Buying for one child, not the other (non-birthday!!!) (wife, play, daughter)
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I would tell mother in law that she is not to bring an expensive gift for one child and not the other-- unannounced or not tied to a holiday or whatever-- or the gift will be refused. I would probably take the DS to TRU, return it for a store credit and buy BOTH kids something with the credit. Then tell mother in law that you did just that.
I agree with this. What she did was just plain awful.
Great advice so far, the only thing I would add is that the best way to figure out what the heck she was thinking is to ask her (as calmly as humanly possible ). It seems like there are a couple of possibilities, ranging from thoughtless to downright mean, but why she did it is probably important in terms of the response you/your husband give her. Unless you want to skip the intention altogether, and just ask her not to give big ticket items for no reason to just one kiddo in the future, period.
Do you think it is because of the bio/step issue? I really can't understand her thinking with this one.
For the sake of my blood pressure, I would try to believe that it was thoughtless, not deliberate. A one-time deal ... well, maybe she thought one boy had more than the other and was trying to even things out. (Annoying because I'd have to deal with envy and hurt feelings, but I can forgive a lot if I think you didn't intend to be hurtful.)
If she shows consistent favoritism over time, then it's time to tackle the issue. As the parents, it's our job to protect our kids. We have some favoritism in our extended family too (nothing like this!) so I know it's a really touchy subject.
Well, if anything it has a life lesson for the children. Life is not fair, and neither is grandma.
My grandma did the same to us 45 years ago. She played favorites. You learn to deal with it, sad it has to be learned so young.
Well, if anything it has a life lesson for the children. Life is not fair, and neither is grandma.
My grandma did the same to us 45 years ago. She played favorites. You learn to deal with it, sad it has to be learned so young.
There are options besides allowing blatant favoritism, though.
Well, if anything it has a life lesson for the children. Life is not fair, and neither is grandma.
My grandma did the same to us 45 years ago. She played favorites. You learn to deal with it, sad it has to be learned so young.
For the sake of my blood pressure, I would try to believe that it was thoughtless, not deliberate. A one-time deal ... well, maybe she thought one boy had more than the other and was trying to even things out. (Annoying because I'd have to deal with envy and hurt feelings, but I can forgive a lot if I think you didn't intend to be hurtful.)
If she shows consistent favoritism over time, then it's time to tackle the issue. As the parents, it's our job to protect our kids. We have some favoritism in our extended family too (nothing like this!) so I know it's a really touchy subject.
I agree. Maybe it was a one time thing so don't over react.
However, consistent favoritism is something that you should address.
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). It seems like there are a couple of possibilities, ranging from thoughtless to downright mean, but why she did it is probably important in terms of the response you/your husband give her. Unless you want to skip the intention altogether, and just ask her not to give big ticket items for no reason to just one kiddo in the future, period.
