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I wasn't aware that that was the reason she co-sleeps..I just figured (if she's like me) that if she wakes up in the night anyways, why not check on the little one laying right next to her...I also figure if she is a little paranoid, it's probably something that will ease as the child gets older.
Sometimes his grandparents want him to stay with them on weekends. So that would be an overnight stay right? Its also possible to check on him at night regardless of where he sleeps. I wake up and roll over and make sure all is well with him.
I admit my motives may seem weird but did you lose a parent as a child? If not then I don't expect you to know where im coming from.
If his grandparents are not child molesters, irresponsible people, drunks or druggies, I don't know why it's such a big deal for you to allow him to spend the night with them once in a while. What would happen if something should happen to you, like ending up in the hospital, or any number of other things? What would happen if he should all of a sudden, find you completely out of the picture and he has to be with someone else.
I think it's sad to be so overprotective of your child, that you can't understand how important it is to prepare for unforseen circumstances. If you've got trustworthy grandparents who are WILLING to spend time with your child and get to know them, personally, I think you're crazy not to take advantage of the situation! LOL
If his grandparents are not child molesters, irresponsible people, drunks or druggies, I don't know why it's such a big deal for you to allow him to spend the night with them once in a while. What would happen if something should happen to you, like ending up in the hospital, or any number of other things? What would happen if he should all of a sudden, find you completely out of the picture and he has to be with someone else.
I think it's sad to be so overprotective of your child, that you can't understand how important it is to prepare for unforseen circumstances. If you've got trustworthy grandparents who are WILLING to spend time with your child and get to know them, personally, I think you're crazy not to take advantage of the situation! LOL
He's two. He should already have been learning about boundaries. One of those boundaries SHOULD be not sleeping with his mother, but sleeping in his own room. You're also denying him learning about falling asleep by himself. You're creating no end of headaches for yourself in the future.
Sorry, but in this issue, there is no right or wrong, it's up to each parent to decide what is best for their own child.
OP, I don't think you're being overprotective, I think you're being the right amount of protective. lol.
Sorry, but in this issue, there is no right or wrong, it's up to each parent to decide what is best for their own child.
OP, I don't think you're being overprotective, I think you're being the right amount of protective. lol.
Just wait until the first time he is put in his own bed.
Just wait until the first time he is put in his own bed.
I raised my daughters this way, and there was no issue when it came time for their own beds, they chose their own bedding...etc...so not sure what you mean, there was no trauma during the transition.
My daughter and her husband are also cosleeping with their child.
I raised my daughters this way, and there was no issue when it came time for their own beds, they chose their own bedding...etc...so not sure what you mean, there was no trauma during the transition.
My daughter and her husband are also cosleeping with their child.
I'm glad that worked out for you and is apparently working out with your daughter.
Sometimes what you think of as being kind, indulgent, or protective is actually harmful in the long run.
It's hard to put that into perspective, but killing someone with kindness...this happens all the time.
Look at all the people who kill their pets by giving them treats all the time and causing obesity, heart disease, etc.
Look at all the parents of the millennials who mollycoddled their kids and told them repeatedly how special they are and made sure their feelings were never hurt (in school, in sport competition, by the realities of life)...these kids are completely useless and helpless as adults.
How many people did I meet in college who were completely inept and clueless at how to do basic laundry, manage their own timetables, boil water...?
2 years old? Kid should be sleeping by himself by 4 to 6 months. It's better sleep for him. It's better sleep for you. His mother shouldn't be killing herself slowly by getting year after year of interrupted sleep. And I can't imagine what it's doing for your marriage...having him occupy your bed. Or how good it is for your marriage that you're ignoring your husband's opinion.
I see no issue with taking your kid everywhere with you. Why not? Kids like to go places, see things, and meet new people. But if it's become crippling (like you can't go ANYWHERE without him), it's time to step back and get a grip.
His father is the one person on earth you should feel 100% safe leaving him with by himself. Kids need to form individual relationships with their parents.
I don't see why he needs to go spend the night anywhere else right now, either. What's the point?
Frankly, mothers have an intuition about their kids and their needs that others don't understand. It is easy to go overboard, though. Try small steps of independence for him...
Everyone seems to think im overprotective of my soon to be 2 year old son. I disagree. Just because I won't leave my son with certain people or take him everywhere I go dosen't make me over protective does it? Most of the reason why is because I know everyone is not going to treat him the way I do. I still rock him to sleep, he sleeps with me, and I even wake up through the nite and check on him. But its only out of concern and love. My dad says im "spoiling" him and I have to let him grow up and be a little boy. I don't run to his rescue everytime he falls like I used too. I even let him cry now when he dosen't get something he wants. His dad says I have turned him into a mama's boy. I used to tag along with him and his dad on their guy time. I don't do that anymore. My mom passed when I was 14 and I just want to spend as much time with my son as possible because I know tomorrow is not promised. I know he won't remember any of this by the time he grows up but if something was to happen to me everyone will be able to tell him " I never let him out my sight for too long" and he will know how much I loved him. Is this selfish of me? Maybe so. Overnight stays are just not what im feeling right now. Maybe when he gets older and can tell me everyting that went on but until then no. What are your thoughts on the matter?
Let me just put it to you this way:
My husband was married to his first wife for 17 years. They tried to have a baby for ten years and finally succeeded.
As soon as that baby was born, he became the most important person in the mother's life. She went from a fun, romantic partner to a 100 percent mom right away, and never looked back. She and her husband had been the type to take little overnight trips together, or go out for dinner together (he is a very romantic and generous husband). From the day they brought the baby home, till they divorced seven years later, he slept in the bed between them. She refused to get babysitters. She refused to leave him, even with either grandmother, for even a few hours. Even when he was past infancy.
She became absolutely obsessed with this child. Now - my husband had desperately wanted a child, and was crazy about his son (still is, of course, and he's now 19). He's a very loving and affectionate and attentive father - Little League coach, crazy football dad, at every function, church on Sundays, you name it. But his wife's obsession with their son became a tragic wedge between them.
And you can imagine, without me going into more lurid detail, just how...inhibiting...it can be to have a small child in bed with the parents - every night.
Eventually, they divorced. I met my husband several years later and we've been happily married now for nearly 8 years. He's very affectionate and involved with his college age son, and has happily embraced my kids and my grandkids as his own (my kids are grown).
Meanwhile, he is also very romantic and attentive, and loves spoiling me and being spoiled in return. It is obvious to me that this is an important part of marriage to him.
After we got married, his exwife asked to talk with me. Wow, that was surprising, but we met, and she said, "I don't know what he has told you, but I am going to tell you the REAL reason we're divorced." WHAT! DRUMROLL!!!! Boy, did I expect to get an earful!
Instead, she told me exactly what he had told me, except she put it in these words:
"When our son was born, I put him first. Everyone told me I was wrong - my mother, our preacher, my best friends - but I knew in my heart I was right. Our son is THE most important person in the world to me. He didn't ask to be born, and I feel like it's my job to put him first. So I never have apologized about it and never will."
How weird is that?
Anyway, I just said, "Well, to be honest, that's exactly what M______ told me caused your marriage to fall apart. All I can really say now is THANK YOU. If it wasn't for that belief of yours, he and I would probably have never met and married. He's a terrific father and that means a lot to me and to my family. I am sorry your marriage didn't work out but I am so glad that he and I met and are able to build a life together."
I have always felt that it was very tragic that two loving parents and a long marriage would be torn apart by such misplaced priorities. My husband is a good man - faithful, no destructive habits, very honest and affectionate, and a good provider. The death of his first marriage and that divorce broke his heart and made parenting his son more of a challenge. To this day, his son is definitely a "mama's boy" and NOT better for it. She threw away a terrific husband and father and in the end caused her son unnecessary pain and confusion.
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