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I am confused. IMO, its not ok for any parent to leave their child unless they are all at risk for serious reasons. But I know a young woman that is about 25 years of age and has just ONE child she claims to have but RARELY ever sees her. Now I know most mothers that leave their children do it to make sure their child has a better life without them or because they are mentally ill or financially unable to care for them. But this is what bothers me:
She left her 7 year old daughter at less than 1 year of age at first because she then realized that its not easy to care for the child. So she did leave her to her Ex-boyfriends (the father) sister's house for temporary custody until she got back on her feet which makes it inconvenient to her because she already has 4 children of her own.
Since then she rarely sees her and when she does, she comes empty handed while the father who is married to another women of 6 years and has a 3 year old with her sees her from time to time, pays child support and still buys things she needs and wants when he is not exactly obligated to do that by law. The mother pays NOTHING, does NOTHING for the child but since then, she has moved from place to place, worked, went to school full time and has only done nothing but made more time to hang out with friends and waste money on video games, shopping, eating out and taking trips out of state going to events and would brag about it but not mention ANYTHING about her child.
The father sadly which is a friend of mine had to go through so much with Child support issues and a few years ago found out that the mother of his child defrauded welfare by accepting child support knowing she did not have custody of the child and the aunt who has raised her said there was not one red cent brought to the child for anything that was needed.
Now to not make this any longer and to cut it short, what do you think about this? I see nothing wrong with the mother. In my theory she left her child with no intentions of taking custody of her out of the convenience for her life to do what she realize she really couldn't do the moment she gave that child life. Again she pays no child support and does not help with child expenses. She mentions nothing about her either.
Why isn't the child with the FATHER?!? Why is his sister taking care of his child?
Quote:
Originally Posted by anonymous90
I am confused. IMO, its not ok for any parent to leave their child unless they are all at risk for serious reasons. But I know a young woman that is about 25 years of age and has just ONE child she claims to have but RARELY ever sees her. Now I know most mothers that leave their children do it to make sure their child has a better life without them or because they are mentally ill or financially unable to care for them. But this is what bothers me:
She left her 7 year old daughter at less than 1 year of age at first because she then realized that its not easy to care for the child. So she did leave her to her Ex-boyfriends (the father) sister's house for temporary custody until she got back on her feet which makes it inconvenient to her because she already has 4 children of her own.
Since then she rarely sees her and when she does, she comes empty handed while the father who is married to another women of 6 years and has a 3 year old with her sees her from time to time, pays child support and still buys things she needs and wants when he is not exactly obligated to do that by law. The mother pays NOTHING, does NOTHING for the child but since then, she has moved from place to place, worked, went to school full time and has only done nothing but made more time to hang out with friends and waste money on video games, shopping, eating out and taking trips out of state going to events and would brag about it but not mention ANYTHING about her child.
The father sadly which is a friend of mine had to go through so much with Child support issues and a few years ago found out that the mother of his child defrauded welfare by accepting child support knowing she did not have custody of the child and the aunt who has raised her said there was not one red cent brought to the child for anything that was needed.
Now to not make this any longer and to cut it short, what do you think about this? I see nothing wrong with the mother. In my theory she left her child with no intentions of taking custody of her out of the convenience for her life to do what she realize she really couldn't do the moment she gave that child life. Again she pays no child support and does not help with child expenses. She mentions nothing about her either.
Why isn't the child with the FATHER?!? Why is his sister taking care of his child?
The reason for that was, in the past; he clearly stated that he was not ready for a child let alone having one with her. The father was 23 and the mother was 18. (Young and dumb at the time) Their relationship was quite brief. Not even six months went through. She said she would keep the baby after the first thought of having an abortion. The father said he would make sure he pay a visit after work and on his days off. He made sure he brought everything the baby needed, but because the mother was upset she wasn't receiving cash and instead witnessing him buying everything the child needed while collecting receipts for proof and documentation, she filed it anyways.
He tried to get custody for the eldest daughter, but because his sister has grown so attached to the child and refused to give her up easily; he left it alone and kept it the way it has been. He still makes his visits as much as he can even though he spends 70% of his time at work. 3 years Later in his marriage, he felt he could start over having a baby with his wife.
(Can't continue beating a dead horse with a stick, so he felt the need to do what he's obligated to do and continue with his life as well)
And this has to do with California in what way?
There's a relationship forum on c-d-f and a mental health forum and i think that there's a parenting forum.
And this has to do with California in what way?
There's a relationship forum on c-d-f and a mental health forum and i think that there's a parenting forum.
Not really how this works. I'm new to it. LOL I just posted what I felt I was pretty touched on and wondered why someone can even do such a thing. Doesn't matter to me.
Too late for that, he was older than the mother at the time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by anonymous90
The reason for that was, in the past; he clearly stated that he was not ready for a child let alone having one with her. The father was 23 and the mother was 18. (Young and dumb at the time)
Why would you put the full blame on the mother and make excuses for the father? Both are equally responsible for having a baby. If the mother is considered "mentally ill" for abandoning the child, so it can be said about the father.
Sounds like the child is better off with the aunt since neither the father nor the mother wanted to take any REAL responsibility.
Quote:
Originally Posted by anonymous90
Their relationship was quite brief. Not even six months went through. She said she would keep the baby after the first thought of having an abortion. The father said he would make sure he pay a visit after work and on his days off. He made sure he brought everything the baby needed, but because the mother was upset she wasn't receiving cash and instead witnessing him buying everything the child needed while collecting receipts for proof and documentation, she filed it anyways.
He tried to get custody for the eldest daughter, but because his sister has grown so attached to the child and refused to give her up easily; he left it alone and kept it the way it has been. He still makes his visits as much as he can even though he spends 70% of his time at work. 3 years Later in his marriage, he felt he could start over having a baby with his wife.
(Can't continue beating a dead horse with a stick, so he felt the need to do what he's obligated to do and continue with his life as well)
Not really how this works. I'm new to it. LOL I just posted what I felt I was pretty touched on and wondered why someone can even do such a thing. Doesn't matter to me.
The thread will probably be moved by a moderator to another forum at some point and then you can follow it there.
The reason for that was, in the past; he clearly stated that he was not ready for a child let alone having one with her. The father was 23 and the mother was 18. (Young and dumb at the time) Their relationship was quite brief. Not even six months went through. She said she would keep the baby after the first thought of having an abortion. The father said he would make sure he pay a visit after work and on his days off. He made sure he brought everything the baby needed, but because the mother was upset she wasn't receiving cash and instead witnessing him buying everything the child needed while collecting receipts for proof and documentation, she filed it anyways.
He tried to get custody for the eldest daughter, but because his sister has grown so attached to the child and refused to give her up easily; he left it alone and kept it the way it has been. He still makes his visits as much as he can even though he spends 70% of his time at work. 3 years Later in his marriage, he felt he could start over having a baby with his wife.
(Can't continue beating a dead horse with a stick, so he felt the need to do what he's obligated to do and continue with his life as well)
Then "dad" should have kept it in his pants. He apparently *knew* he wasn't ready for a child, and *certainly* not with HER. So .... did somebody hold a gun to this guy's head and make him have sex with a woman he was *certain* he didn't want to impregnate, when he *knew* he wasn't ready to be a father? If that's the case, I sure hope the cops find the gunman soon before any other innocent man is "unwillingly forced" to have sex with a woman he does not wish to impregnate when he *knows* he is not ready to be a father.
Oh, and birth control - it's not just a woman's responsibility!
Too late for that, he was older than the mother at the time.
Why would you put the full blame on the mother and make excuses for the father? Both are equally responsible for having a baby. If the mother is considered "mentally ill" for abandoning the child, so it can be said about the father.
Sounds like the child is better off with the aunt since neither the father nor the mother wanted to take any REAL responsibility.
I understand what you are saying, but in the end the FATHER IS doing what he can and is In FACT being responsible. If he didn't, he would be like another dead beat dad. (Refusing to pay child support, not visiting the child, and not helping out with any other expenses like: School supplies, shoes, clothes, food, extra curricular activities that the daughter enjoys doing and more!) With that being said; the mother is doing NONE of those things, so yes she chose to have the baby but can't even do ANYTHING to care for her at all in any shape or form.
The father doesn't go out traveling, he doesn't waste time hanging out with friends and doing things that aren't important. AGAIN, He spends 70% of his time at WORK! WORK, mind you.
Again, I ask, Why is the child living and being raised by his sister, why didn't he take custody of the child in the beginning?
Quote:
Originally Posted by anonymous90
I understand what you are saying, but in the end the FATHER IS doing what he can and is In FACT being responsible. If he didn't, he would be like another dead beat dad. (Refusing to pay child support, not visiting the child, and not helping out with any other expenses like: School supplies, shoes, clothes, food, extra curricular activities that the daughter enjoys doing and more!) With that being said; the mother is doing NONE of those things, so yes she chose to have the baby but can't even do ANYTHING to care for her at all in any shape or form.
The father doesn't go out traveling, he doesn't waste time hanging out with friends and doing things that aren't important. AGAIN, He spends 70% of his time at WORK! WORK, mind you.
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