that my 2 year old does and he doesnt even do them that often, ( he is more of a big mouth has no inside voice) and i would not let that kind of stuff happen in my house or in anyone elses house, i know it would be hard to say something but if things are getting broke in your house then it is time to say something to your brother and SIL.