Why buy them everything? (games, activities, son, grandmother)
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I think jobs help teenagers get a taste of what life is like out in the "real world." It helped me develop more social skills and a work ethic. My reputation was at stake and I had to "prove myself" to my bosses and co-workers and my parents...I think my parents probably wanted to make life easier for me since they both grew up poor during the Depression. Good thing that I had an "inner drive" to go to work at an early age and didn't sit back and let them do everything for me. I was involved with some organizations too but it wasn't the same as actually holding down a job on my own.
I am not sure what social skills and work ethic you develop working the types of jobs teenagers get that you cannot develop doing community service, taking advanced courses, and doing internships.
I look around me and listen to my friends as they talk about buying everything for their kids, ie, cars, tv's, atv's and the list goes on, even the adult ones (18+) are catered too at will.
So, the question is, "Why buy everything for them"? Your not teaching them a thing about responsibility, doing for themselves, or working hard for what you want and need. All your teaching them is, that mom and dad are the bank that's open 24/7. And when the bank finally closes its doors, they (the pampered ones) retaliate in all kinds of ways. Especially as a graduation present semms to me as a dumb idea, they're not finacially ready to take on such a big responsibilty without your money backing them 110% on the time.
Even when I was in high school I bought a $50 special car, my own gas, insurance and paid for all of it's Many up-keeps, but mom and dad still had control over how I used it. And if I screwed up, they took the keys away, even though I paid for it myself. And to this day I'm still glad that they maintained that control as a responsible parent.
But today I see parents going into debt buying their kids brand new cars and paying for all the rest as well. Then they sit there complaining that the kids aren't showing any respect for it, misuseing and abuseing it and that they still want more.
Setting themselves up for failure and complaining about it all the time.
Not every parent does this. Maybe you want to ask yourself why you keep company with these particular types of people.
I am not sure what social skills and work ethic you develop working the types of jobs teenagers get that you cannot develop doing community service, taking advanced courses, and doing internships.
Maybe it's just me but I felt that I gained a lot from stepping outside my "comfort zone" and normal "circle" of friends...My jobs gave me a feeling of "having to start from the bottom" which I probably needed as a teenager. My parents insisted on sending me to an upscale Catholic school for girls which could be pretty "snobby." I felt more "at home" on my jobs than I did at my fancy high school. Eventually my parents realized they made a mistake by sending me to this school since they were "down-to-earth people."...The school offered advanced and specialty classes and programs. But I just wasn't a "social climber" and I didn't fit in all that well. (And I didn't want to fit in!)
Because if you buy us everything we'll be nicer to you and make your life a whole lot easier.
-The wisdome of a teenage girl
Funny or not, very true in most cases. All I know is that if I do have kids one day, it ain't going to be like that in my household. I'm glad my parents never spoiled us even though we were brats. I got my first job at the age of 18 and got my first phone. I paid for it and still pays for it, and my mom yelled at me for getting a phone. Sometimes my mom help out but I'm thankful for her! I am forever debt with her, seriously. If we want it, we'll have to buy it with our own money.
Maybe it's just me but I felt that I gained a lot from stepping outside my "comfort zone" and normal "circle" of friends...My jobs gave me a feeling of "having to start from the bottom" which I probably needed as a teenager. My parents insisted on sending me to an upscale Catholic school for girls which could be pretty "snobby." I felt more "at home" on my jobs than I did at my fancy high school. Eventually my parents realized they made a mistake by sending me to this school since they were "down-to-earth people."...The school offered advanced and specialty classes and programs. But I just wasn't a "social climber" and I didn't fit in all that well. (And I didn't want to fit in!)
That seems something very specific to your particular situation. Do you really think there is a big social skill to be learned working at McDonalds as compared to doing an internship?
That seems something very specific to your particular situation. Do you really think there is a big social skill to be learned working at McDonalds as compared to doing an internship?
It was good for me to "rub elbows" with "everyday people." Kept me "down-to-earth" and humble and modest! Helped me gain a sense of the "world at large!"....I never worked at "Mc Donald's." I worked at my local library for quite awhile. Later I worked in the lunch counter of a dept. store in my downtown area. I shopped in this store with my Grandma and Mom from the time I was small and it was exciting to actually work in the store myself. Later I worked as a salesperson in an independent clothing boutique...I did scholastic things too but I enjoyed being well-rounded and part of the "everyday hustle and bustle."
There are certain things we paid for, because we agree the need was there, such as computers and cars. We do live in an area without public transportation, and the roads are not safe for biking. Other things that might seem unnecessary, were given as gifts for birthdays or holidays, such as IPods and Tv's.
There was never a time that they were given something just because they wanted it. They could make the request, and either wait for a gift-giving occasion or buy it themselves.
They all worked during the summer as lifeguards. One of them also worked at a dog day-care after school after football season. I'm not sure why, but my kids have never had any trouble getting or keeping a job. Each one of them rose to a "manager" position, whatever that might mean to a high school kid. And two out of three got full academic scholarships. They have proven themselves to be well-rounded and responsible, so I'm quite satisfied with the way things turned out.
I am not sure what social skills and work ethic you develop working the types of jobs teenagers get that you cannot develop doing community service, taking advanced courses, and doing internships.
Especially when doing community service and internships. They are unpaid jobs, after all.
There are certain things we paid for, because we agree the need was there, such as computers and cars. We do live in an area without public transportation, and the roads are not safe for biking. Other things that might seem unnecessary, were given as gifts for birthdays or holidays, such as IPods and Tv's.
There was never a time that they were given something just because they wanted it. They could make the request, and either wait for a gift-giving occasion or buy it themselves.
They all worked during the summer as lifeguards. One of them also worked at a dog day-care after school after football season. I'm not sure why, but my kids have never had any trouble getting or keeping a job. Each one of them rose to a "manager" position, whatever that might mean to a high school kid. And two out of three got full academic scholarships. They have proven themselves to be well-rounded and responsible, so I'm quite satisfied with the way things turned out.
Well here, I have to say there are times we buy the kids things just because they want it. Not all the time, but sure here and there. I don't see the issue.
I see that there are a few of us on this page that weren't born with silver spoons in our hands/mpouths and that out parents new that by NOT giveing us everything we wanted, would benifit us in out adult years. Then there are the few that obviously haven't a clue what the real world is all about and had mom and dad tied around their golden wrapped ring fingers thowing everything at them just to keep them happy.
Hard word for what you want is a good and a real world teaching method and I cherish my mom and dad, for what they have taught me and my 9 sibs out on the farm. We still know how say (thank you Ma'am) and (No thank you Sir) and we still know to open the doors for the ladies, eldery and the little children.
Respect is earned, not demanded and when you teach your children that they can get what ever they want by demanding it, then you deserve what they give you when your in your golden years, "No repect".
Oh, and by the way. We did just fine not haveing a cell phone strapped to our heads 24/7. And I find it to be extremely rude for a child or anyone else to be sitting in the presence of others "TEXTING" and its as rude as whispering in front of others all the time.
I was once told a story by a lady that her boyfriend came to her home for about 3 hours. And during 3 hour visit time, he spent approximately 2 1/2 hour texting his buddies. Kids do the same thing now and its all the parents fault for their childs (Disconnecting) from the family unit,. Because they're buying them everything they want and they want it now without haveing to work for it.
There have always been parents that over-indulge their children. Always. And, there have always been parents who are able to instill a good work ethic and a sense of value to their kids, while still giving them a happy childhood with some sense of fun.
I don't believe you should "hand things on a silver platter", but nor do I believe that kids should have to work their fingers to the bone in order to be prepared for the real world. They only get one childhood. We don't have to send them down the mines anymore.
I don't think parents today are much different from generations of parents before them, despite the imminent ride in a handbasket mentality that permeates these kind of threads.
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Sometimes my mom help out but I'm thankful for her! I am forever debt with her, seriously. 
