Ex wants to place daughter with a babysitter. How do I protect myself? (child support, childcare)
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So basically, the ex and I have been separated for 2 years and are working towards an absolute divorce. She's recently come to me telling me that she is having a babysitter watch our daughter during the day and that I need to pay half. The babysitter is going to be a friend of hers. My ex is a very protective mother so I don't see a problem with her friend babysitting my daughter.
What I am concerned about though is being taken advantage of in the sense that my Ex wants $50 a week for half of the expense. That's fine. Obviously a lot less than what it could be. But... How can I be sure her friend is charging $100/week and not just $50 making it to where I am paying the full amount? How can I ensure that my daughter is going to this babysitter and my ex isn't just pocketing the money? And pretty much anything else anyone can suggest about this situation.
Trust me I want to take care of my daughter, but I do NOT want to be exploited by her mother. I was thinking I could have her provide a receipt for the $100 charge and pay her my half. Or have her provide something from the babysitter that shows the days my daughter was with her and costs. Somehow what she provides me as 'proof' needs to be official to some extent instead of under the table.
Ask for receipts for tax purposes. Quite homestly, if y'all can get quality childcare for 50/100 a week... pay it with a smile. Even if you get "taken" by the mother, your child is in a childcare situation wherew she is safe, loved and cared for.... that my dear... is priceless.
I would definately require a receipt, and use it on your taxes. That will require the friend of your ex's to pay taxes on her income for the babysitting. Be aware that since she is a friend of your ex's, she may not be honest about the receipt though.
Ask for a bill instead of a receipt stating total charges, including your wife's so she is at least under the impression that whatever she puts down on paper will be turned into the IRS. Maybe that will keep her honest.
Since you will be paying half, you have every right to stop by and check on your daughter and call from time to time to check up on her. If the babysitter seems nervous at those times, I'd drop by the ex's to see that your daughter is actually being cared for by the friend.
Also be sure to write the check out directly to the sitter, not to your ex-wife. That way you can show that the checks were at least "supposed" to be for babysitting.
Most states support "the right of first refusal". Which means she must give you the right to watch the child before using a babysitter.
But I must say, a $100 a week for babysitting is reasonable. I know you fear she may be making money on child support, but unless you are wealthy I doubt she is profiting.
Ask for receipts for tax purposes. Quite homestly, if y'all can get quality childcare for 50/100 a week... pay it with a smile. Even if you get "taken" by the mother, your child is in a childcare situation wherew she is safe, loved and cared for.... that my dear... is priceless.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoExcuses
I would definately require a receipt, and use it on your taxes. That will require the friend of your ex's to pay taxes on her income for the babysitting. Be aware that since she is a friend of your ex's, she may not be honest about the receipt though.
Ask for a bill instead of a receipt stating total charges, including your wife's so she is at least under the impression that whatever she puts down on paper will be turned into the IRS. Maybe that will keep her honest.
Since you will be paying half, you have every right to stop by and check on your daughter and call from time to time to check up on her. If the babysitter seems nervous at those times, I'd drop by the ex's to see that your daughter is actually being cared for by the friend.
Yeah, she's not going to like that I ask for a bill, but she'll have to deal with it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KH02
Also be sure to write the check out directly to the sitter, not to your ex-wife. That way you can show that the checks were at least "supposed" to be for babysitting.
She's not going to like that either, but that's a good idea.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ferretkona
Most states support "the right of first refusal". Which means she must give you the right to watch the child before using a babysitter.
But I must say, a $100 a week for babysitting is reasonable. I know you fear she may be making money on child support, but unless you are wealthy I doubt she is profiting.
Unfortunately, I work so I'm not able to watch my daughter during the day. My ex-wife only said that it's her business when I asked why she wanted to put our daughter into daycare.
I'm hoping to avoid making an issue out this, but at the same time I know she is in financial trouble since our separation. That's why I'm concerned about making sure the money gets to who and for what it needs to be.
Yep. Get receipts AND the babysitter's social security number so you can report her earnings when you write off your childcare expenses on your tax return.
Yeah, she's not going to like that I ask for a bill, but she'll have to deal with it.
She's not going to like that either, but that's a good idea.
Who cares what she likes!?!?!?! You have every right to pay the babysitter directly. Writing a check to the sitter does somewhat solve the receipt problem too.
I would assume that the court would give guidelines in these unfortunate situations.
I would get receipts. Over here the I doubt that the father can not claim on their tax but they could claim it as a portion of whatever support the cour has required them to pay.
If the relationship deteriorates then having some paper evidence can help to restrain wild acusations.
Yeah, I don't really care what she likes, but I am trying to prevent any unneeded drama which she seems to want. I tried asking more information about her friends setup, if she and her house was licensed/inspected, the number of care givers and children, how it is billed as far as by hour, day, week, what happens if she misses a day... She blew up at me and told me to never mind that she would take care of and went back to her hostile ways of talking about taking me to court. Funny how this has happened before. Her asking for something, me asking for more information, and then her telling me to ef off.
Unfortunately, I don't have any court paperwork to back anything up. I was hoping I wouldn't need any. I guess I was being foolish. I'm actually very fortunate in my situation, but I just wish my ex wouldn't think I was always out to get her or trying to cop out of everything.
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