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It sounds like an opportunity to teach the children to share! Maybe she couldn't afford two. My grandma wasn't rich so my brother and I had to share our train set and other things that built a bond between us. If it is an issue for you buy one for the other child.
True, but then it shouldn't have been given to one, but both.
Yes, I'd be miffed. The world can be unfair in ways parents have no control over. Why would a grandparent contribute to that?
It sounds like an opportunity to teach the children to share! Maybe she couldn't afford two. My grandma wasn't rich so my brother and I had to share our train set and other things that built a bond between us. If it is an issue for you buy one for the other child.
If she couldn't afford two, then she should have given it to both or not bought it at all.
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Originally Posted by Momma_bear
Does she do things like that often? I would be miffed that my parents/in laws bought one child an expensive gift for no reason and did not buy something for the other kids. Now there are times when the grandparents will see something that they think one of the kids will like and buy it without buying for the others, but usually those items are small, novelty things not big ticket items.
Not often, but it has happened in the past.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie
True, but then it shouldn't have been given to one, but both.
Yes, I'd be miffed. The world can be unfair in ways parents have no control over. Why would a grandparent contribute to that?
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Originally Posted by DewDropInn
I'd be sitting MIL down and we'd be having us a "chat".
ODS got a DS for Christmas last year but YDS got a touch screen tablet toy too. She didn't say that, but that's the only thing I can think of.
It is odd, but I don't know the whole story.
I know you just want validation for your annoyance, and not rationalizations. I have a lot of experience, unfortunately, with very dramatic MILs on both ends of the spectrum. I usually have to go through a whole mental protocol to understand why each one operates the way she does.
It never matches up with what I would have done, either.
I'm gonna go out on a limb here, as gently as possible, and suggest that you NOT sit your MIL down. I'm not saying I would even be able to do this, but what if you were just thankful for the gift and moved on? Modeled gratitude etc. I mean, if you're keeping score, you'll always be worried about where you stand.
From what you've said, each kid now has his own DS. You could say that the "problem" is that your expectations - about how, from whom, and when - were not met. Maybe ... ?
I think you should sit her down and gently explain that you don't want her to buy gifts for one and not the other. You appreciate the gifts, but in the future if she buys pricey ones then give them to both of the boys not just one.
It depends for me, if she drops random gifts off for one or the other at different times then it wouldn't bother me. Although if she did that I don't think you would be upset right now.
It's a mystery, some people have things going on in that head of theirs that your not fully aware of.
Maybe the younger one expressed a fairness issue about the ds. Who knows. If it bothers the older one, have him ask her.
I don't think I would be miffed exactly, but I might be curious as to why she bought an expensive gift at an odd time. Did she buy it brand new, or did she maybe find at as a second hand store or something like that? I can picture my mom finding something really cool for a good price and buying it then not being able to contain herself until a birthday or Christmas arrived. She probably would have thought to get something small for my other child, but I certainly wouldn't tell her she *has* to. I would use the situation as one of those teachable moments that no one is entitled to receive a gift.
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