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Stop child A (the pusher). Tell them that they do not have the right to push another person.
If the opportunity is available and child B is upset or hurt, have child A look at child B(the pusher) and ask how child A thinks child B feels? See if you can speak to child A about how does he like feeling like that... If the kid is not getting it, let it go.
Instruct child A in remedy and amends. At first you will have to instruct. "Maybe child B wants a boo boo bunny?" "Could you help him feel better with sorry and a hug?" Then later you can ask, I wonder how you can help make it better?
If the child persists, you need to mean what you say. You said that child A does not have the right to push another person. If child A cannot play safely and fairly at the playground, then child A cannot play at the play ground. At any point that that message is unclear, you scoop child A up and leave. When they pitch a fit, you can be sympathetic. Yes I know you are upset that we have to leave. When you can play at the playground safely and fairly, then you can play at the playground. Maybe we can try again next week. Calm.
That is an example. Seems like a long, drawn out thing, but it goes down faster than it looks. At first, it feels really awkward. But not so much once you get used to it.
This is what we do at work. Another poster said they wouldn't even teach their kid to hug another kid. The more nonverbal kids who need to apologize to a friend usually do very well with hugging the injured party. Some can just verbally apologize, but either way they know if it happens again they lose slide privileges.
That's right. Children aren't robots. Each child has their own personality. How do I know what EVERY child is going to respond to? How does anyone know?
Again more claims that there exist some children that have to be hit.
Support it or stop making the claiming and then denying it. I never said any ONE method of discipline works for every child that is another lie. What I have said is that hitting isn't necessary. You have not shown at all or in any way that hittin is ever necessary.
So what characteristics of your child prove that they have to be hit. Really do tell. Since you KNOW that all other methods of discipline will not work for some kids. Tell us how you KNOW that.
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And what you put in quotes is exactly what I have said ad nauseum. I don't know, and don't believe anyone knows, the one single perfect method that will work for every child. All the self righteousness gets a little tiresome. If you know all the answers and have all the child rearing expertise, write a book or start your own talk show. If there's one perfect method to raise kids, if that handbook to raise kids really does exist, I would sure love to read it. Otherwise, your opinion is just that...your opinion.
Ah more logical fallacy. At least you are consistent.
If you "didn't know" then you wouldn't be claiming that certain things cannot work. You are the one claims te expertise here. Reread them "in all my years" or "I KNOW" blah blah blah. You dodge every question on morality of hitting because you cannot justify hitting a tiny person.
You dodged the question on why it is acceptable to hit children but not those with the same mental capacity. You dodged everything except attempts to discredit those who disagree with you by lying about what we said. Ad homs are yet another fallacy.
Reality is you have not given a single valid or even logical reason about why it is ever acceptable to hit children beyond the fact that you feel they are YOUR child and you can whatever the hell you want. Nice.
This is what we do at work. Another poster said they wouldn't even teach their kid to hug another kid. The more nonverbal kids who need to apologize to a friend usually do very well with hugging the injured party. Some can just verbally apologize, but either way they know if it happens again they lose slide privileges.
The point was not hugging. The point was reparation. Remedy. Amends. However that is done is fine.
If you tell a child "no," and their natural curiousity causes them to try to touch it anyway, a parent's first quick reaction to keep the child from severe injury may have to be slapping his hand.
It wouldn't be mine. My first reaction would be to restrain their hand. Then hold it over the burner where they can feel the heat undamaged. Then hold a piece of paper to the burner so they can see what happens to things that touch the burner. Before rethinking my habits, my first reaction would have been to slap their hand as that is what my mother would have done. The habits that I witnessed as a child would have been ingrained in me. But a person can change their habits if they wish. Since there is absolutely no use or benefit to hitting a child in this case that restraint does not serve, then I cannot see the argument for continuing in that habit.
Again more claims that there exist some children that have to be hit.
Support it or stop making the claiming and then denying it. I never said any ONE method of discipline works for every child that is another lie. What I have said is that hitting isn't necessary. You have not shown at all or in any way that hittin is ever necessary.
So what characteristics of your child prove that they have to be hit. Really do tell. Since you KNOW that all other methods of discipline will not work for some kids. Tell us how you KNOW that.
Common sense is how I know that. What I have seen and experienced is how I know that. The same way you think you KNOW that children should never be spanked because YOU never did. Like I said, that's your opinion, I have my own. And I have explained, repeatedly, the situations that would possibly warrant it. You read what you want to read, just like you read that I said "all kids are sociopaths" and that "I spank my kid because I can." You lying about what I said is not going to make your argument stronger. If I can break it down to make it bit easier for you, I have never said ALL kids SHOULD be hit. I have never said that was the best method to discipline children. I think spanking is one tool in the toolbox. Some parents may feel they need to use that tool. Because I DO NOT does not mean I need to condemn parents who do. Kids usually survive a spanking without requiring any professional help, with no mental or physical scars, without any difficulties as adults. I just don't believe it's the big deal that so many make it out to be. And that quote of mine you keep repeating so consistently, try reading the post I was originally responding to. We were talking about kids and using baby gates to keep them from touching hot stoves. You're using that one line as proof that I believe all kids should be spanked (including my own, apparently) or that some kids NEED to be spanked. Let me quote it again for you, since you love it so much.
"But I have been around long enough to know that just telling, gates, stern voices, etc. is not going to work for every single child."
It's cracking me up that you're reading into that that I KNOW spanking would work if none of those things do. I DON'T know. And neither do you. And neither does the poster I was responding to (which is why I objected to her calling parents "lazy" when she has no idea what other methods they used or what the circumstances may be.) MIGHT it work? YES. And THAT was my point. Not that you're going to get it. Have you ever seen a kid climb over a baby gate? I have. Have you ever seen a child hear the word NO and do it anyway? I have. I have also seen kids who listen to NO and don't need any further direction. There are all kinds of kids, so how the hell do you know what they all need? You raised your own. That's as far as your job goes.
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Ah more logical fallacy. At least you are consistent.
If you "didn't know" then you wouldn't be claiming that certain things cannot work. You are the one claims te expertise here. Reread them "in all my years" or "I KNOW" blah blah blah. You dodge every question on morality of hitting because you cannot justify hitting a tiny person.
You dodged the question on why it is acceptable to hit children but not those with the same mental capacity. You dodged everything except attempts to discredit those who disagree with you by lying about what we said. Ad homs are yet another fallacy.
Reality is you have not given a single valid or even logical reason about why it is ever acceptable to hit children beyond the fact that you feel they are YOUR child and you can whatever the hell you want. Nice.
I have, you just refuse to get it. My logic is not your logic, nor will it ever be. To me, YOU have not come up with a single logical reason why spanking children is wrong. All you have is your moral outrage. You can have your moral judgment, but I'm sorry to break it to you, you cannot control what others find acceptable. All the silly nitpicky back and forth arguing you can come up with is not going to change that. You don't have that much power. And yes, I do feel like I have the right to decide the best way to raise my own child, and the only intervention should be if my "way" is neglectful, abusive, or illegal. And yes, to me, that freedom IS nice and I enjoy it. If I found that freedom so distasteful, I would be making plans to move to one of those countries you speak of, where the government knows better than parents how to raise their children. But I am happy here, able to make my own decisions about what's best for the family I love. So continue on with your nitpicking and making up things that aren't there. It isn't going to change a thing, so just enjoy yourself.
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