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Old 08-03-2011, 07:48 AM
 
Location: Connecticut
2,727 posts, read 6,160,378 times
Reputation: 2004

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I'm sure if this should be under pregnancy, but I started it here.

I know the general rule is no second baby shower. Some exceptions might be say, if they have older kids (as in teens). But I am curious to know if this is changing or what.

A girl here at work has a 2 y/o with a second on the way. Her friend sent around an email last week that this week they were throwing her a shower. They were collecting money to buy the pizza/cake, giving her the remaining money PLUS wanted you to buy her a gift card. The reason given is "she is struggling financially". For the record, she is having the same gender baby so there is a lot she won't need to buy.

So today we get an email saying in a couple weeks they are having a shower for another girl having her second (same gender, child is almost 3). Obviously they are doing this because if you do for one you do for the other. It's being done the same way - asking for money to buy the food, then requesting you give her gift cards.

Now, MY feelings are "I gave for the first and I am not close with them, so I am not giving/attending for this one". Not to mention if I can't afford it, I just won't attend.

But is anyone else appalled by this or is it just me?
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Old 08-03-2011, 08:29 AM
 
Location: Swisshelm Park, Pittsburgh, PA
356 posts, read 917,940 times
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I don't think it is unreasonable for co-workers to do a shower with Pizza and Cake for a pregnant co-worker regardless of whether it is the first child or not. I do think it would be more appropriate for all the co-workers to go in together on one gift card, so that everyone can give as much or as little as they feel is appropriate.

Perhaps you could team up with a few of your co-workers and give a joint gift card so that no one looks particularly cheap.
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Old 08-03-2011, 08:42 AM
 
36,634 posts, read 30,953,043 times
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Quote:
But is anyone else appalled by this or is it just me?
I would be. Not sure why she is having another child if they are struggling financially.
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Old 08-03-2011, 08:45 AM
 
28,163 posts, read 25,347,888 times
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I'm appalled by many things in life. Celebrating a new baby? Not so much.
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Old 08-03-2011, 08:45 AM
 
Location: Connecticut
2,727 posts, read 6,160,378 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
I would be. Not sure why she is having another child if they are struggling financially.

Exactly.

Many people have said this (to each other). Everyone here was appalled by it and all said the same thing.

Note - these women and both having planned children. There were no surprises.
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Old 08-03-2011, 08:46 AM
 
Location: Connecticut
2,727 posts, read 6,160,378 times
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Celebrating a new baby is fine, but her friends should keep it amongst themselves if they want to throw her a second shower.
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Old 08-03-2011, 08:54 AM
 
28,163 posts, read 25,347,888 times
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Originally Posted by CTGirlNoMore View Post
Celebrating a new baby is fine, but her friends should keep it amongst themselves if they want to throw her a second shower.
Why?
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Old 08-03-2011, 08:56 AM
 
4,267 posts, read 6,190,352 times
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Appalled? No. Unneccessary? yes.

A few people wanted to throw me a baby shower for my 2nd and I said "no" because I didn't feel right about it. That and I don't care much for baby showers in general.

I think that going in on a gift certificate for a nice baby consignment shop is a good idea if people want to do something. That way people can give $1 or $20 and not feel pressured to do more.
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Old 08-03-2011, 08:58 AM
 
36,634 posts, read 30,953,043 times
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Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
Why?
Because generally co-workers dont like being put in an obligatory position of purchasing gifts for other co-workers.
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Old 08-03-2011, 09:03 AM
 
Location: Connecticut
2,727 posts, read 6,160,378 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
Why?
Because I think it's tacky to ask people to give her more gifts when they just threw her a shower a couple years ago.

If they wanna have a celebration, fine. But say "no gifts" and certainly don't ask us to pay for the party.
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