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I had pretty good experiences with parents RSVPing and showing up however some showed up late which kind of annoyed me. I had the parties at Chuckie Cheese and they run a strict time line. Pizza at such and such time, cake, time to play etc. I had 2 parents show up (different parties) up to 45 minutes late. By that time pizza had been eaten and so forth. There was still food left but it was a bit cold. I did have some parents stay and sit off to the side with younger siblings. I have to say pretty much everyone was very gracious and did not assume I would foot the bill for extra food or tokens (I bought extra pizzas anyway, tokens I did not). I did make up extra goodie bags and was able to pass them on to the siblings that might have showed up. I think after everyone RSVP's you will have a good idea of extras if needed.
I've never had people show up with kids without RSVPing but I *have* had people bring siblings. Which is completely fine by me. I just order a bit extra just in case.