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If I knew/know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the other adults were/are 100% safe and could/can be trusted with my child's well-being....I'd be/AM thrilled for them to have close relationships with other adults! If we are to have the attitude of "it takes a village to raise a child", how can that happen if our kids don't have healthy, positive relationships with other adults?
Two of my youngest son's best friends, just happen to be an elderly neighbor couple. These people are in their 80s and they are the BEST grandparents my children have ever had. This man is completely into fishing and has invited DS many times to go fishing for the day with him. They'll wake up at the crack of dawn, hook up the boat, load their gear and sandwiches that "gramma D" made for them and hit the river. These people are an incredibly positive influence on him and have greatly changed the way this youngster views older folks. His life is so much better for having them in it....ALL our lives are.
It's sad when parents get jealous over things like that...although,...let's face it, there could be a whole lot more to the story than OPs mom is letting on. Perhaps she's actually fearful because of a horrible past experience.
I am very close to a 25 year old who started hanging out at my house when he was 15 because he didn't like his home life. I've only met his mom once but she lives nearby. There was nothing really horrible going on but she was a single mom and didn't really want to deal with him. He gets along much better with her and her extended family now that he is an adult than he did when he was a teen. I don't know if she felt threatened or relieved
Just a curious question for all parents. Do you feel threatened if your child or teen becomes close to another adult, even if it's an adult you trust? If so, why and if not, why? Do you think that children should be close to adults in their lives and have a bit of a support group outside the immediate family provided that the adults in question do not have ill intentions?
My mom and one of my uncles get mad about how close my brother and my cousin are to my other uncle and his wife. My brother, now in his early 20s tends to get close to the families of his friends and girlfriends and my mom mocks him about it and calls them "his other family". This type of thing has always seemed to be an issue with our mother. Is this normal/natural parent behavior and feelings, or is it unhealthy? Thoughts/experiences?
Osito, I did have another thought on this. Could it be that your mother feels as if she's being compared to these other families? What I mean by that is, kids can be clueless to how comments about other families make their parents feel. Does she end up feeling like her kids compare her to them? Do little comments they make, make her feel like they approve of these other parents more......and want her to be more like them and less like herself?
I think it's great if children have positive relationships with adults besides their parents. My children have a few other adults in their lives that they are close to, and I am grateful for that.
I became very close to the parents of an ex when I was an older teen, I am still very close to them, and my mother was and still is very jealous of them.....30 years later .
a good influence upon my child by good people with common outlook is welcome (common as in supportive of the basics of our beliefs) as long as the adults don't presume to insert themselves in my role as parent.
parents have a hard job and supportive adults are a Godsend. I like the line by one of the posters that he and the FIL mutually supported each other's roles in raising the child.
a good influence upon my child by good people with common outlook is welcome (common as in supportive of the basics of our beliefs) as long as the adults don't presume to insert themselves in my role as parent.
parents have a hard job and supportive adults are a Godsend. I like the line by one of the posters that he and the FIL mutually supported each other's roles in raising the child.
Very well said! I wholeheartedly agree!
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Could it be that your mother feels as if she's being compared to these other families? What I mean by that is, kids can be clueless to how comments about other families make their parents feel. Does she end up feeling like her kids compare her to them? Do little comments they make, make her feel like they approve of these other parents more......and want her to be more like them and less like herself? 
.
