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We only have one child. We make a decent amount of money, are debt free, but know how much money it takes to raise a child. To say if you can afford one, you can afford another is crazy as well. There is a whole other child to pay for- clothes, food, supplies, toys, furniture, medical/dental, child care then school related activities and functions. No, just because you can financially afford one, doesn't mean you can afford two
Oh well you know, kids can always do without those luxuries. Who cares if the standard of living of everyone else in the household drops as long as another child exists?
Never use money as a reason to have or not have a child...People have been having kids for thousands of years...what you toss in the garbage is enough to feed two more children...
No you should not have another child. The world does not need more people. The world does need more quality people. Focus on teaching and learning how to raise a high quality person. As an only child I viewed this same question of single vs multiple. Also later in life I also had just the one child. In all my comparisons, the one child is so much better. The cost is of course also an issue. Two children are double the cost, and so on. Really, look around. Do we really need more people? The world cannot employ the people we have now.
I think more and more people are having 'onlies' as women wait later in life to have their children.
I grew up an only child; my mother was 40 when I was born. She had a son that was killed in an accident before I was born.
Many times I wished that I had siblings; many times I was glad I did not. For vacations, once I got a little older - I always got to bring a friend OR we went with my Aunt and my cousin. My cousin and I were close; her brother was 10 years older than her and they were not close. So vacations were always fun. I was glad I didn't have to share my stuff; quite immature of me I know ~ but there it is.
As I now deal with my elderly parents and watch my friends deal with theirs - more and more I come to realize that the caretaking usually falls to ONE person despite the number of brothers and sisters. They are scattered or simply cannot (or will not) join in the caretaking process.
Do we really need more people? The world cannot employ the people we have now.
When you bring that point up, that's when heads go right into the sand. There is a worldwide oversupply of labor that doesn't appear to be clearing itself up anytime soon.
But breeder brains tend to have a scr*w you, I got mine attitude when it comes to their children's futures. Economically or environmentally, doesn't matter.
Take for example the study that showed that most environmentally friendly thing you could do was not have or severely limit the number of children you have. Driving a Prius or recycling or whatever did nothing to make up for the damage caused by having additional humans. This is the hardest point to get across to some, who truly believe that it is great for the environment to have 5 spoiled Western children as long as they recycle or drive a hybrid. But it is simply not true. The best thing they could have done was not have had 5 kids in the first place.
Okay...I will come from the other side on this completely... please don't judge me, you don't know me or anything about my life, just putting in my two cents here as the OP asked.
I have three children ages 11, 8 and 2. I love them with all of my heart, but I do regret having more than one, sometimes any. Life has gotten more difficult mentally, physically and financially with each one and seeing the way my two older children fight kills me. I also have three boys. I have always wanted girls. I think if my first born was a girl, I would have had my tubes tied and been done. I still thought I had stopped and then "accidentally" got pregnant with my second, who was seriously the perfect baby. So we decided to have another. I miscarried twins. We tried for two years to have another one and we finally did and he is healthy and happy and so sweet, but it has been so hard. My oldest has Aspergers (lower scale form, but still very evident) and ADHD. On the honor roll, but struggles with daily life and it makes me very sad.
I work full time days and my husband works full time nights so he literally drops the kids off to me in my parking lot at work and he goes one way and I go the other and I am with them all night to do homework, dinner, showers, bed, etc. It has been this way since our oldest was born. I appreciate the fact that they have been with my husband during the day and not at daycare, but the schedule is so exausting for me. My older two are in school and the baby takes a three hour nap during the day, so my husband gets a bit of break when I never do.
I feel we have missed out on alot of opportunities and I have alot of regrets in life, but that is me. Everyone is different and feels different and are allowed to, its okay to feel how you want to feel whether it is acceptable by society or not. Again, I'm not saying I don't love my kids, because I absolutely love them more than anything in this world, but I have regrets, sadness and way too much stress. I work through it, but its there. My kids would never know how I feel because I don't want them to be hurt or upset and they never will know unless one day I decide to tell them, which I highly doubt I will.
I have 7 siblings. One passed when I was very young and the rest, well, I would have been happy if it were just my brother and me.
More siblings = more drama.
Just think how different your lives will be with more than one and if you can handle it emotionally, physically, etc. It is a big decision and not one to be taken lightly so its good you are thinking it through. Good luck to you and your family.
Thanks for your insight, I really think more people think like this, but do not want to admit it! I , for one, am happy that we had only one, but I get tired of everyone saying how wrong it was for us and our child....
When you bring that point up, that's when heads go right into the sand. There is a worldwide oversupply of labor that doesn't appear to be clearing itself up anytime soon.
But breeder brains tend to have a scr*w you, I got mine attitude when it comes to their children's futures. Economically or environmentally, doesn't matter.
Take for example the study that showed that most environmentally friendly thing you could do was not have or severely limit the number of children you have. Driving a Prius or recycling or whatever did nothing to make up for the damage caused by having additional humans. This is the hardest point to get across to some, who truly believe that it is great for the environment to have 5 spoiled Western children as long as they recycle or drive a hybrid. But it is simply not true. The best thing they could have done was not have had 5 kids in the first place.
As a "breeder" I would really appreciate you and others of your kind to practice what you preach. Here you are, you and your western lifestyle sucking up resources. It isn't enough to simply not "breed" (thanks for that by the way, ), you are still here consuming resources. Where do you think all that tofurkey you're eating comes from? All that farming to support your vegan diets and the havoc it causes to the environment, for shame. What you need to do is reduce the population NOW and save Mother Earth. If humans truly are the disease, maybe you should volunteer to be part of the solution.
What you need to do is reduce the population NOW and save Mother Earth. If humans truly are the disease, maybe you should volunteer to be part of the solution.
I didn't realize environmentalism was grounds for suicide. Um, wow.
I didn't realize environmentalism was grounds for suicide. Um, wow.
Well, it's not too far off or illogical if we follow the thought process...
1. The Earth is overpopulated and that strain is leading to the destruction of our environment that will eventually result in cataclysm.
2. This makes having children bad because it increases the population. "Breeders" are simply ignorant of this fact and/or are selfish and only have children for their own satisfaction.
3. Since the core issue is really one of overpopulation the real solution is to reduce the population to a sustainable level and the faster we do it the better.
4. The fastest way to reduce the population is to remove people currently alive. Since only some people are cognizant of the impact that people have on the Earth, is it not therefore their imperative duty to remove themselves and lower the impact?
We only have one child. We make a decent amount of money, are debt free, but know how much money it takes to raise a child. To say if you can afford one, you can afford another is crazy as well. There is a whole other child to pay for- clothes, food, supplies, toys, furniture, medical/dental, child care then school related activities and functions. No, just because you can financially afford one, doesn't mean you can afford two
We have this new and unusual concept in our family. We call it "sharing"
Do two cost more than one? Sure. Do two cost twice as much? Not even close. Besides two without Iphones at 14 are better than one with two Iphones. It is very easy to make adjustments to afford more kids if you want more kids. Different people have different definitions of what a person
"needs" to be able to afford to have a child or children. If you boil it down to just real actual "needs" the average american family can support about 25 children.
I come from a family that includes quite a few geniuses (probably not me). However of all of my siblings, only one brother had one child. Isn't it my reponsibility to give the world a shot at having more genuses who can then solve the ecological problems and otherwise improve life for others?
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Who cares if the standard of living of everyone else in the household drops as long as another child exists?
), you are still here consuming resources. Where do you think all that tofurkey you're eating comes from? All that farming to support your vegan diets and the havoc it causes to the environment, for shame. What you need to do is reduce the population NOW and save Mother Earth. If humans truly are the disease, maybe you should volunteer to be part of the solution.
