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Don't say "please" or try to be polite. If you sincerely feel you are protecting your child from any potential abuse or harm you have to be firm...eg.. "If you want to film your kid you should go into the room and do close ups of your kid...I don't want my child in the shot" Don't be a suck...be a jerk if you have concerns....You job is to protect your child not to be a "nice" person.
As far as assuming that every adult male might be a pedophile..That is a sad commentary on society at large. If I see a wonderful child and mother - I make sure that I am perceived by the mother as a solid citizen..mothers know how is not to be trusted and who is..it's about good judgement- You can't go through life assuming the devil is hiding every bush.
As a male I have to use good judgement when partaking in normal human interaction...it's a shame that it has come to this- don't let the bad people win..protect your child but do not be paranoid...You will instill fear in the child and the kid will not trust anyone in the future...There are good and normal people out there.
Oh please. Being unnecessarily rude is how you escalate situations into issues when thèy don't need to be, especially when the danger was low to begin with. Ask nicely and if they don't comply then get funky, but not before.
Look at this situation. The woman wasn't even intending to put the video online. If she had started out being a jerk with the lady and started a full blown argument it would have been for no good reason. Not to mention a room full of people would have witnessed the foolishness.
When I read the title of the thread, I was picturing something like a scene from "Up All Night" this past week. A couple has a 1 year old. Dad is constantly videotaping his little girl. Mom wants him to be in the moment with her and bets him that he can't go a full week without video taping the little girl. A few days into it, he just HAS to videotape cute scenes he is seeing, so he starts video taping some random boy. Dad of Random Boy comes up and tells him to stop and delete it. They end up getting into a fight and the phone that it was taped on is eventually thrown and destroyed.
In that situation, I agree that it is wrong. It is kind of creepy too. When it is dance, you have to expect that your child will be taped by strangers. SHe is performing for strangers. Some people like a wide shot to be able to show the full impact of the performance. Some people want to zoom in on just their child, but the only way to get a shot of the feet and the face means that other kids will also be in the shot. Kids may also be behind the kid being taped. It will happen. I can't even tell you how many girls we have pictures of at home. I was in dance for 15 years. That is a lot of time to accidentally get a shot of the girl next to me. Ask me any of their names though. I can't remember any of them. I also didn't notice the other girls in the picture. Most people will focus on the subject of the picture and let the background be just that... background.
If you found your child tagged in a pic on FB, then I think you can complain.
I sent a video to my parents of my daughter's soccer game last week. Does that make me a pervert? My daughter was on the cover of our city's paper last year, so far no perverts lurking in our bushes.
Lighten up, even given the miniscule chance that the husband is a pedophile ( nice btw that that is your first thought, poor guy can't even watch his kid dance!) the chances of him crazily fixating on your precious child are...almost nothing. And what the heck does adoption have to do with this?
When I read the title of the thread, I was picturing something like a scene from "Up All Night" this past week. A couple has a 1 year old. Dad is constantly videotaping his little girl. Mom wants him to be in the moment with her and bets him that he can't go a full week without video taping the little girl. A few days into it, he just HAS to videotape cute scenes he is seeing, so he starts video taping some random boy. Dad of Random Boy comes up and tells him to stop and delete it. They end up getting into a fight and the phone that it was taped on is eventually thrown and destroyed.
In that situation, I agree that it is wrong. It is kind of creepy too. When it is dance, you have to expect that your child will be taped by strangers. SHe is performing for strangers. Some people like a wide shot to be able to show the full impact of the performance. Some people want to zoom in on just their child, but the only way to get a shot of the feet and the face means that other kids will also be in the shot. Kids may also be behind the kid being taped. It will happen. I can't even tell you how many girls we have pictures of at home. I was in dance for 15 years. That is a lot of time to accidentally get a shot of the girl next to me. Ask me any of their names though. I can't remember any of them. I also didn't notice the other girls in the picture. Most people will focus on the subject of the picture and let the background be just that... background.
If you found your child tagged in a pic on FB, then I think you can complain.
How would he know that if he's not friends with this woman on FB? or doesn't happen to have it sent to him if he has FB from a member the parent who took the video doesn't know. All this woman had to do was say I'm sorry I will make sure your daughter doesn't show up on the video when I send it to my husband and friends, that's all it would have taken to help the OP to know his child will be safe from going on the internet for strangers to see.
It's understandable that a parent would record their child in dance class it's not understandable or acceptable to include another child and no it's not unavoidable this parent didn't consider the feelings of other parents, I'm sorry but that is just selfish it's me me me my child and you better expect and accept it attitude. I would not dare accept that had it been my child being video taped and they didn't prove to me the original was changed or said anything to me about intending to change it.
Perhaps it's time to ban parents video tapeing their children in Schools and instead to be fair to everyone by making arrangements with the School to record all recitals, dance classes, etc etc with all children in them and have each parent sign an agreement to have their children fuzzed/cropped out for other parents but not for their video of their child. Have the parents pay a small fee for the copy of thier video with their child only in the video and then they can do whatever they want with their own video. Taylor it to each parent with only their child. This way the parents don't have to worry about violating other parents and their children by putting them on FB or sending their video's out without the other parents permission. No worries about their batteries going dead at the last minute or if they show up late they missed the best part with their child and parents who don't want their children recorded with someone else's child and sent out for any stranger to get. It would be IMHO the best way to please both sides of this problem.
No matter how much you think it's safe it's not as safe as parents think it is. Security can be broken into on any internet social media site, you don't know who could be hacking into your FB and you certaninly don't know who could be sending out that picture/video even in the most innocent way to people you yourself don't even know. It's not just limimted to family and friends anymore I don't know what is wrong you parents today who think the OP was wrong to make the request he made.
Num1baby you are not a predator nor are you a pervert so it's safe with you but you cannot guarantee that with other people you send that out to because once you send it then that person sends it to their friends then that 3rd person sends to 4, 5, and 6 people and so on. At what point can you guarantee someone won't pick it apart to find out who, where and when that picture was taken guess what you can't. I just don't trust that someone out there won't have some sick attraction to children on the internet. Talk to trained detective some day and find out how much they can hack into the internet and what they can find when they want to.
Oh please. Being unnecessarily rude is how you escalate situations into issues when thèy don't need to be, especially when the danger was low to begin with. Ask nicely and if they don't comply then get funky, but not before.
Look at this situation. The woman wasn't even intending to put the video online. If she had started out being a jerk with the lady and started a full blown argument it would have been for no good reason. Not to mention a room full of people would have witnessed the foolishness.
Yah I know.... just kissing some flunky funky butt. The whole attitude was silly- "The husband might be some pedophile" give me a break - I was just hoping to start a fist fight in ballerina class..the woman in all honesty sounds like some flake.. as if the filming was the beginning of child porn. I actually thought the whole episode described was so light weight...Yes I am guilty of pandering.
Just the whole thought of these overly privileged doinks watching their kids prance about as if they were all going to be famous dancers was silly- I am sure they pay 100 bucks a class just to feel special...what a freak..she is worried about the kids image being used for kiddie porn....not likely and not probable...If I were the mother that was told not to film- I would have been twice as pissed off as the mother insisting on privacy...
How would he know that if he's not friends with this woman on FB? or doesn't happen to have it sent to him if he has FB from a member the parent who took the video doesn't know. All this woman had to do was say I'm sorry I will make sure your daughter doesn't show up on the video when I send it to my husband and friends, that's all it would have taken to help the OP to know his child will be safe from going on the internet for strangers to see.
It's understandable that a parent would record their child in dance class it's not understandable or acceptable to include another child and no it's not unavoidable this parent didn't consider the feelings of other parents, I'm sorry but that is just selfish it's me me me my child and you better expect and accept it attitude. I would not dare accept that had it been my child being video taped and they didn't prove to me the original was changed or said anything to me about intending to change it.
Perhaps it's time to ban parents video tapeing their children in Schools and instead to be fair to everyone by making arrangements with the School to record all recitals, dance classes, etc etc with all children in them and have each parent sign an agreement to have their children fuzzed/cropped out for other parents but not for their video of their child. Have the parents pay a small fee for the copy of thier video with their child only in the video and then they can do whatever they want with their own video. Taylor it to each parent with only their child. This way the parents don't have to worry about violating other parents and their children by putting them on FB or sending their video's out without the other parents permission. No worries about their batteries going dead at the last minute or if they show up late they missed the best part with their child and parents who don't want their children recorded with someone else's child and sent out for any stranger to get. It would be IMHO the best way to please both sides of this problem.
No matter how much you think it's safe it's not as safe as parents think it is. Security can be broken into on any internet social media site, you don't know who could be hacking into your FB and you certaninly don't know who could be sending out that picture/video even in the most innocent way to people you yourself don't even know. It's not just limimted to family and friends anymore I don't know what is wrong you parents today who think the OP was wrong to make the request he made.
Num1baby you are not a predator nor are you a pervert so it's safe with you but you cannot guarantee that with other people you send that out to because once you send it then that person sends it to their friends then that 3rd person sends to 4, 5, and 6 people and so on. At what point can you guarantee someone won't pick it apart to find out who, where and when that picture was taken guess what you can't. I just don't trust that someone out there won't have some sick attraction to children on the internet. Talk to trained detective some day and find out how much they can hack into the internet and what they can find when they want to.
What I don't understand is how is a picture of a kid on Facebook is any more dangerous than the kid being out in the real world. Yes, it is possible that some psychopath can become fixated on somebody's random child in the background of someone else's picture. It is also possible that that same psychopath can be AT the dance class, the soccer game, maybe even the coach or teacher...or could be a stranger who just so happens to notice the kid on the way home from school and decide to follow her. No, I don't know who could be hacking into my computer, and I also don't know who could be lurking in the bushes. There's a line between being reasonably cautious, and being paranoid.
If someone is that determined to hack into my computer to figure out where I live and who I am, they are just as capable of figuring that out with or without a picture. I do think there are precautions that should be taken as far as personal information and the identity of children, but I fail to see how a kid in the background of someone else's photo is in any more danger than in any other, real life situation.
If I took pictures of my neighborhood and got the homes, license plates of cars, street names and my neighbors in those pictures and kept them to myself that's fine.
You do realize most of this is already public information, correct? There's picture of your house and street on the internet right now and I can zoom in and see of you have a deck or a pool. If I had your name right now, in most states it would take me 10 seconds to get your home address and find out how much you pay for property taxes -- you can get that info from THIS site. If I have just an address, I can find out who owns the home in any state. That's not social media, that is simply is public information.
How would he know that if he's not friends with this woman on FB? or doesn't happen to have it sent to him if he has FB from a member the parent who took the video doesn't know. All this woman had to do was say I'm sorry I will make sure your daughter doesn't show up on the video when I send it to my husband and friends, that's all it would have taken to help the OP to know his child will be safe from going on the internet for strangers to see.
It's understandable that a parent would record their child in dance class it's not understandable or acceptable to include another child and no it's not unavoidable this parent didn't consider the feelings of other parents, I'm sorry but that is just selfish it's me me me my child and you better expect and accept it attitude. I would not dare accept that had it been my child being video taped and they didn't prove to me the original was changed or said anything to me about intending to change it.
Perhaps it's time to ban parents video tapeing their children in Schools and instead to be fair to everyone by making arrangements with the School to record all recitals, dance classes, etc etc with all children in them and have each parent sign an agreement to have their children fuzzed/cropped out for other parents but not for their video of their child. Have the parents pay a small fee for the copy of thier video with their child only in the video and then they can do whatever they want with their own video. Taylor it to each parent with only their child. This way the parents don't have to worry about violating other parents and their children by putting them on FB or sending their video's out without the other parents permission. No worries about their batteries going dead at the last minute or if they show up late they missed the best part with their child and parents who don't want their children recorded with someone else's child and sent out for any stranger to get. It would be IMHO the best way to please both sides of this problem.
No matter how much you think it's safe it's not as safe as parents think it is. Security can be broken into on any internet social media site, you don't know who could be hacking into your FB and you certaninly don't know who could be sending out that picture/video even in the most innocent way to people you yourself don't even know. It's not just limimted to family and friends anymore I don't know what is wrong you parents today who think the OP was wrong to make the request he made.
Num1baby you are not a predator nor are you a pervert so it's safe with you but you cannot guarantee that with other people you send that out to because once you send it then that person sends it to their friends then that 3rd person sends to 4, 5, and 6 people and so on. At what point can you guarantee someone won't pick it apart to find out who, where and when that picture was taken guess what you can't. I just don't trust that someone out there won't have some sick attraction to children on the internet. Talk to trained detective some day and find out how much they can hack into the internet and what they can find when they want to.
If you are tagged in FB, you get a notification. It doesn't matter if you are a friend or not.
I have no idea how you can tape a child in dance class and not get any other children in the shot. Even if you have an extreme closeup of just the face, you will get some child who happens to dance behind your child, or crosses in front. And there is no point in doing extreme closeups in a dance class.
Banning all pictures at schools? Please tell me this is a joke, and the blurring of faces is a joke. So you would get a class picture of 19 blurs and your child? What is the point. I still look at my Kindergarten class picture occasionally and see how some of my friends looked back then.
What I don't understand is how is a picture of a kid on Facebook is any more dangerous than the kid being out in the real world. Yes, it is possible that some psychopath can become fixated on somebody's random child in the background of someone else's picture. It is also possible that that same psychopath can be AT the dance class, the soccer game, maybe even the coach or teacher
You do realize most of this is already public information, correct? There's picture of your house and street on the internet right now and I can zoom in and see of you have a deck or a pool. If I had your name right now, in most states it would take me 10 seconds to get your home address and find out how much you pay for property taxes -- you can get that info from THIS site. If I have just an address, I can find out who owns the home in any state. That's not social media, that is simply is public information.
You can also find out the layout of the house, what year they bought it and for how much. I shock people with the information I can give them about themselves, their parents, their children, their siblings, their best friends, anyone in their life after a 5 minute conversation and 5 minutes online (not social media).
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