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My ex is a pig, but a loving father so I never interfered with his relationship with the kids, made them available any time, didn't involve them or slag him off to them, etc.
As a result they are now teenagers and after 10 years of bringing them up alone and unsupported they have taken off to dads where they are no rules, and he's pretty much poisoned them against me over the years, which I never realised could actually happen...add some teenage hormones, and it has. We are almost completely estranged and its all down to him manipulating them to spite me because he still looooooooves me. Duh....I divorced him 13 years ago.
Anyway he played the "I'm not seeing the kids" in the early days so I told him to p*ss off, they would be better off without him. Unfortunately he got over it and I let him have total and unrestricted access.
A friend of mine has a daughter, age 13, and her ex has remarried and had two more kids, little ones, with the new wife.
He has pics up on Facebook of himself, new wife, and 2 babies, and none of his older daughter, and when she sent him a "daughter" family/relationship request on FB he refused it!
She also spent weekends (every other) at his place until the new wife was expecting baby number 2, then he told his daughter that she needed to take all her stuff home so they could make her room into the baby's room. After that she slept on the sofa. New wife told her, "I don't like older kids, sorry."
I don't' have anything else to add that is of any use.. I just don't understand how someone can willfully hurt their child like this though. It is heartbreaking at 5 or 10 or 13 or even 20. It's just that the 20 year old will probably hide their heartbreak better. I remember being about 7 or 8 and listening in while my mom was on the phone, begging my father to take me for my scheduled month long summer visit, telling him "I know you have stuff going on but she needs her father!" He was too busy with his multiple girlfriends to have a kid cramping his style in his bachelor pad. Ugh. Even when he did take me he usually sent me home after 2 weeks for "something" I had done (I never had a clue) vs the full month.
I never had much of a relationship with him. Things were very slightly better when I was in my late 20's and he was old enough and getting sick and knew he was gonna die so he started being "nice" out of guilt. Sad that it often ends that way.
It's amazing how they just forget about their first family of kids. I agree about the age thing too.
Here's a twist to the situation! The girlfriend text messaged me yesterday. It sounds to me that their relationship has been built on lies and he's got my kids strung all in the middle of it. She's much younger than him. She told me that she had thought for several months that he only had a 5 year old daughter who lived in Boston which was a complete lie. She found out from a friend of his that he actually had a son and a daughter, who are both adults. She said he told he was afraid she would leave him because he's much older than her. She said she's been asking him to introduce the kids to her but that he always blames me for not wanting to do it. When my daughter asked him about the girlfriend he told her that he didn't want to introduce her because he's not certain they're going to be together. This is just a crazy mess. She told me some other things that just made my stomach turn. All I can say is better her than me. I don't have the heart to tell the kids the lies he's said regarding them because it would devastate and disappoint them to no end.
It breaks my heart to see my kids hurt over this and I'm not really sure how to handle it.
Sometimes. . .people really do suck.
I hope other people have advise. . .mine is pretty self centered (to hell with him)
maybe based on your latest post, invite the GF over for dinner. . .and say You can forward to him too
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We are almost completely estranged and its all down to him manipulating them to spite me because he still looooooooves me. Duh....I divorced him 13 years ago. 
