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Many of my friends believe that marriage is a requirement if you want to have children. Most of my friends who believe this have parents who are divorced so I am wondering why they still believe this and what other people think as well. I have asked them why they feel so strongly about it and they just tell me that "that's just the way it is and should be."
I am married (no children yet) and my parents were not married (and never married) when I was born. I suppose this could be a reason why I have a different perspective on this.....well I do not think that is entirely true statement, my thougths are if you marry before kids, good for you, if you do not marry before kids, I do not judge you. I am pretty indifferent on the subject.
Yes I do. I think it takes two parents that are willing to commit to each other, to best raise a child. It's hard work, it takes a LOT of time, and kids really need the benefit of both parents.
Yes I do. I think it takes two parents that are willing to commit to each other, to best raise a child. It's hard work, it takes a LOT of time, and kids really need the benefit of both parents.
I believe that a couple should be committed to raising a child together, bearing equal levels of responsibility, for the long-term, ideally in a two-parent household. Whether or not that necessitates marriage isn't something I have strong feelings about one way or another. I don't disagree that it's possible to be committed to a life partner without marrying.
Raising children is difficult, but by far the most difficult thing I have ever done is to live according to the oath of my marriage because it requires me to keep a promise every day. Being a parent, I could, if I wanted, say, "Well, that's just how God made that kid. I have to step back and let him be him." As a spouse, though, I have to answer for my own actions. In doing that, I have grown in so many ways as a person.
Marriage is supposed to require a level of commitment that does not actually exist in a LTR.
If marriage is "just a piece of paper," why such resistance? Because not everyone wants to be held accountable to that level. Because it IS hard.
It's a different world than when I got married 30+ years ago. Living together for a long time/forever is much more normal than it was in generations past.
My answer to the original question is yes.
It is not a necessity to be married to have children, and there is nothing that says two unmarried individuals in a relationship can't bring up their children properly and with love. But there are a few weaknesses, as perceived by myself, in this sort of an arrangement.
As bad as it sounds, if things get difficult with a child there is a chance that being unmarried may cause someone in the relationship to feel they have an out as an excuse. Maybe thinking without the bind of marriage that there wasn't really a commitment even though you thought there was, and someone's true self may emerge when the road gets tough. It's not written nor is there a rule book, but it's just the possibility that this thought process can exist.
As with a mixed racial marriage, there could possibly be peer pressure of other kids know the parents aren't married. Maybe some other kids believe in marriage to have children, thus they may look down upon a child from an unmarried couple. Again, it's just a possibility.
And finally call me old fashioned. I just feel an unmarried household is missing something. I suppose marriage could be considered tangible, but for me the fact two individuals aren't married make me feel there is one piece of a true relationship that isn't there, and that is commitment. Just taking those vows is a commitment. Again, doesn't mean an unmarried family can't be just as happy and fruitful as a married family, but it's just that something that is missing.
I've been a participant in both an unmarried household and a married one. For me, the married one is by far the stronger. But I don't suppose to project my experience on everyone's situation.
I think if kids are involved you should be married. Just a gut feeling. I'm not married and have been in a LTR for a long time now. I think just having kids adds a different element to things.
Yes. Studies show kids are better off with two parents. If a couple can't commit to each other legally, they have no business having kids. While there are couples who never marry and stay together, most unmarried couples don't stay together and often it's the mom raising the kids alone. Single parenthood is been blamed for many of society's ills such as gangs, welfare, and many more issues.
Last edited by Idon'tdateyou; 01-02-2015 at 12:46 PM..
Yes. Besides all the other reasons people have mentioned, it protects you financially in the event of a death of one of the parents.
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