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Last night was a great example. Was at school all day and then a 6 hours shift at work. Came home late. I had to take two of the dogs out around 4 am. They scratch on the bedroom door to let me know. He would never hear this. Went downstairs to our dinner leftovers left out, a bowl of cereal without the milk and the front door left unlocked.
Just have to share a cute thing one of my dogs does now. She crawls in under the covers and then turns around laying beside me with her head on my pillow, covers over her. Pretty cute to wake up to that
I feel that for this first weekend away--you will need to hire someone--they will however not be able to hear the dogs in the early morning because they won't be there. I have just gone through a long terminal illness with my sweet 14 yr old shelti. Her sister is still with us, and has to go out multiple times a night. When you have pets you have responsibilites to them. Your son should have been given responsibilites for some of the care of these pets years ago.
That said whenever my son got a pet --he was responsible for it--from the time he was a pre-teen with gerbils and hermit crabs, he had to feed, water and clean their cages. He helped with the cats--but we got them before he was born. When he wanted a dog--we talked a long time about it. He agreed that he would share in the resposibility of feeding, walking and otherwise care for them. He did this, as a 15 yr. old cleaned out the crate of 2 shelti puppies, fed them in the morning before going to school, I fed them mid day again as pups--he fed them again at night-he played with them at night, helped me bathe and brush them. He also has been responsible for doing his own laundry since he was in 8th. grade, and keeping his room picked up--we have been fortunate however to have been able to have a maid at least every two weeks to do heavy cleaning--so that has not been a problem for him. When he finished hs, and went to college he couldn't take his dog, and later when he had his own home he wanted her but we could not split the two sisters.
Kids will not do what they are not expected to do or compelled to do. Your son seems to be able to get himself to school and work--because he wants to. Unless there is an an mental or physical problem he is certainly able to do all of the things that you are doing for him--he chooses not to, because you are doing them.
We had no qualms at all to leave him home alone at 17 or 18.
Get extra sets of keys--maybe it is time for your son to move to his own place with roomates, if need be, and learn to live on his own.
No curfew on a college kid is not needed. Let them know you expect they do their work and get good grades and to be quiet when they come in. If they break all that then by all means make it 9 pm :-D
For those that are parent's of an 18 year old still living at home, what do you think their curfew should be during the week when going to college and Friday and Sat nights?
Also, my husband and myself have not been away alone together for years and would love a break. It's our 20th next week and would love to get away for a weekend, but our son is not very responsible and we have animals to care for. Anyone had to deal with this situation? Just afraid he would forget to take out the dogs regularly and feed them as well as having people over doing who knows what and I would never know except if they damaged something or he left a mess. We really need to get away.
bbekity....At 18...if you want him to continue living at home....and you want to stay sane...there should be no curfew, .......as for going away for a holiday...haven't you got a friend or a family member who can stay at your place?
That was set forever ago and never changed.
It WOULD be hell if my mom still kept those rules on me.
And I think its a very good solution to the problems.
Set "quiet hours". From X-X and say if you come in during those times I better not hear you.
As for spending the night with friends/bf/gf I would say a simple "I am sleeping at X's house tonight" should suffice.
I have never in my life heard of a residential home with set "quiet hours." I lived at home on and off all through college until I was 23. My parents wanted to hear me come home so they'd know I was home safely.
I actually never had a set curfew. It was more important for my parents to know where I was and who I was with. As long as they knew that, they never told me when I had to be home. I say no curfew.
It sounds like your dogs require a lot of care, and it might be too much for someone going to school and working. I say board them somewhere or pay a pet sitter.
An 18 year old should be able to be left alone. Many at his age are living on their own.
bbekity....At 18...if you want him to continue living at home....and you want to stay sane...there should be no curfew, .......as for going away for a holiday...haven't you got a friend or a family member who can stay at your place?
I think the suggestions to hire somebody are kind of crazy. An 18 yr old should be capable not only of taking care of himself, but also the pets for a weekend.
Write out a schedule for the animals, go over it with your son, and make sure there are no conflicts. Then, pack.
I have never in my life heard of a residential home with set "quiet hours." I lived at home on and off all through college until I was 23. My parents wanted to hear me come home so they'd know I was home safely.
I actually never had a set curfew. It was more important for my parents to know where I was and who I was with. As long as they knew that, they never told me when I had to be home. I say no curfew.
It sounds like your dogs require a lot of care, and it might be too much for someone going to school and working. I say board them somewhere or pay a pet sitter.
An 18 year old should be able to be left alone. Many at his age are living on their own.
Curfew hasn't really been an issue. Was curious what other parents did at this age.
My son probably thinks I worry to much about things and he is more passive agressive than I like. We both need to move more toward the middle range.
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