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What I find helpsis sit down and go year by year and write down all of the eventful memorable stuff that happened each year. I helps me remember how much there really was and then it does not seem like such a flash in the pan. At least in our fmaily an awful lot of big deal stuff happens int he period of a year (I assume that is true in all families). When you put it all together you end up realizing "Wow, that is a lot"
What I think also helps is to always keep it in mind when the kids are little that the time will go by fast.
I'll never forget how one of my brother-in-laws commented on this at some family event when all the kids were little and we were having to carry them and watch over them carefully and some of the "fun" you have with toddlers. We were sitting down to take a rest, complaining of sore arms, how we couldn't really enjoy the views at all times and everything and he wearily said "We have to keep in mind that these are the best days of our lives" and "someday we'll be old and sitting around reminising about the good days when the kids were very little -- so we really have to make sure we know right now we're really enjoying this".
So always when things are most chaotic it's good to remember how much you're going to miss all the noise and chaos someday. At least that way, you take the time to enjoy those times while they last.
I've heard it said that when the kids are little, the days are long, but the years are short. So true... I remember those looooong days; as a stay-at-home mom, by 3 or 4:00, I'd be watching the clock waiting for my husband to get home to give me a bit of a break. Having a talkative 4-year-old and a tantrum-y 2-year-old made the days feel really long. I second the motion to enjoy all of those minutes, though... while my 9-year-old will sometimes want to snuggle now, those days are over for my 11-year-old, and they're not into playing with me or coloring or whatever. Also, the physical exhaustion has given way to more worrying: not that they're going to stick a key in an electrical outlet or put a bead up their noses, but that they'll be bullied or that they're not empathetic enough or that I'm not giving them what they need to grow into productive and sensitive adults.
Today, I signed that huge packet of papers we do every year for school. Then, I looked at the forms, it said age 15, grade 10. Of course I know my dd is 15, in grade 10. But somehow, just seeing that, took my breath away for a few seconds. Where did the time go?
I remember the first time I filled out such forms, she was 3, in pre-school. My ds was 4. I sign the packet of papers for him tomorrow, it will, of course, say ds 15, as well --they are adopted, 6 months apart. I just remember the years going by, my beautiful babies growing up, and somehow took it for granted. With sadness I realize I only have a few more years, then, they can sign their own papers.
The first day of kidnergarten was emotional, as well. MY babies, going out into the world. Oh, how do parents stand it, when they graduate HS, college, marry? I think somehow we are lied to, the years from childhood to adulthood are not the same as other years, they are somehow shorter for parents and longer for the kids. I pulled out my old HS yearbook from 10th grade, geez, did I look like that? Who were those people who signed my yearbook? some are even dead now. It doesn't seem like it was so long ago........
I loved your post. My Son is now 43 years old going to be 44 in October. I remember all those days signing him up for school, college and finally attending his wedding to his beautiful wife..where did the time go is right! He is an only child who decided no kids for them..sadly as I do love kids, but their choice.
Enjoy the kids for as long as they are kids..I turned around and I am 64 almost 65 and there is my grown son, balding a little with the same beautiful smile that he had when he was a baby..coming thru my door saying "Good Morning Mom"...gotta love it. So precious.
I've heard it said that when the kids are little, the days are long, but the years are short. So true... I remember those looooong days; as a stay-at-home mom, by 3 or 4:00, I'd be watching the clock waiting for my husband to get home to give me a bit of a break. Having a talkative 4-year-old and a tantrum-y 2-year-old made the days feel really long. I second the motion to enjoy all of those minutes, though... while my 9-year-old will sometimes want to snuggle now, those days are over for my 11-year-old, and they're not into playing with me or coloring or whatever. Also, the physical exhaustion has given way to more worrying: not that they're going to stick a key in an electrical outlet or put a bead up their noses, but that they'll be bullied or that they're not empathetic enough or that I'm not giving them what they need to grow into productive and sensitive adults.
In retrospect, those days weren't so bad!
I love the song "You're gonna miss this." When we look back, we miss the times we wished away.
remember how much you're going to miss all the noise and chaos someday. .
No way will I be able t stand an almost empty house. When if the kids all move away, we will probably do foster care or take exchange students.
Given the realities of modern life it is likely some of the kids will always live in our house. They seem to go awy, come back, go away, come back. . . . No one can afford a house until they are 45 and everyone is likely to run into crises where they need to come home. When I was about 45 we moved our whole family into Mom and Dad's house for three weeks becasue we were not allowed to live in our nearly completed house anymore (long story). I hope I can always provide a landing spot for my kids and/or grandchildren. Not to be taken advantage of, but to ensure a back up plan for emergencies or crises.
It gets easier, but the hole they leave never fills up completely. If you're lucky (like me) you'll enjoy a wonderful relationship with your adult "babies". But, nothing beats going to bed at night with them sleeping peacefully under your roof.
Someone sent me this when my last left for college. It sums up what we Moms feel when they go. Be warned, 6 years later I still can't read this without crying.
They seem to go awy, come back, go away, come back. . . . No one can afford a house until they are 45 and everyone is likely to run into crises where they need to come home.
Oddly enough, that is not true everywhere.
My daughter and her husband got their house in WA when she was 24.
My son and his wife got their house here in PA when he was 22.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coldjensens
I hope I can always provide a landing spot for my kids and/or grandchildren. Not to be taken advantage of, but to ensure a back up plan for emergencies or crises.
Us too, for our kids, their friends, and our future grandkids!
My only baby will be 21 next week! It seems as if we were just looking at colleges, and now this is her last year.
And sometimes it seems as if we were just doing Girl Scouts, or having birthday parties...
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