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I think a lot depends on the individual child. My son at about 10 became a lot more aware of his environment, who and what was around him. I wouldn't worry so much about stranger-danger, as we know the real risk is small, but I would worry more about would the child know what to do if they got lost and started panicking, how resourceful are they, that sort of thing.
This. I have no problem allowing my 7.5yr old to wander within yelling distance of me at a store. By the time she's 10 or 11 I would definitely let her shop at the mall without me in the same store the whole time. I often send her to find a grocery item I've forgotten now. My 5yr old will probably be 25 though.
I think the question here is what does "unattended" really mean? How far or how close to you need to be to be considered still in control of your children? Do you need to be able to actually see them, or just know where they are?
And then there is this law called Constructive possession (wikipedia) which is a legal fiction to describe a situation where an individual has actual control over chattels or real property without actually having physical control of the same assets. At law, a person with constructive possession stands in the same legal position as a person with actual possession.
For example, if one's car is sitting in one's driveway, one has physical possession of the car. However, any person with the key has constructive possession, as they may take physical possession at any time without further consent from one.
Apprently this applies to items and people in your car as well.
I would agree on 10-11 for Target- ours is a small store and I'd be within yelling distance. Possibly older in a huge store, or in the Mall- my kids are not even school age yet, so this is a more difficult question for me.
Interestingly, I asked my husband, and he said 14 for both scenarios. I think that is too old, kids need to learn independance.
What about an older child who wasn't in the cart to begin with? They are safer in the car than they are standing in the parking lot while you unload the groceries.
I try to be considerate with things like putting the cart away, but I'm not going to endanger my kids to do it. It isn't laziness unless you are alone, able-bodied, and still don't put your cart away.
Pretty much this.
In the state I'm in now, which has some of the WORST drivers in the nation and parking lots are one big Bumper Car Zone, I'd put the kids in the car then put the groceries in the car. I wouldn't walk through the parking lot carrying one child and holding another's hand while I'm trying very hard to not get run over by some snowbird wearing a Twin Cities cap who can't see over the steering wheel.
Wow, y'all have people to do that? It's been at least ten years since anyone took my groceries out to the car for me. Even when I was in a wheelchair, nobody ever offered to take my groceries out.
Yep, both in Nebraska and Florida (lived in both places) they take the cart out for you (no tip).
While this post is from 2012, I come across it in 2015 while I'm livid!
I have a 2 and 3 yr old that have both attended daycare full-time since they were 3 mos old. I recently stopped working but have kept my 3 yr attending full-time due to the class' consistent curriculum and I keep my 2 yr old home with me on Tues/Thurs for 1-1 time. Today, I was informed that I was "almost" reported to the police because I left my two year old in the vehicle while I ran my 3 yr old into class yesterday.
I understand folks concern of what could happen but I think what really has aggravated me is that I see this as a place that should be an extension of my community, much like attending church, etc. Instead of just catching me outside by my car to express their concern face-to-face, the parents choose to have someone else deal with it for them (daycare director/police).
I take the kids around the same time each day and usually see the same set of parents/kids each day as well. Daycare hosts annual parties where the families see and chat with each other. The parking space was not only visible to the infant classroom but also to an outdoor patio where another teacher and children were fully able to see my vehicle. Why have we become a mass that can be SO concerned with the well being of the child but we cannot, as a community/neighbor, express that concern to the parent directly? Our children attend the same daycare, do you think I am a going to physically attack because of your opinion? Or, you want to make your voice heard but only when the time is convenient to you, you couldn't arrive at work two minutes later?
Since moving to the east coast, I've been shamed into doing daily activities differently because folks here are overly worried of what could happen due to a lack of being a community (ie: more transient neighborhoods) But it is aggravating to me. By the level of concern of bad that could happen, I might as well just lock myself in a basement and never come out for fear of everything that possibly could happen. Yet, due to these same awesome worrisome folks, we have wolves in the wilderness of the west where families enjoy the outdoors. Seems ironically backwards to me.
Shoot because I already know the statements that will come my way for this post.
While this post is from 2012, I come across it in 2015 while I'm livid!
I have a 2 and 3 yr old that have both attended daycare full-time since they were 3 mos old. I recently stopped working but have kept my 3 yr attending full-time due to the class' consistent curriculum and I keep my 2 yr old home with me on Tues/Thurs for 1-1 time. Today, I was informed that I was "almost" reported to the police because I left my two year old in the vehicle while I ran my 3 yr old into class yesterday.
I understand folks concern of what could happen but I think what really has aggravated me is that I see this as a place that should be an extension of my community, much like attending church, etc. Instead of just catching me outside by my car to express their concern face-to-face, the parents choose to have someone else deal with it for them (daycare director/police).
I take the kids around the same time each day and usually see the same set of parents/kids each day as well. Daycare hosts annual parties where the families see and chat with each other. The parking space was not only visible to the infant classroom but also to an outdoor patio where another teacher and children were fully able to see my vehicle. Why have we become a mass that can be SO concerned with the well being of the child but we cannot, as a community/neighbor, express that concern to the parent directly? Our children attend the same daycare, do you think I am a going to physically attack because of your opinion? Or, you want to make your voice heard but only when the time is convenient to you, you couldn't arrive at work two minutes later?
Since moving to the east coast, I've been shamed into doing daily activities differently because folks here are overly worried of what could happen due to a lack of being a community (ie: more transient neighborhoods) But it is aggravating to me. By the level of concern of bad that could happen, I might as well just lock myself in a basement and never come out for fear of everything that possibly could happen. Yet, due to these same awesome worrisome folks, we have wolves in the wilderness of the west where families enjoy the outdoors. Seems ironically backwards to me.
Shoot because I already know the statements that will come my way for this post.
Somehow I doubt you would have taken it any better if someone had come to you and expressed their concerns to your face.
Did the teacher on the patio know she was supposed to be keeping an eye on your car with your child in it (while she watched a bunch of other kids)?
I don't know that it is an east coast thing. I live in the west, and it was not acceptable to leave one kid in the car while dropping the other off at preschool. We even had a system of "buddies" to help watch each other's cars during drop off. It was organized, though, not just a nearby teacher who may or may not be paying attention.
ETA I'm not saying that calling the police was warranted, but I also don't think what you did was a good idea. I can understand someone's concern.
I have a 2 and 3 yr old that have both attended daycare full-time since they were 3 mos old. I recently stopped working but have kept my 3 yr attending full-time due to the class' consistent curriculum and I keep my 2 yr old home with me on Tues/Thurs for 1-1 time. Today, I was informed that I was "almost" reported to the police because I left my two year old in the vehicle while I ran my 3 yr old into class yesterday.
When my kids were younger and in day care, I would see people leave their purses and other valuables in their unlocked cars "just for a minute" while they went in to drop their kids off. Some of them would even leave the keys in the ignition and the cars running. It would have been the easiest thing in the world for me to drop my kids off, go back outside, swipe a purse, and drive off. And while I never did it, apparently someone else did, because one time we got a letter from the center director warning us about thefts from unattended cars.
While I agree with you that society tends to be more paranoid than warranted, I wouldn't leave a two-year-old alone in the car. That just seems too young for me.
At what age would you consider splitting up in a Target store. I'm going to be in housewares, but my son wants to go to the toy department alone. ??
My son just turned 9, and I have just started letting him go to the electronics section in Target by himself. He is under instructions to remain there until I come and get him, which I do within about 10 minutes at most. I will admit that I'm a little anxious about it; but at the same time, he's not going to learn to be independent if we don't start loosening the (metaphorical) leash a bit.
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